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What about little microphones?

"What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls?

When you skateboarded down the street at night you could hear everyone's heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar.

One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone's hearts would start to beat at the same time ...

... like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don't really want to know about.

That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn't have had time to match up their heartbeats yet.

. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war."
Extrememly Loud & Incrediably Close
Jonathan Safran Foer

Why Can't Korea Successfully Promote Itself?

The Korea Herald had a surprisingly interesting and insightful article today called "Korea failing to promote its art." The article interviewed Robert Turley who founded the Korean Art and Antiques gallery in New York. While Koreans probably lapped up his praise of the originality and stunning nature of Korean art, he had a very targeted criticism of how Korea has failed to successfully promote itself on the art scene (and every other scene it seems lately, aside from ice skating).

The recent Korean Art Show in New York in the first week of March was an example, he said. It was organized by the Galleries Association of Korea and Korea International Art Fair and supported by Korea's Ministry of Culture, Tourism and Sports.
"It was a great opportunity to see much Korean art under one roof, but nobody knew about it. (...) "The whole thing was like a big secret with hardly any promotion. I only found out about it a few days before the show. They had a one-page website, not much press exposure and a video on YouTube that had only 48 views," he said.

It's a perfect example of how Korea doesn't seem to grasp Western marketing and advertising practices. Recall how many millions have been spent by the government coming up with national branding slogans like Korea Sparkling, HiSeoul, and Dynamic Korea, Here was someone who owns a prominent gallery in New York not to mention his position as president of the Korean Art Society who didn't get so much as a mailing about this gigantic show.

This is my favorite quote from the interview:

"Korean Cultural Service, whose mission is to promote Korean culture to non-Koreans, answers the phone in Korean. It sounds like a small funny thing, but it is a big sign of their attitude," he said.

Welcome to Korea buddy. It is a big sign of their attitude, one of cultural supremacy and an seeming inability to educate themselves on how to even properly promote themselves or on how to adapt to other cultural norms to make their own more accessible.

Spaz update: I forgot to restock my purse stash of tea and must go through my day practically caffeine free (I did have a giant mug at breakfast). I foresee much misery.

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http://aaaalexsadventuresinasia.blogspot.com/

10 Magazine poll: And the winners are... with Alexa ranking goodness

With hat tips and congratulations, the 10 Magazine poll asking readers' favorite Korean blogs is over. With that goes an odd sort of voting - only one blog could be chosen as 'the best', and three blogs taking a majority of the vote. Considering there's 'over 300 English blogs on Korea' according to 10 Magazine (I read almost 100 of them myself), that's a bit surprising. There's nothing really at stake, and frankly I have no need to satiate my ego by a poll.

Since I was a bit curious about the numbers, though, I decided to download the Alexa Toolbar and see what their rankings were for each of the blogs mentioned. In case the name is unfamiliar, Alexa "computes traffic rankings by analyzing the Web usage of millions of Alexa Toolbar users and data obtained from other, diverse traffic data sources. The information is sorted, sifted, anonymized, counted, and computed, until, finally, we get the traffic rankings shown in the Alexa service." For more information about their methodologies, go here. Since few websites / blogs publicly disclose the number of hits they get, this seemed like the most neutral (e.g. least biased) way to satisfy my personal curiosity. There are a few hiccups within the data, but exclude the outliers and there's actually some interesting things to look at.

The aforementioned poll was kind enough to put the URL in parentheses, which I copied and pasted into the address bar. Once the website / blog loaded, I noted the Alexa ranking as indicated on the installed toolbar, as of this post (18 March 2010). For your viewing pleasure (remember lower rankings = higher traffic numbers; note these numbers likely change frequently)...

The Marmot's Hole (rjkoehler.com) 5% - #69,277

Chris in South Korea (chrisinsouthkorea.blogspot.com) 2% - #261,743

The Grand Narrative (thegrandnarrative.wordpress.com) 2% - no rank [huh?!]

