I've always been fascinated by the creativity and poetry of nationalist movements. Some nationalist movements managed to rewrite or just completely invent mythologies, traditions and tales that are now fully part of their nation's culture. Korean nationalists of the 19th century did an incredible job of interpreting and arranging the country's history and its creation myths, something I hope to be able to write on in the near future.
Korea's nationalism is still strong today, and some extreme nationalists have pretty far-fetched theories about the origins and forgotten history of the Korean people. The theories exposed below are in no way representative of the general opinion of Koreans on their history. They are the work of a minority of what could be taken for Internet trolls, if only they didn't seem so serious about their claims.
Exhibit 1 : 환국 (Hwan-guk)
The supposed extent of the Hwanguk empire
This picture had the following legend on the blog where I found it: "Korean territory. I've looked it up on the internet and it's true."
The story of Hwan-guk is based on a pseudo-historical book written in the 20th century: the Hwandan Gogi (환단고기 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hwandan_Gogi) which relates the mythical origins of Korea. Hwan-guk was supposed to be a confederacy of 12 states, spanning 160 million square kilometers and lasting for over 3000 years. The theory is that the Korean race originated from Central Asia and conquered a territory which looks like the Mongol empire. The country was governed by Hwan-In. In the Samguk-Yusa, an old and widely studied historical record of Korea, Hwan-in was the grandfather of the mythical Joseon founder Dangun. Proponent of the Hwan-guk theory says that some versions of the Samguk-Yusa write Hwan-guk instead of Hwan-in (guk meaning country) and that this is the proof that the people who founded Korea descended from the old Hwan-guk empire.
Here are some artistic depictions of Hwan-ins which I believe are taken from a popular book about the Hwan-guk theory. Notice the "Native American" look of several of them, this is because proponent of the Hwan-guk theory like to believe that America was originally populated by people who migrated from Korea.
The most popular theory about Hwanguk is summarized in this video in Korean:
A partial translation of what is said in the video can be found here and here
You'll learn for example that "There is a country called Sumiliguk. Some claim that Sumiliguk is the old Sumer civilization. According to this declaration, people of Sumer who has built up the Mesopotamia civilization are ethnic ancestors of Korea."
To further prove this link between ancient Sumer and Korea, several blogs I found also have a list of Ancient Sumerian words closely resembling modern Korean words. For example:
아비 (Abi) 아버지 (aboji = dad)
움마 (Uhma) 엄마 (eomma = mom)
바드 (Bad) 밭 田 (bat = field)
안(An) 하늘 天 (haneul = sky)
This one had the following legend : "I did not get this map from a Korean book but from a History of ancient Asia written by a foreigner."
Another map showing how ancestors of Korean supposedly migrated across Asia and to the Americas
Exhibit 2 : Korea's conquest of a bunch of places randomly scattered around the world
This map shows how various places around the world were once Korean. One theory explains for example that the English Essex county is actually a deformation of Ui-San itself a deformation of Woo-San, the name of an old Korean kingdom.
The people who believe in Hwanguk, or more generally in any form of Korean hegemony are sometimes referred to as 환빠 (Hwanbba) on history bulletin boards. Their detractors are 환까 (Hwankka). The theories about other places of the world, especially the Americas, having been conquered or populated by Koreans are many.
Other theories based on "linguistic evidence" attempt to show links between Korea and the New World.
According to Pr. Son Seong-tae of PaiChai University in Daejon, many words of Nahuatl and Quechua in the New world can be traced back to Korean because the structure is similar and some words sound the same, such as 날 (nal/day) = nal, 오다 (oda/to come) = wala, 가다 (gada/to go) = ga, 여기 (yeogi/here) = ye, etc...
offers more explanations such as the fact that Niagara would be a compound word based on the Korean words 나이 nai (넷 naet, four) +가람 galam (강 kang, river).
These theories are wrong on so many levels I dare not even enter into too much detail. The first migration to the Americas, if it did indeed come from Central Asia occured much before the supposed time of Hwanguk, during the Late Glacial Maximum or even earlier according to the controversial, yet still interesting (and much more scientific) Solutrean Hypothesis. There is no evidence linking Korean to Sumerian and comparing words used in Korea in the 21st century to words from a language that went extinct more than 3000 years ago is pretty much against all linguistic common sense. But once again I guess this is not the point here.
