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Junam Wetlands

Friday 1st April, 2011

I cannot believe the month of March is over. Completely gone! How time just flies! Yesterday was spent just being lazy around the hotel, but today Jenny and I are going to the Junam wetlands. It's about a 15 minute cab ride and is the home to a variety of native birds and wildlife such as water snakes, squirrels and small leopard cats.

It was easy enough to get there, although I got the reception girl to write the Junam Wetlands in Korean. One thing I've noticed is that although English words are common just like Korean words are, the locals just don't understand it. Even if you pronounce the word correctly, they still give you a blank look. You've almost got to enforce an accent onto every word. For example, the store- Home Plus. Quite easy isn't it? Not to the Koreans!!! You have to pronounce it as- Hom-er-Plus. Go figure...

Anyway, so I had Junam Wetlands written for us in Korean and I showed it to the cab driver and pointed to it on the map. He still looked abit confused but starts up the car anyway and off we go! I start feeling more confident about where we're going when I start seeing road signs directing us towards the wetlands.

He gets us there safely and it only cost us about W13,000. We climbed out of the cab and walk over to the information centre. Inside, they had an interactive learning section and a kids room. It was full of information of what you'll see at the reservoir and what birds to look out for and the best ways to bird watch. I liked the fact the information was both written in Korean and English. FYI if you ever intend of visiting the centre, there's a few things you should take note of:

1. Although it's a main tourist attraction, the staff speak little or no English- It was very broken English and they go to lunch between 12:00pm and 13:00pm. Between these hours the information centre is open, but there is noone there to assist you.

2. Plan your departure transport. On weekdays, there is no public transport from the Junam Wetlands. You will have to walk back to the main road and wait for a bus. The bus eventually does turn up and luckily it took us back to the Changwon Train Station. There is a bus that comes on Sundays, which will take you to and from the Wetlands.

There was a 9km walk we could do, but we thought it was way too long. I really liked where the Wetlands were located. It was rural Korea and there was alot of farmland and workers harvesting. It is spring here at the moment and it's so beautiful seeing everything blossoming!
farmland

farmland

view from the wetlands

view from the wetlands

view from the wetlands

view from the wetlands

Jenny and I walked the boardwalk and stopped to take in the view. The wetlands are very tranquil and is a lovely location if you want to get away from the noisey city. It was quite foggy and there weren't that many birds about, but we did see a few nests along the walkway. You could here the little birds chirping and moving about their nests. Very cute!

Wetlands view

Wetlands view

so tranquil....

so tranquil....

peaceful...

peaceful...


a ball of nest

a ball of nest


Jenny and I stayed for about 2 hours. It was a very hot day. So hot, that I was wearing a t-shirt. That is a first for my for South Korea. It felt great feeling the sun on my skin. We walked back to the information centre to see if they could tell us where we'd be able to catch a cab from. As per my FYI above, this is when we found out that the staff members were at lunch. We also realised that we had not seen one cab come into the wetlands the entire time we were there, so I don't think they come out here often. We had reached our first dilmena here in South Korea. How do we get out?! We felt stranded. Although I told Daniel where we'd be, it would be nightfall by the time he'd realise I wasn't home. I didn't have a phone on me, or my Korean phrase book on me and we definately couldn't speak any Korean. It was now after 12.00pm, so we figured we would walk up to the main road and along the way, we would attempt to hitch hike. Now I remember telling my mum before I left, that I would never do things here in Korea that I wouldn't do at home. And so here I was with Jenny hitch hiking. It was sort of our last resort! As we stuck out our arm and poked our thumbs up, cars just kept passing us, they even drove onto the side lane to avoid us. What was wrong with them?! Don't they want to help two stranded foreign women??? Apparently not.
Jenny hitch hiking

Jenny hitch hiking

After our failed attempt at hitch hiking, we finally reached the bus stop and tried to read the timetable and bus route. Nothing. It was all in Korean. Dammit! We decided to just catch the first bus that came our way. We had to get out of here! I kept thinking to myself... what if were stuck here?! eventually it would start to get colder... we had no food, a half bottle of water.....It was the first time in Korea that I was worried. We had no way of contacting anyone. Even if we could get to a phone booth, we didn't know anyones phone number.