Zen Kimchi (zenkimchi.com) 3% - #227,270

Brian in Jeollanam-do (briandeutsch.blogspot.com) 6% - #80,522

Gusts of Popular Feeling (populargusts.blogspot.com) 3% - #320,744

Eat Your Kimchi (eatyourkimchi.com) 5% - #342,059

Korean Modern Literature in Translation (ktlit.com) 14% - #4,798,177

Seoul Eats (seouleats.com) 3% - #188,225

Korean Rum Diary (koreanrumdiary.blogspot.com - Rated PG-13 for profanity.) 5% - #398,176

Ask The Expat (asktheexpat.blogspot.com) 1% - #221,051

An Idiot's Tale (yankeenom.blogspot.com -Rated PG-13 for profanity.) 18% - #248,655

Korea Beat (us.asiancorrespondent.com/korea-beat) 2% - #35,628 [based on the asiancorrespondent.com domain name, so it's not just KB's blog making the rank higher]

Six in Seoul (sixinseoul.weebly.com) 24% - #799 [rank for weebly.com, not the Six in Seoul blog specifically]

Ruby Clicks (rubyclicks.blogspot.com) 1% - no rank

ESL Teacher Time (eslteachertime.blogspot.com - Rated PG-13 for profanity.) 1% - #14,269,016

You Can't Hold Me Responsible for This (joseph-gutierrez.com - Rated PG-13 for profanity) 2% - #12,334,085

Rip City To Seoul (ripcitytoseoul.wordpress.com) 3% - #2,901,299

Incidentally, at least one fellow blogger noted a lack of an invitation, so I checked them out in the same fashion (again, lower rankings = higher traffic numbers):

Extra Korea! (http://extrakorea.wordpress.com/) - #1,101,135

An acorn in the dog's food (http://samedi.livejournal.com/) - #82 [ranking for livejournal.com, not for the individual blog]

Ask a Korean! (http://askakorean.blogspot.com/) - #300,518

Dokdo is Ours! (http://dokdoisours.blogspot.com/) - #267,122

@koreangov (http://governmentofkorea.blogspot.com/) - #995,474

A few more I read for good measure:

Foreigner/Joy (http://foreignerjoy.blogspot.com/) - #732,854

Roboseyo (http://roboseyo.blogspot.com/) - #556,919

ROK Drop (http://rokdrop.com) - #115,209

A Geek in Korea (http://blog.torgodevil.com/) - #2,226,974

Doing it Korean Style (http://hookingupinhanguk.tumblr.com/) - #163 [tumblr.com, not specifically her blog]

Paul Ajosshi (http://ajosshi.blogspot.com/) - #3,007,298

The Chosun Bimbo (http://stafford.squarespace.com/) - #2,481 [squarespace.com, not specifically his blog].

Hermit Hideaways (http://hermithideaways.com/) - #2,491,852 [doesn't include how many readers he may have on cnngo.com, however...]

For reference / control purposes, these are a few other Korea-related websites Alexa-ranked on the same date:

Korea Times (http://koreatimes.co.kr) - #9,330

Korea Herald (http://koreaherald.co.kr) - #19,515

Hankyoreh (http://english.hani.co.kr) - #6,204 [probably includes readers reading all languages - just a guess]

Yonhap (http://english.yonhapnews.co.kr) - #15,598

Groove Magazine (http://groovekorea.com) - #3,025,933

10 Magazine (http://10magazine.asia) - #278,031

Seoulstyle (http://seoulstyle.com) - #302,818

Korean News Feeds (http://koreannewsfeeds.com) - #516,844

ESL Cafe (http://eslcafe.com) - #9,248

Korea4Expats (http://korea4expats.com) - #123,548

Chatjip (http://chatjip.com) - #928,571

Hub of Sparkle (http://www.koreasparkle.com/) - #1,351,573

So what are we to make of all these rankings, outside of a rough correlation between percentages received and popularity for the valid data points? Getting your readers to a given site to vote for a given blog is much more a popularity contest than an indication of which one is 'best'. Having an emotional connection with them - and actively promoting the voting ritual - is certainly helpful as well. If you're writing good stuff and people are reading it, that helps things along as well.