In one now forgotten work (Kina och Japan - China and Japan, only 350 exemplars were published in Stockholm by the Lagerstrom brothers in 1911), the famous Swedish playwright August Strindberg (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/August_Strindberg) once tried to prove that the name for Japan came from Jaffa in Palestine, that lama in tibetan came from imam in arabic, that some Chinese characters came from Greek letters, that the "king" of Peking came from the hebrew "chun" meaning city, which in turn became "kanan" in greek and "cingo" in latin. One French reviewer called Strindberg's work "childish" and "of no interest for sinology". His theories are still somehow strangely poetic, just like the Hwanguk theories are still interesting despite their lack of scientific value.
If you’ve done any searching for teaching jobs in Korea, you’ve probably seen a lot of postings that say, “No Experience Required!” Sounds too good to be true right? It’s not. The truth is that, while teaching experience is always a valuable asset, most of the time it is not a requirement.
Will I Be Able To Get a Good Job in Korea Without Experience?
While the job market is certainly tougher than it has been in the past, it is still entirely possible to land a good teaching job in Korea without experience. In fact, the large majority of ESL teachers in Korea did not have any professional teaching experience when they got their jobs. The keys to standing out as an applicant (in a good way!) will be in how well you present yourself in your resume and interviews, and whether you are on top of gathering your visa documents. So, if you are a native English speaker with a bachelor’s degree, you probably already have all the qualifications you need to begin your job hunt (check out our list of qualifications for teaching English in Korea).
Journey into the world of tea and you'll soon find yourself bumping into monks of all creeds and colors. One of my first experiences in the tea world here in Busan was with a Monk BabSan of Beomosa. On a few occasions we'd have tea: a green tea followed by a lighter flower tea as was his custom. Yet, here is another monk, of whom I have yet to make acquaintance. I ran into this particular monks website earlier this morning as I was researching an old poetic treatise on tea called the 동다송(東茶頌) Dong-da Song (more on that later...).
The Catholic monks of Taize are known for their choral style chanting well, this particular monk of Taize is known for his tea and translation. Brother Anthony, otherwise known as An Sonjae in Korean, has lived in Seoul for over 29 years and has written two books on Korean tea. His website has a most informative section on tea. If you google "An Sonjae" you'll find several articles by him or on him. He has been a very active member in Koreas poetic and tea circles.
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About the Author
Matthew William Thivierge has abandoned his PhD studies in Shakespeare and is now currently almost half-way through becoming a tea-master (Japanese,Korean & Chinese tea ceremony). He is a part time Ninjologist with some Jagaek studies (Korean 'ninja') and on occasion views the carrying on of pirates from his balcony mounted telescope.
So there I am in PNU, starving, possibly about to eat my own arm. My friends are getting restless too. We were at a Lotte Giants game, and afterwards went to PNU for some shopping. However, we made the mistake of putting off our meal until now, and the situation has become dire.
One of us knows about a place that he heard about. “I think it’s this way,” he says, completely unsure of himself. Another one of my friends hisses at him. We don’t have time to wander.
“Okay everyone, look up for a restaurant!” someone says. I’m not sure who, and I’m in no state to question. I look up and some obscure sushi place is right in front of me. The pictures feature lumps of rice smothered in mayo. It looks disgusting; I start dry heaving right there.
“Pizza! Pasta!” someone else yells. Again I don’t know who is yelling (maybe my fiance?). I’m blinded by hunger by this point, so I just walk in the general direction of the voice and feel a group of people: my friends, hopefully. We shuffle into the door and go up the stairs to the main seating area of the place and sit down. Bread and butter is put in front of us, and I shove it in my mouth. My eyesight is partially restored. It’s interesting bread: warm and blue (you know, like the corn chips) and delicious.
Now that my senses have come back to me, I look around. We’re in a restaurant called Sale n Pepe, and it’s an Italian restaurant. The interior is industrial-chic, with polished concrete floors and ceilings, painted brick walls and hanging lighting fixtures. It’s comfortable at the same time, though, with padded benches and chairs.
The menu has titles in English, but the descriptions are all in Korean, so some of what you get will be a mystery (surprise: mussels!). They have a good range of pasta dishes that you’ve heard of (classic cream spaghetti) and some you might haven’t (Shanghai style spaghetti?). All the pasta that we ordered was spaghetti, so I question if they have anything else. Pizzas are excellent, especially the gorgonzola (8,000) and the four-cheese (11,000). Pasta dishes range from 9 – 11,000 as well. One thing that I appreciated was the presentation of the food. The pasta is served in a small tin frying pan, handle and all, which was pretty cool.