As we sat at the bus stop, we saw several buses stop. But they were all going in the opposite direction. We knew a bus had to stop at our stop at some stage, so we waited..... and waited.....

Around 20 minutes later, in the distance, we could see a green vehicle moving coming towards us, as we squinted our eyes, we jumped up and waved our hands madly at it. It was a BUS!!! our ticket out of the Wetlands!!! woohoooo!!!! Ohhhh it was the best feeling ever. We were saved!! The bus pulled over and we jumped in. Surprisingly, it was full! All the seats were taken, except one, so as Jenny sat down I stood just in front of her. When we got on the bus, I couldn't see the paying machine, so I assumed the system was like in Japan, where you pay for your bus ride as you get off at your stop, but a few minutes into the ride, the bus driver started shouting at me and motioning for me to come over. There was an empty seat next to him, so I thought 'ohhh how nice, he's offering me the seat...' NOPE! how wrong was I. He was shouting at me to PAY! lol. I was pretty embarrassed and kept saying 'ohhh sorry, sorry' in English. I should probably learn how to say sorry in Korean. I say it often enough. Our fee was W950 (95 cents each) and after paying it, I went back to my standing spot.

A few minutes into the ride, we started seeing civilisation. We were back in town and it was a great feeling. I started noticing buildings that I remembered seeing on the way in, so I knew we were well and truly on our way home. The bus eventually pulled up at the Changwon Train Station. We didn't know this was our stop, until two lovely young Korean girls tapped us on our shoulders and said to us 'last stop'. Ahh we thought. Ok. We had reached the end of the line. As we stepped off the bus, the same two Korean girls waved us goodbye and gave us little Hershey Chocolates. As though it was some sort of reward for making it to the train station. It was the funniest thing ever, as Jenny and I were just in awe that we'd made it back to town and we're now being rewarded a prize for it.

Our bus, what a lifesaver!

Our bus, what a lifesaver!

The Changwon Train Station

The Changwon Train Station

our delicious Paris Baguette lunch

our delicious Paris Baguette lunch


As we made our way to the pedestrian crossing, we spotted a Paris Baguette store and went in to have lunch. It was so good to get some food in our bellies, especially after our little freak out. We were now on the otherside of Changwon, so we decided to walk home as we could explore the streets this way. The footpath was lined with Cherry Blossom trees. It was so beautiful and gave an insight into how lovely spring is in Korea with all the flourishing flowers. We laughed all the way back home about our adventures. I don't think we'll be going back there any time soon!
x
cherry blossoms lining the streets..

cherry blossoms lining the streets..

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Progress Report

It's been a shade over two months since I got to Korea and it's high time that I give everybody back home (and around the world) an update on how life in Korea has been treating me this time around. Despite having near two years of experience with this confusing and sometimes frustrating corner of the world, Korea has managed to dish up plenty of fresh challenges for me in my third stint in the land of the morning calm.

 

The School

My new school has been vastly different to anything I experienced during my two years in Gwangju. The hogwan (private academy) gig has often been a lauded as the 'lazier' of the two options, with less attention paid to what you're teaching and how you're teaching it. While it's true I dealt with nosy co-teachers at my first job and a more rigorous documentation of my lesson plans at the second, I've never been under the same level of intense security I 'enjoy' at my current gig. Teachers peering through windows to be sure I'm teaching, constant harassment over whether I've assigned the correct homework, and an anal level of reliance on poorly written and worded teacher's manuals have dogged my every day. I arrive for work two hours early for preparation time and, with no sign of the fifty minute break I am promised in my contract, I've started just disappearing for fifty minutes of this time to soak up free WiFi at Tom & Toms while eating a deliciously unhealthy stuffed pretzel.