So what do you think? If you have another idea for analysis - or if you want to throw your Alexa ranking out there - comments are open. Play nice.

© Chris Backe - 2010

This post was originally published on my blog, Chris in South Korea. If you are reading this on another website and there is no linkback or credit given, you are reading an UNAUTHORIZED FEED.

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Oneweirdglobe.com

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New hagwon offering everything parents want

It sounds like a parents dream: a chain of hagwon deeply interested in everything parents want.

"Of course we're a school," Kim Jun Hwa, the founder of English Power Worldwide (EPW) Academy. "EPW was founded on providing exactly what the parents want - nothing more, nothing less. In fact, another meaning of EPW is Everything Parents Want. If they want it, we do it."

The popular hagwon chain currently has 191 branches open across Korea, with 129 of them across Seoul. "We've initiated a plan to have 1,000 branches open by the beginning of 2012. So what if the Mayans think it's the end of the world? Our world is just starting," says Kim.

Much like other hagwon, or private schooling, the academies offer a variety of classes, but the main focus is on learning English and using it in daily conversation. To that end, EPW has developed an unusual schedule.

"We expect the kids at our academy at 8am. We'll keep them here until 6pm. That's just the kindergartners - for the elementary schoolers, the program goes until 10pm. It doesn't matter whether it's the best educational purpose - it's what parents want."

Apparently, parents have initiated some unusual requests. "They've requested that our foreign teachers wear name tags - apparently they think that foreigners just wander off the Korean streets to take Korean kids from the school. Also, they've asked that fat foreigners be required to enroll in an exercise program to keep them skinny. Because that's totally relevant to teaching kids, you know."

When asked about their foreign teachers at their schools, Kim responded: "What about them? They do whatever we tell them to do. We control the apartment they live in, their legal right to live in Korea, and their job prospects! Besides, it's not like they're real teachers - we don't pay enough to attract the licensed and qualified teachers the parents think we employ. As long as their foreign faces keep attracting parents money, they're good for us."

Since parents are the ones fronting the money for this type of private education, schools are obligated to keep them happy. "At EPW, we give tests daily, but all of our students get A's. We employ several dozen people to call parents hourly - not weekly or monthly like other hagwon! - to let them know what their child has learned. At the rate some of these six-year olds go, they'll be ready for Quantum Mechanics in about [looks at watch] two weeks!"

When this reporter asked how much a child can actually learn in one hour, Kim responded with a sly, "how much do you want them to learn? We'll tell you they've learned more. So what if they can't actually form a correct English sentence after six years at our school? You'll feel great after bragging to other parents!"

This post is completely satirical. Any similiarities to actual people or businesses is accidental and completely unintended, though it would be kinda scary.

Scorsese Fans Shudder in Anticipation

SHUTTER ISLAND

Directed by: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley

Release Date: March 18 (in theatres everywhere)

Best known for his mafia movies, Martin Scorsese has nevertheless explored a variety of genres throughout his long filmmaking career. In his latest release, “Shutter Island,” about a U.S. Marshal investigating the disappearance of one of the inmates from the titular insane asylum, he tries his hand at the psychological thriller. Though this isn’t his area of expertise, I’m anticipating its release tomorrow, if for no other reason than it gives me something to watch during the post-Oscar, pre-Cannes cinematic dry spell.

Learning Korean and Life in Korea

Last night I came home from work stressed. I had another day full of classes where I fear very little learning is going on due to my co-teacher's refusal to deviate from the textbook or even stick to using English. I had a French class at 8 that I couldn't find the article I was supposed to have prepared and a Korean class at 9 that I hadn't been able to figure out the make up lesson for (was far too sick last week to venture out of my apartment Tuesday night). Not to mention I made the ridiculously awful decision to wear my super cute platform wedges (2 inch heel, nothing major but black patent leather fabulousness) to school and finished the day with very sore ankles despite my ankle brace wearing. My own fault but it still was not pretty to see my hobbling around my apartment.

