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My First REAL Review and Major Props to Scouser


Ok first tings first n dat...

p14 "Most regulars, like Liverpool Scouser...."
Thats like saying 'wet rain' or 'tiny-hung ajoshi' or 'nobhead manc'. Yer using the same word twice in effect.
But fuck dat. Heres the review...

Kiddas dis is a pheremone-ominal peace of work. Im in it twice. And not just dat, its a bang on account of expat life in SKorea and Asia in general, its the prodigal son, its Bukowski, its DIY - he published it himself, its sex n drugs n rock roll, its better than his dodgy blog, I know what hes on about, I know some of the people in it...all of 'em in fact tho' Ive never met most of 'em personaly, its not for being translated into Hangeul and given to ajoshi's, its an A-Z guide to life and teaching in SKorea for all newbie nobheads, its out before Showbiz's book, its just fuckin' hip, no holdin' back, the facts of life.

And luckily for youz lot...Im flogging a few copies here for the realheads in Blighty and Europe. So drop us yer details and for 15 green queens inc. post youz can have a copy. Come 'ed butanes ... its nearly chrimbo.
Thats a bit of cheese off.

Review in 5 words:
"...got a lot of action."
 

1 comments:

culturebook said...

that's a bit of cheese off is right. PETE TOWNSEND lives in our nightmarish grins.

Thank you. Many times. Thank you. David Bowie Sound and Vision never sounded so decadent.


Slower Traffic Keep Right and other Traffic Rules


1985 Cadillac El Dorado on Broadway in front of St. Peter's Church, formerly Little Italy

 Courtesy Honks

 This is a story about driving in LA.  First up, it is a ‘recognized the world over’ rule that SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEPS RIGHT and the LEFT LANE IS THE PASSING LANE, but you wouldn't know it driving in LA.  If you wanna move through LA traffic with alacrity you must drive in the right lane and snake around the seniors and out-of-towners. 

Bret Easton begins his landmark first novel Less Than Zero with a line about LA drivers not knowing how to MERGE.   Last week, I watched the second half of the film version of Less Than Zero starring Andrew McCarthy and Jami Gertz on the USA network, edited for content.  There is a scene in Less Than Zero where Jami Gertz and 3 other LA fashionably dressed college-aged girls, looking entirely 1980’s with big hair and all, are snorting cocaine in this posh night club’s restroom, and one chick's nose starts bleeding.  “Rusty pipes!”  She says. 

I realized that I'd never scene the movie Less Than Zero before in my life; and I read the book just once, the year it came out mid 80’s.  My sister bought the first edition hardcover, read it, passed it to me, I read it, and then all my close high school friends read the same copy over the next few months. Shellee, my LA friend circa 1983/84 told me that she ‘cried’ while she read Less Than Zero.

I immediately recognized that line, "Rusty Pipes!"  A coke snorting college chick in the film, Rules of Engagement says that same line; and Rules of Engagement is based on another Easton novel.  All my friends and family are fans of Easton's books and films based on his books.  Rules of Engagement, the film by Roger Avery (co-writer of Pulp Fiction), is a BRILLIANT film, not like any other film I've ever scene.  Great acting and camera work -- the backward rolls and split screens are awesome.  It’s a very landmark and under-appreciated film, by the director of Killing Zoe, another stellar flick, like Marty Feldman’s 1980’s film, IN GOD WE TRUST with Richard Pryor as God, and Andy Kaufman as the President.  Actually, that film was not too good, as Bubbleboy might say.

Just last week, my good friend and Bravofold member GB commented to me in an email, "I just re-read Less Than Zero,” he wrote, “and you reminded me of one of the characters."  ‘Which one?’  I immediately thought.  GB didn't specify.  I spoke to my friend Jo, also a Bravo-fold member, currently living on Cheju Island in SKorea, and told her what GB wrote.  "Which one?"  Jo asked me.  "I don't know!"  I replied.  If it's the Robert Downey Jr. character, then that worries me.  This summer, while visiting a Walmart in Chatsworth with my buddy St. Tommy, another Bravo-fold member, some homeless dude called me Robert Downey Jr.  And he called St. Tommy, ‘Owen Wilson’, which was funny, cuz I'd never seen it, but Saint does look like the blondish Wilson bros.  Which made me think, "Do I LOOK REALLY LIKE a DRUG ADDICT?"

I lived in Asia for nearly 14 years zigzagging my way in and out of oriental madness, only to return to the US of A and the drivers here are no better.  When I drive in right lanes, during non-peak hours when the right lane is not parking spaces, during rush hour when they are open lanes, I speed through, giving 'warning honks' along the way.