 

Farewelling one of my favorite classes from my old school in late 2009

 

Class wise - I teach six fifty minute classes a day with a five minute break between each. My youngest students are a foursome of eight and nine year olds with little to no experience with English, and my oldest class is a pair of sixteen year old girls who spend the majority of our class together alternating between texting friends on their phones and asking me about my romantic life and my travels. It's actually a fun class when I can get them to put their phones aside for a few minutes. My worst classes are comprised of bratty early teen boys who think they're hilarious and who I can't really discipline due to my school being populated entirely by women who are marginally more intimidating than the prospect of being made to write fifty lines for homework.

 

My experience here has largely been one of miscommunication and frustration. Little things that never came up at previous jobs seem to have gone from molehills to mountains in record time here. Having been left in charge of organizing my alien card (necessary for things such as insurance, having a phone in my name, and internet connection) - I decided to do it at my leisure. I already had a phone and an active internet connection, and so when my boss started to nag me about it I assured her it was 'under control' and assumed she'd leave it. Cue a dozen frantic texts and missed calls one Monday morning that forced me out of bed and off to immigration. When my boss found out I was only now handing in my paperwork she was furious - accused me of deliberately deceiving her and the like. Maybe I did - but when you hand all of your responsibilities off to somebody to do in their free time - you accept that they will do it when they are ready. If she had wanted it done by a certain time - she could have organized it herself or she could have allowed me to do it in my excess preparation time.

 

Other little things have caused issue. I toy with my iPhone during quiet moments of prep time and that has been frowned upon. I am charged with marking reams of homework in subjects I am not employed to teach (Math being a particular qualm of mine) and then dragged over coals if there are any mistakes at all. I've taken to keeping homework for an inordinate amount of time, marking it over the course of a fortnight, and handing it back to them when I am 100% sure it's done).

 

All told - I dislike my work environment. The kids are great and the majority of them love me, but being the sole male and the sole Westerner in my workplace basically means I get to spend my days either in silence or engaging in conversations with students. Attempting to make small talk with the trio of women I share an office with varies from attempting to pull teeth to halting conversations that never really satisfy. I prefer to just work in quiet now.

 

The City

Work might suck, but I love Busan. Gwangju will always hold a very special place in my heart - but there's a lot to be loved about Korea's second largest city. My last entry was about the spectacular Gwangalli Beach region and with spring finally hitting us here on the peninsula, my visits to areas like Gwangalli and Haeundae are only going to increase in frequency. There's the promise of camping trips on islands such as Bigeumdo and Oaedaldo on the horizon as well. I live for the beach.

Byron (from Byron and His Backpacks) and I rocking the Velvet Underground

 

The night life here is something else. Where Gwangju has a half dozen night spots, most of which are crammed together in the downtown area, Busan has four distinct night life regions that are worthy of merit. The nearest to me is Seomyeon which boasts bars such as Thursday Party and Metal City; PNU boasts a more Korean night life due to its promimity to the university; Haeundae has the beach and foreigner haunts such as The Wolfhound, Sharkies, Geckos, and Rock & Roll Bar; and KSU (my personal favorite) boasts Eva's, Ol' 55, Vinyl Underground, Thursday Party, HQ, and the always sleazy Kino Eye. I'll do a more in depth on Busan's bar scene in the not too distant future.

 

Being idiots at Metal City. Not very metal.

I've managed to get a casual game of Dungeons & Dragons going on a fortnightly basis; gotten in touch with some theatrically minded people about doing some productions; joined a book club that inexplicably doubles as a knitting club; gotten back into work on my novel; and met a swathe of cool new people and groovy characters that I'm sure will grace these pages again sometime soon.

 

The Girl

And there's a girl! My old friends Liz and CJ (who tied the knot in Vegas last year) messaged me shortly after I returned to Korea to inform me they were 'sending me a girl' - the best friend of CJ's sister. I agreed to help her settle in and things kind of went from there. This isn't the venue for a blow by blow of our relationship or how it came to be, but suffice to say I got to play knight in shining armor a few times for a damsel in distress and now we're as official as two people can get - Facebook official. She's even a blogger! You can check out her amusing tales here at Travels with Kimberly.

