Finally a new post.

Sorry for the lack of updates recently, but there hasn't been too much going on. At this moment though, I am sitting (again) at Chicago International airport waiting to board for my flight to Korea.

I arrive Saturday evening! It'll be a bit of a whirlwind, as I'm due to meet my recruiter at the airport and then my director at the bus station. It's a God send to have those people willing to meet and guide me. The assumption was, at first, it seems was that I could get around on my own since I'd lived in Korea before.

Er... NO! Guys, one thing you need to know about me is that I get very nervous when it comes to wandering around by myself. You put me with at least one other person and I'm pretty good with directions (unless I'm driving on a busy road, in which case I usually get lost because I'm so stressed out, and then end up having a semi-break-down. But that's off toipc...)

Anyway, the director will show me to my apartment tonight (no love hotels for me this time! Thank you!)

I'll have to make a run to Lotte Mart, which I think is nearby, to buy some bedsheets and blankets. They are provided, but I have a rather strange phobia.

First let's look at this word... PHOBIA.

A PHOBIA is an irrational, intense and persistent FEAR of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive and UNREASONABLE desire to avoid the feared stimulus. (That's a wikipedia definition, ya'll).

Alright, now that you see the definition of PHOBIA, I would like to point out that the following is not exaggerated.

I have a severe phobia of communal cloth touching my bare skin, especially my feet.

Hotel bed sheets/blankets (this makes it really difficult to travel at times, I have to bring my own blanket).

Hospital robes, spa robes etc.

Thrift Store/ second hand store clothing.

Couches and chairs in public places that are CLOTH, not leather/faux leather.

Taxi cabs with cloth seats.

How do I react when I'm faced with this things? I get grossed out, kind of sick to my stomach. I get really uptight, and can't relax. When sitting in a taxi with cloth seats i make sure that no part of the seat is touching my bare skin. Sometimes this results in me sitting at the very edge of the taxi seat. It's really awkward, and uncomfortable. But I just can't sit back and allow the back of my legs to touch the cloth.

When it comes to bed sheets, I can't even describe the feeling. I'm just incapable of sleeping in them. The idea of my bare feet (or even socked feet) being tucked under sheets that aren't mine (or don't belong to someone I'm close to) makes me want to cry.

Holes are even worse. If there's a HOLE in the cloth, I... will...freak...out. ESPECIALLY if it's a hole in bed sheets.

So, yeah, bed sheets. I have to buy some of those.

I'm excited to get back to Korea, but it was a little harder to leave home this time. I had to leave my childhood home the night before my flight, so that my parents and I could spend the night in a hotel and arrive early enough (5:00am) at the airport.

While I was packing everything up and getting it ready to be put in the car, I felt really upset. I kept trying not to cry. Though, the feeling was a SAD feeling. It was so strange.

Of course, having to hug my Mom and Dad goodbye again was sad for me. I love them so much, and they have always been (and continue to be) such a huge and important part of my life that it's kind of hard to let them go for such a long amount of time.

I kept asking myself "Why is everything I want so far away from home?"

I'm divided. My family is in one place, but that place holds no opportunity for me. I kept wondering how my interests ended up finding themselves so far away from my childhood hometown. First, Japan, then Italy, now Korea. What am I considering next?

Well...Taiwan, or graduate school. But even graduate school will be far away. All of the programs that I'm interested in are offered in those 'big city' areas where there's the most cultural diversity. That = a difficult time coming home as often as I'd like.

It's hard to realize that in life you sometimes have to sacrifice the things you want and cherish (like being close to family and childhood memories) to pursue bigger goals and dreams. It's give and take. I guess I understand that, and little by little I'm starting not to mind. But, it's hard to transition from home to -world-, especially when home is so nice, haha.

But, the world is calling to me! All of the adventures that it offers convinces me to be brave and continue on! Tally-ho! What, what, my good fellow... and all that.

Er...I apparently lack sleep.

It's true! I'm running on less than 4 hours + a nap on my short flight from home-state to Chicago.

I'm hoping to catch a little bit of sleep on the flight to Korea.

Anyway, I've blathered long enough on this post.

I'm going to stretch my legs and try to find something else to do for the other 40 minutes until boarding.

★★★★ See you in Korea!!!!!!!!!!! ★★★★

Until next post,

~A.