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  • Barbie and The Douche Master

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    Korea Land is every bit as rich with douchebags as Canada Land. Merely existing here has resulted in exposure to the following charmers:Subway Soju Man, who felt that 9pm was an appropriate time to be a drunk ass.Random Frat Boy, who felt that a bar fight and threatening text messages were the appropriate response to common courtesy.The President of Dyssemia Anonymous (a weak nickname, in

  • I Love My Baby Daddy

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    Oh, there are multiple babies? That's okay. I love my babies' daddy.Wait, that's not it either? Multiple daddies, you say? Well, of course there are. I love my babies' daddies!Er... what? Ah, to Hell with it.I'm just sad this isn't my shirt, really. I mock because I envy.(as an aside, I probably shouldn't mock the grammar on a shirt when I'm hours beyond the point at which I could still properly,

  • Choco

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    I’ll never forget the first time I tried chocolate milk. It was New Years Eve 2001 and I was at a festival in the rainforest on Australia’s southern coast. I was on the tail end of a pretty serious bout of food poisoning that had seen the previous two days (one of which was my 19th birthday) either shivering in my tent or chained to one of the festival portaloos, and chocolate milk was the first thing I had ingested that hadn’t come straight out again in some shape or form.

  • I Don't Get Invited to Many Funerals

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    I'm feeling batty again. Nearly five minutes has passed since I last felt the Batty Bug, so I'm due. When the Batty Bug bites I find that I have 5 different things to ramble about and completely lack the ability to stay on one topic long enough to form a coherent thought about any of them.I'm even worse to have spoken conversation with when the Batty Bug has hit. Tonight I managed to segue from a

  • New Barbie is a Douche

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    When The Boss Man started looking for a new foreign teacher to replace me, I advised him that he really ought to let me speak to them. I promised that I'd say only nice things about Barbie Hawgon, that I'd had a fabulous experience, and I'd be happy to do what I could to encourage the new recruit that Barbie Hagwon was the place to be. I am worried that The Boss Man started recruiting a month too

  • A Brother-and-Sister Sixsome

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    Found on a restaurant sign near Pusan National University:Because fucking your cousin is so passé.I ... just don't understand. How do these things happen? I refuse to put any further thought into this. I'm happy that they do happen (absurd slogans, that is. I refuse to even consider how to properly emote in response to true family orgies), and will leave it at that.

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