Pretty girl. Ugly suit.

 

We're off to a Cherry Blossom Festival in Jinhae this weekend and two weeks later we'll be doing some sight-seeing in Seoul as my parents are in the country as a part of a cultural scholarship they won. Beyond that there's a 10k I'll be running in May; the infamous Mud Festival in July; the Jeju half marathon around the same time; and a whole swag of other exciting trips in the future.

 

I'm contemplating visiting Beijing in my summer vacation, and a Japanese junket is not out of the question for when Korean Thanksgiving rolls around. Here's hoping Tokyo Disney is still in one piece after the recent tragic events in the region.

 

My Philippines scuba trip is still on the cards for the New Year and there's day-dreaming about a six week tour of Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, and Bali sometime next year if money allows. Exciting times and hopefully that will make for exciting reading!

Got a burning question that you can't fit into one comment? Need to contact me for a travel tip? Feeling generous and want to donate $1,000,000 to my travel fund? Want me to visit your town and tell the world about it?

 

For all of the above reasons and many more, here are my contact details.

  • Skype: CWBush83
  • Twitter: CWBush
  • MSN: CWBush83 (at) hotmail.com
  • Email: CWBush83 (at) gmail.com

 

Korean Nationalism: When the world was Korean

I've always been fascinated by the creativity and poetry of nationalist movements. Some nationalist movements managed to rewrite or just completely invent mythologies, traditions and tales that are now fully part of their nation's culture. Korean nationalists of the 19th century did an incredible job of interpreting and arranging the country's history and its creation myths, something I hope to be able to write on in the near future.
Korea's nationalism is still strong today, and some extreme nationalists have pretty far-fetched theories about the origins and forgotten history of the Korean people. The theories exposed below are in no way representative of the general opinion of Koreans on their history. They are the work of a minority of what could be taken for Internet trolls, if only they didn't seem so serious about their claims.

Exhibit 1 : 환국 (Hwan-guk)


The supposed extent of the Hwanguk empire

This picture had the following legend on the blog where I found it: "Korean territory. I've looked it up on the internet and it's true."

The story of Hwan-guk  is based on a pseudo-historical book written in the 20th century: the Hwandan Gogi (환단고기 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hwandan_Gogi) which relates the mythical origins of Korea. Hwan-guk was supposed to be a confederacy of 12 states, spanning 160 million square kilometers and lasting for over 3000 years. The theory is that the Korean race originated from Central Asia and conquered a territory which looks like the Mongol empire. The country was governed by Hwan-In. In the Samguk-Yusa, an old and widely studied historical record of Korea, Hwan-in was the grandfather of the mythical Joseon founder Dangun. Proponent of the Hwan-guk theory says that some versions of the Samguk-Yusa write Hwan-guk instead of Hwan-in (guk meaning country) and that this is the proof that the people who founded Korea descended from the old Hwan-guk empire. 

Here are some artistic depictions of Hwan-ins which I believe are taken from a popular book about the Hwan-guk theory. Notice the "Native American" look of several of them, this is because proponent of the Hwan-guk theory like to believe that America was originally populated by people who migrated from Korea.


The most popular theory about Hwanguk is summarized in this video in Korean:


A partial translation of what is said in the video can be found here and here
You'll learn for example that "There is a country called Sumiliguk. Some claim that Sumiliguk is the old Sumer civilization. According to this declaration, people of Sumer who has built up the Mesopotamia civilization are ethnic ancestors of Korea."
To further prove this link between ancient Sumer and Korea, several blogs I found also have a list of Ancient Sumerian words closely resembling modern Korean words. For example:

 아비 (Abi) 아버지 (aboji = dad)
 움마 (Uhma) 엄마 (eomma = mom)
 바드 (Bad) 밭 田 (bat = field)
 안(An) 하늘 天 (haneul = sky)


This one had the following legend : "I did not get this map from a Korean book but from a History of ancient Asia written by a foreigner."