Location-wise, as I mentioned before, it’s right in the shopping area outside the subway, a block over from the Starbucks. Having been to a few restaurants immediately around the shopping area, I can say that this is probably the best one in terms of quality that you’ll find.
Directions: PNU metro exit 1. Walk straight out 1.5 blocks. You’ll see Sale n Pepe on the second floor on your right.
I’m in the middle of my third period fifth grade class, partially pretending to check some of my students’ review assignments and partially day dreaming about what I will do after I get off of work. For the first time in months, all the windows in the classroom are open and I’m not royally pissed about it. The midday weather is gorgeous and the breeze that’s coming in isn’t freezing for once.
As I’m still daydreaming, my co-teacher begins to explain the art project we will be working on for the remainder of class and I poke my head out the window just in time to notice a bus jump the curb and smash into a light post on the street in front of the school. I’m so surprised that the words “holy fuck” almost slip from my lips.
After the kids begin working on their projects I tell my co-teacher about the accident and we both stare out the window at the scene trying to dissect what happened. The light pole that the bus ran into is completely bent sideways and resting in the branches of a nearby cherry blossom tree
“I didn’t see any other vehicle hit the bus before it crashed into the pole.”
“Maybe the driver was drunk.”
“I wonder if something malfunctioned on the bus.”
“He was probably talking on his handphone.”
She returns to her desk and starts explaining the next instructions for the art project to the kids while at the same time grabbing for her camera and motioning for me to gt some shots of the action unfolding outside. By now an ambulance, two squad cars and another bus have arrived. The passengers are taken away while the driver stays to talk with the police.
It’s exciting because this is the second time this week (and really since I’ve been in Korea) that I’m seeing police doing actual police work.
Last Tuesday while out for dinner with some friends, I saw the police arresting what looked like a drunken teenager after he had crashed his fancy Hyundai into another car. They even had him handcuffed. I didn’t even know Koren cops carried handcuffs. Actually, up until then I didn’t think Korean cops did much beyond walking down the block in droves of 10-15 men intimidating everyone in their path (ajummas and grade schoolers included).
I snap a few shots of the accident and chuckle at how excited my co-teacher is about it, despite the horrible picture quality. Neither of us really cared if anyone was hurt in the collision. It seems we were both open to any and all distractions to help get through our Friday classes. Do I dare say that we actually bonded over someone else’s misfortune?
At lunch she tells me that she posted the photos I took of the crash (I have no clue where) and that most of the people who looked at them were worried that someone might have gotten injured.
“Am I a crazy person for not caring?” she asks.
I grin and shake my head.
Like me, she’s not crazy; just generally interested in other peoples’ fuck-ups.
The Basement is one of those places that everybody in Busan is supposed to know about. Mentions of it are often prefaced with phrases like legendary and the most popular expat bar in Busan. For months now, when it’s been brought up, I’ve been pretending that I’ve been there. I didn’t want people to think I was a loser. To think I wasn’t hip with the goings on around Busan. Well, now I have been there, and I can successfully look back and realize I was actually a loser. It’s alright, though, now I’m cool.
The cozy interior of The Basement
The Basement wasn’t at all what I was expecting. Seeing the live music listings, I imagined it was just a PNU version of Vinyl Underground. I guess there are name associations at play as well, since basements are usually underground. Still, the inside was much smaller and cozier than I was imagining. The crowd was pretty laid back as well. Genius Rock, who I’d seen a few weeks earlier at the Vinyl punk show, was set to play later that night.
Stairway leading down into The Basement
The drinks are cheap, and the bar is really fun. It’s relaxed and everyone is extremely friendly. They also have a big screen to watch soccer games on, which makes me happy.
If I lived closer to PNU, I could definitely see myself hanging out at the Basement far more than would be healthy. It’s got a more intimate feel, and much better ambience than a lot of the other expat bars in Busan. So if you’re like me, and have been living a shameful lie by pretending you’ve been to The Basement, maybe now is the time to venture up to PNU and actually check it out.