Solutions:
1. Text French tutor and ask to re-email the article. (5pm isn't last minute at ALL.)
2. Take ibuprofen, put on comfy flats.
3. Decide to go to Korean class early rather than take a 10 minute break to interrogate my teacher on the proper placement of the object in question formation.
4. Take deep breaths and eat some Oreos.

Really Oreos and Ritz crackers make me feel much better. I had bacon and Ritz again for dinner and it was FABULOUS. I might actually gain back the 3 kilos I've been desperately trying for the past few months. Don't worry, I ate extra veggies at lunch to balance the lack at dinner.

Everything ended up going well and there wasn't a pop quiz in Korean class which means I didn't horribly embarrass myself (not that anyone but me would have cared). We started learning about the past tense so that we can write diary entries and I got stupidly excited and giddy about it. Nothing is sexier than learning the past tense...except for maybe learning the future tense. Not to mention, I maintain that being allowed to have a beer during class is fantastic.

In the end, my day finished on a good note. Let's see how my dinner with the co-workers goes tonight. I just LOVE sitting in silence for 2 hours broken occasionally by comments about how well I use chopsticks, the weather and if I'm really lucky, my lack of marriage and babies!

Tuesday Night Motion

Oh, this poor blog feels like a neglected child, locked in a dingy room with a stained mattress, waiting for CPS to come take it away.

Ah hell, it gets like this sometime.

I've been back in Busan for a couple of weeks now and am back in the swing of things, as it were. My current work schedule is a ball bustin' bitch, in that I come in at 9 in the morning and don't leave until 8:30 on some nights. Some brilliant mind within the administration had the stellar idea of giving most of us split shifts this semester, forcing others and me to spend much of our time futzing around the office in between classes. I'm not really complaining, since my big ass nap-couch provides a much needed solace, and the fact that I have to be there early cuts my rampant alcohol abuse down at night. I also have several hours free each afternoon, allowing me to hit the Korean books and grind out my current writing project, which, after an intitial start and stall is back in motion.

It's been a hectic time, full of fun and drama. I currently have a visitor - an old friend - which is at once strange and wonderful and maddening. Whereas there was no way to play this card without stepping on some toes, I fear I did it poorly and feel like a bit of a shitbag because of it. I don't want to hurt anyone, but sometimes I can be a self-absorbed tit who doesn't fully take others' feelings into account. I don't want to go into details on this, but I often want the best of both worlds, even when these are mutually exclusive... This is a good recipe for an in-your-face exploding bomb.

The band's back in action, which is nice. We have a stockpile of rockin' originals, along with some cool covers (AC/DC!!!), and if our last gig on Saturday is any indication, we indeed have a smokin' combo. We play a St. Paddy's Day party tomorrrow, along with a Haiti benefit on Friday, followed by more gigs this month. Things are hot around here in that there are no shortages of places for a rock band to play, and club owners are even beginning to take care of the talent, or lack thereof in some cases. I'm also playing solo a lot more, which I like because I get to be the center of ALL attention, something that has never bothered me, as far as I can remember.

So... life is good and life is complicated. I do need to get more exercise, as I fear I'm turning into a fat bastard, but with my schedule right now I find it hard to slate in a decent, regular workout. The best I can do presently is to walk as much as possible, which I'm generally good about. Maybe a few less gallons of beer a week may keep the distended gut at bay, as well. That and more kimchi, which cures everything, even looming obesity, no?

In the meantime I'll keep writing words and writing songs and performing my little showbizzy heart away.

As James Brown famously screamed: Hit me!!!

Up in my lonely room when I'm dreaming of you, and you, and you...

Dear Vince,

I'm still not entirely sure how we met you or your little Zac Efron friend as the details of how Saturday night became Sunday morning are still a little hazy...

... but you really should have known we were trouble from the moment you saw us ..

... but you liked us anyway...

... and brought us all home ...

.... and it was fun ...

.. and I think we're all a little sorry about that thing with the cops and your neighbours, or if we insulted one of your tall lady friends ... But I can’t say I’m all that sorry about lounging around your room all day with my friends. You might have climbed a mountain that day, but I think you missed out on all the fun.