Another map showing how ancestors of Korean supposedly migrated across Asia and to the Americas



Exhibit 2 : Korea's conquest of a bunch of places randomly scattered around the world


This map shows how various places around the world were once Korean. One theory explains for example that the English Essex county is actually a deformation of Ui-San itself a deformation of Woo-San, the name of an old Korean kingdom. 


The people who believe in Hwanguk, or more generally in any form of Korean hegemony are sometimes referred to as 환빠 (Hwanbba) on history bulletin boards. Their detractors are 환까 (Hwankka). The theories about other places of the world, especially the Americas, having been conquered or populated by Koreans are many.




Other theories based on "linguistic evidence" attempt to show links between Korea and the New World.

According to Pr. Son Seong-tae of PaiChai University in Daejon, many words of Nahuatl and Quechua in the New world can be traced back to Korean because the structure is similar and some words sound the same, such as 날 (nal/day) = nal, 오다 (oda/to come) = wala, 가다 (gada/to go) = ga, 여기 (yeogi/here) = ye, etc...

offers more explanations such as the fact that Niagara would be a compound word based on the Korean words 나이 nai (넷 naet, four) +가람 galam (강 kang, river).


These theories are wrong on so many levels I dare not even enter into too much detail. The first migration to the Americas, if it did indeed come from Central Asia occured much before the supposed time of Hwanguk, during the Late Glacial Maximum or even earlier according to the controversial, yet still interesting (and much more scientific) Solutrean Hypothesis. There is no evidence linking Korean to Sumerian and comparing words used in Korea in the 21st century to words from a language that went extinct more than 3000 years ago is pretty much against all linguistic common sense. But once again I guess this is not the point here.

In one now forgotten work (Kina och Japan - China and Japan, only 350 exemplars were published in Stockholm by the Lagerstrom brothers in 1911), the famous Swedish playwright August Strindberg (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/August_Strindberg) once tried to prove that the name  for Japan came from Jaffa in Palestine, that lama in tibetan came from imam in arabic, that some Chinese characters came from Greek letters, that the "king" of Peking came from the hebrew "chun" meaning city, which in turn became "kanan" in greek and "cingo" in latin. One French reviewer called Strindberg's work "childish" and "of no interest for sinology". His theories are still somehow strangely poetic, just like the Hwanguk theories are still interesting despite their lack of scientific value. 



 

Do I Need to Have Teaching Experience To Teach In Korea?

If you’ve done any searching for teaching jobs in Korea, you’ve probably seen a lot of postings that say, “No Experience Required!” Sounds too good to be true right? It’s not. The truth is that, while teaching experience is always a valuable asset, most of the time it is not a requirement.

Will I Be Able To Get a Good Job in Korea Without Experience?

While the job market is certainly tougher than it has been in the past, it is still entirely possible to land a good teaching job in Korea without experience. In fact, the large majority of ESL teachers in Korea did not have any professional teaching experience when they got their jobs. The keys to standing out as an applicant (in a good way!) will be in how well you present yourself in your resume and interviews, and whether you are on top of gathering your visa documents. So, if you are a native English speaker with a bachelor’s degree, you probably already have all the qualifications you need to begin your job hunt (check out our list of qualifications for teaching English in Korea).

Tea and Translation: A Catholic Monk in Korea.

Journey into the world of tea and you'll soon find yourself bumping into monks of all creeds and colors. One of my first experiences in the tea world here in Busan was with a Monk BabSan of Beomosa. On a few occasions we'd have tea: a green tea followed by a lighter flower tea as was his custom. Yet, here is another monk, of whom I have yet to make acquaintance.
I ran into this particular monks website earlier this morning as I was researching an old poetic treatise on tea called the 동다송(東茶頌) Dong-da Song (more on that later...).