Directions: From the PNU metro stop, go out exit 1. Walk straight for two blocks. Go through the big intersection. Continue straight until the next big road, then turn right. Walk for a block and a half. Look for the black and green basement sign on your right.
(The following is a piece that was recently killed by a publication that I am known to submit to from time to time. They deemed it too offensive, which it very well may be, so God bless 'em and good luck. I have since given them a more palitable piece for them to run, which they, in turn, have gratefully accepted. But I am still left with this original ranty essay, one which I've sweated and toiled over like a Honduran day laborer, so... why not just throw it up on this old blog?)
If you would have told me ten years ago that I would be living in Busan, Korea, teaching English and doing all of the other crazy things I do, I would have asked you what flavor of meth you were shooting and then demanded a fix. But here I am and while it is weird, any real sense of exoticism was lost long ago. The bizarre has became mundane and Korea—as far from America as it is—is just a place I ended up; it’s my home now and that’s that. But every once in a while I am snapped out of this spell of normalcy, like the other day as I was walking out of the Yeonsan-dong subway station—an impressive,state-of-the-art facility. There, just meters from the exit, was a 90 year-old woman selling a bowl of lettuce, a pile of tree bark, and three dead squid. I was graphically reminded that I do live in Korea, and yes, it is weird.
But despite any weirdness, let me say this: If you are over 30, with no woman, a useless degree, and terrible employment prospects—this place is paradise. When I first got here I was given a decent job, a nice apartment, a hot girl, and a complete set of friends. It was as if right there, upon arrival, I was handed a bag containing a brand new life. For the first six months I used to literally have nightmares about returning home. There I’d be, back at SeaTac Airport, quivering before a nine foot tall immigration officer with horns and burning red eyes. He’d thrust a scaly claw in my face and bellow:
“YOU! BACK TO THE TEMP AGENCY!!!”
“Noooooooooo! Please… I don’t wanna work the Target warehouse… again.”
I loved it here. I had found my niche and reveled in my new found affluence and freedom. I was having the proverbial time of my life. But soon I became aware that not everyone shared my Korean joie de vivre. In fact many of the other expats I met openly hated living here, taking every opportunity to unleash a litany of complaints my way.
“They are so rude. They scowl and hock loogies in the elevators. Ewwww.”
“The other day I was elbowed on the subway by an old lady and she didn’t even say excuse me. Oh. My God.”
“Why can’t they speak English better? And they consider themselves a developed country? As if.”
“Our hagwon director is so sketchy. One mother complains and he’s always changing the curriculum – like last week we could play CD’s and now we can’t play CD’s and he’s always smoking in the back hall and he’s a liar and hates foreigners and we just can’t take it anymore… so… We’ve made up our minds. WE’RE GOING TO JAPAN. They’re nice in Japan. It’s not like here. Yeah, we’re definitely going to Japan.”
I was mystified. How could these people hate this lifestyle so much? Don’t they know how easy they have it? This is cake. Have they never actually worked an evil, terrible job? I certainly have.
Then it occurred to me: The people who come here and hate it are just people whose lives haven’t sucked enough back at home yet. They’re always young, fresh-faced kids with good credit and non- tragic futures. They’re fresh-off-the boat and squeaky clean, with mom’s congealed breast milk drying on their flip-flop adorned feet.
All these years later I still meet them and I ask, “What are your plans?” They tell me how they will finish their one and only year in Korea, take all that money they’ve saved and travel around Southeast Asia for nine months, perhaps even volunteer at an orphanage in Bangladesh. After that they will return home and enroll in law school or pursue that MBA and join the ranks of the young and successful.
Usually they reciprocate, asking me, What are your plans, Chris?” And what do I say to them? That I’ll… try not to get fired… that most likely I’ll visit Thailand during the winter for like the 7th time, where I’ll say "hi" to the three or four of the whores that I know on a first-name basis. After that I’ll return to Korea and phone in yet another semester of English conversation to half-dead junior colleges students… and if I’m lucky—if I’m really lucky—I’ll marry a trophy Korean wife (whose family despises me). We’ll move into Lotte Castle, where I’ll watch her quickly metastasis into a hateful, nagging ajumma, while I drown my sorrows in crates of C1 soju and feel my dreams get sucked from me faster than a fetus at a Planned Parenthood clinic.
The conversation usually ends there.
Yes, Korea is weird, but I love it anyway. Besides, where else am I gonna go?
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