It's not rude.  It's merely in keeping with me openly communicating with drivers on the road, signaling people with a slight honk that I'm approaching, waving people in and signaling lane changes with my arm out the window, making eye contact and smiling with as many drivers as I can daily.
 

The Bravo Family, my family, in their/our entire 51 year history of living in America -- following their 1959 arrival in Miami, to my entry into the mix 9 years later and ending with us in the present day of 2010, still living in LA since the 60’s --  we Bravos have only ever owned a NEW CAR once; and that 1987 Silver Mercury Grand Marquis V8 sedan, we won in 1988, part of a promotional giveaway; pure luck! Or gift from the Almighty, depending on your POV. 

All my life, other than that Gift Merc, besides the Ford Torino station wagon my father drove in the 70’s; the only other Make/Model of cars that my father ever owned, until the Merc we won, was Fords. We drove a Ford Pinto Runabout, the famous ‘exploding model’ for several years, as well as another Pinto Squire, until my dad bought a used Ford Fairmont. That’s the Ford we owned when the Bravo’s won the Merc at that hotel in Santa Barbara, that weekend I visited LA from college in 1988, during the tail end of my first year in Berkeley. We drove home from Santa Barbara in a BRAND NEW CAR, the likes of which, the Bravos had never seen before!   

Personally, I’ve never bought or sold a single car from any Dealer or shop or non-family private party, in my entire life, new or used.  Yet, I’ve driven a car steadily since first getting my first drivers license in 1983.  Pure luck, or gift from the Almighty.

The only car I ever purchased in my life with my own money was a 1968 Sky Blue Ford Galaxie Coupe in 1992; and I bought that beauty from my Godmother’s husband for $275 dollars. 

4 years later, in 1996, Shaquille Oneal first came to the LA Lakers and Shaq also purchased a convertible 1968 Ford Galaxie Coupe upon arrival. 


Because Shaq was a semi media hound, out in LA from FLA, just like the early Bravo’s Maria and Jose, had come out to LA from Miami back in 1959.  Perhaps, had my parents stayed in Miami, I’d be ME now, but with a full on Dade County sense and OKAY with humidity. 

Shaq began his star studded NBA career in Orlando, FLA in 1992, had gone to the NBA finals in both 94&95, lost to The Dream and Spaceman and Will Smith and Mario Elly in Houston.  NOW, Shaq was in LA, like me, and driving the same Make/Model/Year car, only he had the convertible.
 

Shaq in his convertible Galaxie coupe was highly visible. The fact that Shaq drove a COUPE, a two door, as opposed to the SEDAN or four door model; made the 1968 Ford Galaxie coupe a very popular car.  I not only drove that same car, but 1968 is also the year I was born; and I like to attach meaning to otherwise meaningless coincidence. That’s what culture is all about.  Culture and superstition, and a whole lot of other things.

Cut the 2000’s. The Mercury died after 10 years faithful service. My mother bought, from her friend, a used 1985 metallic green Cadillac El Dorado, or Avocado El Dorado, as I sometimes call, er, called it. 

For the first decade of the 2000's, whenever I visited LA, I drove the Avocado El Dorado, pictured above in duplicate.   Avocado died in August.

Now I drive a newer Cadillac, a 1999 SRS with only 85,000 miles




1999 Cadillac SRS in front of the original Zankou Chicken Rest, which always makes me think of that song by Beck, Deborah -- I wouldn't do you like that.  Zankou Chicken

 

Part Deux to Follow
 


Friday afternoon *treat*

Last week was a long one. Mainly because it was our first week back after our wonderful holiday in Cambodia, and that meant back to business. Back to screaming kids, back to kids who couldn't care less about English, and back to kids who refuse to answer ANYTHING in class. But that's ok, that's what were here for right? Feeling very tired, stressed, and just plain pooped, i decided to head to the Leechard Pro Hair Salon for a bit of TLC...and they never disappoint. I was given a complimentary manicure (well they always come around to do your nails there... must be a special treat for foreigners...see images below), a complimentary hair treatment, cut,  style, hot chocolate and piece of yummy cake all for W12 000 (that's about $12/R60)....YAY!

So I can say that I am totally prepared to kick some butt today at school (yes, it's a Saturday, and I never work on Saturdays as all the other Korean teachers do, but I took last Monday off for Chuseok (and Cambodia!!!) and am now making up for it this morning). At least I get to go home at 10:30, after my 2 lessons.