The Catholic monks of Taize are known for their choral style chanting well, this particular monk of Taize is known for his tea and translation. Brother Anthony, otherwise known as An Sonjae in Korean, has lived in Seoul for over 29 years and has written two books on Korean tea. His website has a most informative section on tea. If you google "An Sonjae" you'll find several articles by him or on him. He has been a very active member in Koreas poetic and tea circles.

About the Author

Matthew William Thivierge has abandoned his PhD studies in Shakespeare and is now currently almost half-way through becoming a tea-master (Japanese,Korean & Chinese tea ceremony). He is a part time Ninjologist with some Jagaek studies (Korean 'ninja') and on occasion views the carrying on of pirates from his balcony mounted telescope.

Blogs
About Tea Busan  *   Mr.T's Chanoyu てさん 茶の湯   *  East Sea Scrolls  *  East Orient Steampunk Society

Sale n Pepe – Italian restaurant in PNU - Busan Awesome

Location: 

http://busan.cityawesome.com

Like the BusanAwesome Facebook page!

sale n pepe italian restaurant in pnu's front signSo there I am in PNU, starving, possibly about to eat my own arm. My friends are getting restless too. We were at a Lotte Giants game, and afterwards went to PNU for some shopping. However, we made the mistake of putting off our meal until now, and the situation has become dire.

One of us knows about a place that he heard about. “I think it’s this way,” he says, completely unsure of himself. Another one of my friends hisses at him. We don’t have time to wander.

“Okay everyone, look up for a restaurant!” someone says. I’m not sure who, and I’m in no state to question. I look up and some obscure sushi place is right in front of me. The pictures feature lumps of rice smothered in mayo. It looks disgusting; I start dry heaving right there.

“Pizza! Pasta!” someone else yells. Again I don’t know who is yelling (maybe my fiance?). I’m blinded by hunger by this point, so I just walk in the general direction of the voice and feel a group of people: my friends, hopefully. We shuffle into the door and go up the stairs to the main seating area of the place and sit down. Bread and butter is put in front of us, and I shove it in my mouth. My eyesight is partially restored. It’s interesting bread: warm and blue (you know, like the corn chips) and delicious.

Now that my senses have come back to me, I look around. We’re in a restaurant called Sale n Pepe, and it’s an Italian restaurant. The interior is industrial-chic, with polished concrete floors and ceilings, painted brick walls and hanging lighting fixtures. It’s comfortable at the same time, though, with padded benches and chairs.

The menu has titles in English, but the descriptions are all in Korean, so some of what you get will be a mystery (surprise: mussels!). They have a good range of pasta dishes that you’ve heard of (classic cream spaghetti) and some you might haven’t (Shanghai style spaghetti?). All the pasta that we ordered was spaghetti, so I question if they have anything else. Pizzas are excellent, especially the gorgonzola (8,000) and the four-cheese (11,000). Pasta dishes range from 9 – 11,000 as well. One thing that I appreciated was the presentation of the food. The pasta is served in a small tin frying pan, handle and all, which was pretty cool.

Location-wise, as I mentioned before, it’s right in the shopping area outside the subway, a block over from the Starbucks. Having been to a few restaurants immediately around the shopping area, I can say that this is probably the best one in terms of quality that you’ll find.

Directions: PNU metro exit 1. Walk straight out 1.5 blocks. You’ll see Sale n Pepe on the second floor on your right.


http://busan.cityawesome.com



View BUSAN! AWESOME! in a larger map

Friday Collision

I’m in the middle of my third period fifth grade class, partially pretending to check some of my students’ review assignments and partially day dreaming about what I will do after I get off of work. For the first time in months, all the windows in the classroom are open and I’m not royally pissed about it. The midday weather is gorgeous and the breeze that’s coming in isn’t freezing for once.

As I’m still daydreaming, my co-teacher begins to explain the art project we will be working on for the remainder of class and I poke my head out the window just in time to notice a bus jump the curb and smash into a light post on the street in front of the school. I’m so surprised that the words “holy fuck” almost slip from my lips.

After the kids begin working on their projects I tell my co-teacher about the accident and we both stare out the window at the scene trying to dissect what happened. The light pole that the bus ran into is completely bent sideways and resting in the branches of a nearby cherry blossom tree

“I didn’t see any other vehicle hit the bus before it crashed into the pole.”
“Maybe the driver was drunk.”
“I wonder if something malfunctioned on the bus.”
“He was probably talking on his handphone.”

She returns to her desk and starts explaining the next instructions for the art project to the kids while at the same time grabbing for her camera and motioning for me to gt some shots of the action unfolding outside. By now an ambulance, two squad cars and another bus have arrived. The passengers are taken away while the driver stays to talk with the police.

It’s exciting because this is the second time this week (and really since I’ve been in Korea) that I’m seeing police doing actual police work.

Last Tuesday while out for dinner with some friends, I saw the police arresting what looked like a drunken teenager after he had crashed his fancy Hyundai into another car. They even had him handcuffed. I didn’t even know Koren cops carried handcuffs. Actually, up until then I didn’t think Korean cops did much beyond walking down the block in droves of 10-15 men intimidating everyone in their path (ajummas and grade schoolers included).

I snap a few shots of the accident and chuckle at how excited my co-teacher is about it, despite the horrible picture quality.  Neither of us really cared if anyone was hurt in the collision. It seems we were both open to any and all distractions to help get through our Friday classes. Do I dare say that we actually bonded over someone else’s misfortune?

At lunch she tells me that she posted the photos I took of the crash (I have no clue where) and that most of the people who looked at them were worried that someone might have gotten injured.

“Am I a crazy person for not caring?” she asks.

I grin and shake my head.

Like me,  she’s not crazy; just generally interested in other peoples’ fuck-ups.

Ciao,

Kimchi Dreadlocks


Busan e-FM Week 4: Social Responsibilities

About 'Open Mike in Busan'


Introduction

In the previous week at Busan e-FM, I talked about a few experiences I’d had living with my Korean parents-in-law. This week, I thought I’d expand on that, and talk about some of my experiences with families, and family responsibilities.

There can be a lot of social responsibilities in Korea

And I really wasn’t prepared for that. I work for myself and I like doing my own thing. So plugging myself into a society where I suddenly have a lot of formalised family obligations, and social responsibilities – well that’s difficult for me. Having said that, maybe a lot of foreigners living in Korea are the same, because I think if you really fit in well with your own society, what are you doing in Korea? But then it often seems to me that the type of foreigners who end up living here are exactly the type of people who really shouldn’t be living in a more socially ordered country like this.

So it’s true that I’ve experienced some serious culture clashes. Sometimes it’s little things. For example, when we first came to Korea my wife told me that we had to go to Namhae to visit her father’s parents to give them a ‘big bow’. The idea of travelling for an entire day, just to go and do the required ‘big bow’, in a place that sounded rather rural and remote, didn’t really appeal to me at all.

Big bows

I didn’t mind that as such, but back then I thought I was only going to be in Korea for a short period, and I still had my job to do, so I was racing against the clock to experience as much of Busan as possible, in what little free time I had. The idea of spending a day on a bus, just to bow in front of a couple of people because it was a form of social obligation – well it just made me wonder what else I’d have to do in Korea because other people demanded it.

Actually though, foreigners wrote about the ‘big bows’ last year on an Internet forum here in Korea, and I was shocked to learn that some of them actually refuse to do the ‘big bow’ - even to their parents-in-law. They say it’s dehumanising – demeaning. Well, I know I can be difficult sometimes, but maybe this means it’s nothing compared to some other foreigners.

So the grandparents got their ‘big bow’, and then there was a funeral

So I went to see my grandparents-in-law, and they got their big bow. And it’s just as well, because a few months later my wife’s grandmother died suddenly. Then of course, we had to go back for the funeral. That was when the whole family responsibility thing really shocked me, because it turns out that I’m sort of the eldest son of the eldest son, so I had to get involved and I ended up helping to carry the coffin.