 *The first pic is of my long nails~oh how I miss them! and the second one (the black polish) is how they were done yesterday at Leechard Pro...I had a little ceremony to honour my long nails, before i had to chop them all off as I have started climbing with Farmboy...but, it's definitely worth it!*


Off to school now, then to the Soccer at the World Cup Stadium here in Daejeon!


How Much Money Can I Save Teaching in Korea?

People who come to Korea to teach English tend to be serious about saving money and/or paying off debt.  And for good reason: Korea offers the most opportunities to make a lot and live on a little of any country hiring English teachers.  So how much exactly can you expect to save?

Income

Let’s look first at your earning potential.  Salaries for full time jobs usually fall between 2.1-2.5 million won.  We’ll use 2.3 million as a reference because that’s a very common salary (in fact it’s what Lindsey and I made our first year).  In addition to your salary, your net income will include two more payments:

  1. A contract-completion bonus equal to one month’s pay
  2. Your school’s contribution to your government pension fund (4.5% of your monthly salary)

So let’s add it all up:

Monthly salary x 12 27.6 million
Contract-completion bonus 2.3 million
Monthly pension contribution x 12 1.24 million
Total: 31.14 million

On top of this, almost all full-time contracts include free housing and round trip transportation.  Although these aren’t truly part of your income, they do bring us to the next element of saving money…

Expenses

Housing

Unless you get a part time job or choose a special program with an hourly pay rate, your housing in Korea will be free.  You will have to pay your own utilities, which vary depending on where you live.  We lived in a rather expensive building in downtown Seoul our first year, and our bill was about 150,000 won for everything.  We’ll use that for our calculations, but most people can expect to pay less.

Food

Eating out in Korea can be very cheap, especially if you like Korean food (we love it!).  Common restaurant meals range between 1,500 won for a roll of kimbab (“Korean sushi”, pictured) and 5,000 for a main dish like bulgogi (seasoned beef) and rice.  Cooking at home is even cheaper.  Staples like eggs, rice, and certain meats generally cost less than what you would pay back home: for example, eggs are 3,500 (≈$3USD) for a pack of 30 from the supermarket across the street from us.  In-season fruits and vegetables can be found at markets (and most likely from the guy with his pickup truck parked on your street) for incredibly low prices.  Our grocery bill is usually 50,000 a week combined.  Just for the sake of making a generous estimate, we’ll use this as our estimate for a single person.

The only way to really blow your budget on food in Korea is to eat out too often at foreign restaurants.  But basically, if keep your Outback Steak House visits to a minimum, your food expenses should be well under 300,000 won per month.

Transportation

One nice thing about having your housing set up by your employer is that you won’t have to commute to work.  Most people, though, will want to travel to different parts of the city a few times a week.  A half-hour ride on the Seoul Metro (typical from most parts of the city to downtown) costs 1,000 won (≈90¢USD).  Compare that to New York City’s flat rate of $2.25 or Tokyo’s 190 yen (≈$2.25) for the same ride!  Taxis start at 2,400 won and are generally about half as expensive as in NYC or Tokyo (rough estimate alert!).  Lindsey and I are pretty active–we ride the subway five-or-so times per week (round trip) and take a couple of cabs on the weekend.  All of this adds up to roughly 80,000 per month.

Health Insurance and Taxes

These expenses are automatically deducted from your paycheck.  Pension payments are deducted, too, but I haven’t included them here because you get them back in full at the end of the year (plus your employer’s matching payments!).  During my first year, I paid 30,000 won in taxes and 60,000 won for health insurance each month.

So How Much Can You Expect to Save?

The expenses we’ve added up so far come to 620,000, which subtracted from 2.3 million leaves 1.68 million of discretionary income each month.  How much of that you choose to spend on traveling, shopping, going out, etc. is of course up to you, but it is not too difficult to save at least 1 million from each paycheck.  Add to that your year-end bonus + pension payout of 3.5 million, and you should be able to save 15.5 million or more by the end of your contract.  To see what that means in your home currency today, check out the form below:

Any questions about saving money and/or paying off debt while working in Korea?  Post them in the comments below and I’ll be sure to reply.

Your Name Here

It's normal for Westerners to name their children once they are born - or even before. In fact, the traditional Catholic dogma of my upbringing almost demands it insofar as an unchristened babies are left in limbo, or at least they used to be until the infallible Church changed its mind three years ago. But leaving organised religion aside, it seems sensible that a baby should have a name, rather than simply being 'the baby' or any other range of personal pronouns.

This is not the traditional Korean way. The foetus is given a nickname which often sticks until a name is chosen two or more weeks after the baby is born, which is when the advice of a fortune-teller/Chinese character naming specialist is sought - they suggest the most fortuitous names, and how to write them in Chinese, based on the baby's date and time of birth, and the father's surname. You can't know some of these things until after the birth, ergo it is impossible to properly name the child beforehand.