There were a lot of rituals to go through – we were there for two days – and then there were more responsibilities afterwards, like going back for another ceremony on the 49th day after the death. My father-in-law had to move down to Namhae to help his father with the small farm he lives on, because apparently that was his responsibility, and that was a huge change – because it meant my mother-in-law was on her own then. So I really felt it was our responsibility to move in with her. Lots of things changed, and people didn’t seem to have a choice.

Do you take this country to be your lawfully wedded wife?

You know, I didn’t react so badly to all these sudden family responsibilities. I’d been here long enough by then to know that when you marry a Korean, you marry the culture, the traditions the attitude and of course, you definitely marry the family. But families are difficult things. I didn’t really agree to live with my brother-in-law, but he lost his job and came back home for a while. Each extra family member that lives with us feels like a bit more privacy and space lost for me, but what can you do?

I don’t talk with my brother-in-law, which is strange. He doesn’t speak any English, and I can’t really communicate in Korean. But the truth is, the job market isn’t good for him, so he hasn’t done much in the last year. If he spoke English we’d talk. Actually I’m a few years older than him so – according to my wife – if I were Korean I would have given him the talk by now, you know – get back up on your feet. It must be hard. He needs some sympathy and motivation, or maybe, in the Korean hierarchical system, he needs his older brother figure to put pressure on him.

The language barrier stops you living up to your social responsibilities

I can’t live up to my Korean social responsibilities because of the language barrier, but I’m not sorry about that. I don’t want to feel it’s my responsibility to kind of lecture people younger than myself.

Actually, he hasn’t visited his grandparents in a long time, and I couldn’t understand it until he said once “when will my job be good enough to visit them?” And that’s the problem isn’t it? It’s not only about showing respect fr your elders, but to go through that, you have to be happy with yourself first, because otherwise they are going to lecture you, and you feel bad enough as it is. To be honest, I understand that because I’ve got a similar problem with my Korean relatives – which is both job and language related.

But it doesn't stop you being on the receiving end of a lecture

There was a big family meal where I met some relatives for the first time. It didn’t start well because they demanded to look at my hands when we were introduced. Do you know what they said? “Soft”. In other words, I hadn’t worked hard enough in my life – I wasn’t one of them.

Then they criticised my lack of Korean language – I’d been here a year by that time - “it’s not good enough”, “you’re not working hard enough”, “this is typical of 미국 사람”, that sort of thing. Yes, I know I’m British, but in my experience, all 외국인 are Americans when we’re in trouble. My wife took this as long as she could, and then she turned to me and said “We’re leaving!” And I guess that was it – we stormed out.

And you can’t avoid them forever

Of course I have seen them since. You really can’t avoid it in Korea can you? But I’m used to family meals being a bit tense, because my family has a lot of differences between them – including religious differences. One of my aunts is a Buddhist fortune teller, and one of my uncles is a Christian pastor. They take their religion very seriously. Chuseok dinners can be... a little difficult. But people have to go because it’s their social obligation. Then again, I find responsibilities are everywhere in Korea, even with friends.

Social responsibility in friendship

We’d been out once in a group and several of us went back to a friend’s apartment for coffee. We ended up sitting in a circle playing this sort of number sequence game called Silent 007 – and if you make a mistake then you have to go into the centre of the circle to be beaten on the back.

We had this 9 year-old girl with us. So when she made a mistake... well, I wasn’t getting involved in hitting her – even if my wife called them ‘gentle poundings’ rather than ‘beatings’. So one of my friends really wasn’t happy about this, and he kind of told me off. “Everyone must take part in the beatings!” he said. And he really meant it. So you know, in the end, I really had to take part, even though I hated it. It was a social responsibility to participate – there was no choice.

Everyone must take part in the beatings

I’m not sure I’m learning to live with all these social responsibilities. As a Westerner – I’m not sure I’ll ever really get used to them. But I guess as long as I’m here, I have to remember what my friend said to me, and see it as good advice for living in Korea: “Everyone must take part in the beatings.”

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Air date: 2010-11-17 @ ~19:30

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