Choosing a Surname

The first problem to be tackled was the thorny subject of the surname. Korean family names almost always one-syllable whereas my Irish one has four and consists of eight characters. This causes problems within Korea's bureaucracy because it doesn't always fit into databases which were designed exclusively for homogeneous domestic use. And if my son was to inherit my family name we feared it would really mark him out as a non-Korean, and only add to the problems he's likely to face growing up here. On the other hand we knew he was going to have to live with being different - it wasn't as though the surname was the only issue. An additional complication was that unlike the Western tradition, wives don't take on their husbands' surnames in Korea and neither did mine. So perhaps someone was going to feel left out one way or the other.

We made the decision to keep my surname, and choose a Korean first name. This condemns our son to having an impossibly long name by Korean standards, but on the plus side if he ever gets conscripted he probably won't be chosen for dangerous missions, because by the time they've called out his name the war will be over.

Choosing a First Name

I believed choosing the first name would be the easier decision. It wasn't, and not just because of the need to consult a fortune-teller/naming specialist whose decision we didn't want to be beholden to. We needed a name that my wife felt was a good Korean one, and which was relatively easy to pronounce for my relatives back home. It needed to be non-embarrassing if our son ever lives in the West, which ruled out a lot of 'hos' and 'suks' amongst others. It needed to be modern, which seemed to dash my hopes of naming my son after a famous Korean physicist on the principle that it was something more to aspire to than the usual bland meanings behind Korean names such as 'noble' or 'heroic'.

I tried to do some research but apparently Western websites mainly list Korean baby names which most Koreans have never heard of or find laughable. We spent six months before the birth gathering ideas but nothing leapt out at us and we had to wait for the naming specialist's suggestions anyway.

Korean Mother Comes Down From the Mountain

Then a few days after my wife gave birth I was sat at my desk when Korean Mother entered the room and announced a new name I hadn't heard before. I assumed it was just another idea but then she came back shortly afterwards with it written down. She repeated it verbally, pointing out while doing so the corresponding Korean characters which I was perfectly capable of reading on my own. It seemed to have come from Korean Father down in Namhae. The mood had changed. There was something serious about this. It was as though she'd just come from from Mount Sinai with the ten commandments on stone tablets and put them in front of me.

I didn't really know what she was getting at, but what irked me was that the name was written as my wife's Korean surname followed by the newly chosen first name. My surname was nowhere to be seen. I suddenly wondered whether to her, this was going to be his name, and this is what she'd be calling him, possibly along with everyone else. It's bad enough that my own identity is being eroded here, without watching my son's vanish before my eyes. I gave her my best "thanks but don't call us, we'll call you" look, and in return I got the "I find your lack of faith disturbing" face back. I texted my wife in hospital.

Our Plan Versus What Actually Happened

So here is what we planned to happen. When my wife finally escaped the hospital we would go see a fortune-teller, get a handful of suggestions based on the specifics of our baby's date and time of birth, and then we choose one of them, or something else entirely. It's the well-worn path a friend who has just given birth went down.

Here is what actually happened. Korean Father recruited an allegedly famous fortune-teller from his social network to do his thing and we got one name back - and only one - and this is the name that had landed on my desk. Through being a police officer, Korean Father knows some... interesting people, so, given that the name of our child is quite important, I just wanted to check how he knew the naming specialist. Well, yes, he had been in prison. OK, but at least tell me it wasn't for fraud I asked half-jokingly. Sure enough... But my wife liked the name anyway.

Several hours later two friends of ours visit the hospital and out of nowhere, and apparently on the spur of the moment while brainstorming, one of them suggested two names that I actually rather liked. In fact one of them seemed rather clever because it's a fusion of the Korean words for 'Korea' and 'England' and it's actually used as a real Korean name, although my wife feels it lacks the levity of the fortune-teller's option, and it might be a little old fashioned. Anyway, I'm in no position to decide on the suitability of a first name.

But we knew that if we chose the fortune-teller's singular suggestion then we'd always have the vague feeling that he named our baby, not us. If we didn't choose it, every time our son suffers a misfortune it's possible that my wife is going to think that somehow it might not have happened if we'd chosen the right name for him. In other words, the moment that name landed on my desk it was probably a done deal.

We decided to consult another naming specialist to try and break the spell, but I'm not sure this was entirely to Korean Mother's approval. An animated discussion on the subject took place in my wife's room at the hospital and although I didn't think Korean Mother was particularly happy I didn't read too much into it because honestly, Busan people can talk about what they had for lunch and make it sound like an international crisis. But here's the thing. I'd spent a lot of one-to-one time with Korean Mother since my wife went into hospital and we became something of a double act as we laughed our way from one attempt to communicate to the next. Walking home together after the hospital that night was no laughing matter, because it was in total silence.

The second naming specialist provided us with ten additional suggestions, and also told us that the name recommended by the first specialist was "no good". But predictably most of the new names could be immediately ruled out for incompatibility with English or English pronunciation. And my wife still liked the original name, so it stuck.

Although...

Just as we accepted our son's new name in our mind, it turned out that Korean Father had given the wrong time of birth to the first naming specialist, potentially changing the baby's fortune and rendering the name inappropriate. But Korean Father didn't want to contact him again to tell him because of the loss of face this would involve, which left us at an impasse. My wife eventually got in touch with the specialist to be told that the hour difference "didn't matter".

But somewhere quite far along the way it had also become apparent that the chosen name - and its 'flow' of strokes in Chinese characters, was in any case based on the incorrect premise of my son having my wife's Korean surname. Since this wouldn't be the case, it rendered the whole process suspect at best.

And that's the story of how I set out with aspirations of naming my son after a famous scientist and actually finished up having him named by a convicted fraudster.

Busanmike.blogspot.com
 
Twitter:  @BusanMike
YouTube: /BusanMikeVideo
Flickr:  /busanmike
 

The fall colors are on their way


Photo credit: korea.net

Korea.net has their 'fall color predictions' in for the top dozen or so mountains in Korea. Though the mountains are far from the only places you'll see the leaves changing colors, they are where people take special trips to enjoy the scenery. Expect the foliage to start changing as soon as the 3rd and as late as the 30th (the further south you go, the later the change starts, roughly speaking). By now, people in Korea have already noticed a bit of chill in the air - it's almost as though the heat switch got turned off right after Chuseok.

The 'peak' day (where about 80% of the leaves have changed color) for the country will vary from October 20th to November 12th. Seoulites, circle November 1st on your calendar; Busanites, October 27th.

For a more complete chart of predictions, check out the fall changing colors story on korea.net.

Creative Commons License © Chris Backe - 2010

This post was originally published on my blog,Chris in South Korea. If you are reading this on another website and there is no linkback or credit given, you are reading an UNAUTHORIZED FEED.


 

Back To Basics: Brushing Your Teeth

For the past week, I’ve been struggling to learn something new:
How To Brush My Teeth.
No, I’m not a gross girl who doesn’t brush her teeth… but I have apparently been brushing my teeth the wrong way… my whole life!
It doesn’t matter how great you look or how white your teeth are if you don’t
have clean and healthy teeth.
-Improper brushing can lead to Gum Disease (which is mainly caused by plaque and tartar build up)
*Gum Disease can lead to Gingivitis, Periodontitis, and can contribute to/ be a warning sign for Heart Disease and Stroke, Diabetes, Chronic Kidney Disease, and Pre-term birth.
-It is estimated that 75% of Americans have some form of Gum Disease
  •  
I’ve mentioned my love of flossing before… but I haven’t been brushing correctly.
* I’ve been brushing my teeth back and forth in a sideways motion, which is why I have a receding gum line and sensitive teeth before the age of 30 
(but I guess it’s better than a receding hairline, right?!?)
* My dentist informed me that I should floss first, and brush in an up and down manner across the teeth (teeth together) and back and forth on the top of the teeth (teeth apart).
- When you brush sideways, it’s basically sawing away at your gum line little
by little (since it’s basically going against the grain)
About.com, WebMD, and EHow all seem to differ slightly on the “correct way to brush”, but there are some things that you can’t really argue with.
 
* Use a Soft bristled brush- Medium and Hard Bristled brushes are too harsh and can wear away the gum line. 
(Korean toothbrushes are the BEST.  I used to have my friends stock up for me, but now they sell them in the states)
Be gentle (Or else you’ll have receding gums and wear away your tooth enamel)
* Don’t forget to floss!  There’s a lot of gross things that can get stuck between your teeth~ Get it out!
* Visit your dentist every 6 months. It’ll save you a lot more trouble in the end.
    So if you don’t take care of your teeth and brush twice a day (yuck!), or if you’ve been brushing incorrectly, hopefully you picked up some tips.
     
    And most importantly, don’t forget to SMILE (but make sure you’re taking care of those pearly whites before you do!)   ;)

    *~ Have a Beautiful Day! ~*

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