A reader writes in:

Hi Chris,

Recently I’ve been considering doing a year or two worth of TESL work in South Korea, but I had a couple of questions regarding life over there.  1. I’m 6’2″ 220 lbs, I’m assuming it’s probably going to be problematic finding clothes over there.  Are there any places to buy something for a taller and wider shouldered type of guy over there? Also, are shipping rates from the U.S. fairly reasonable? 2.  Do you have any friends that went over there as single guys? A coworker I trained with a couple of years ago had taught in South Korea for a year or two, but anything he’s said has been kind of fuzzy other than the fact that Korean women can get a bit crazy.  Is dating a foreigner over there considered chic and am I going to have to fend over crazy Korean women with a stick while over there?

[M.]

 

Photo credit: me

OK, so there are three distinct questions here – let’s tackle them one-by-one:

1. I’m 6’2″ 220 lbs, I’m assuming it’s probably going to be problematic finding clothes over there.  Are there any places to buy something for a taller and wider shouldered type of guy over there?

Being 5’10″ and closer to 200 pounds than I’d like to admit, I feel your pain. While things have improved somewhat – I’m seeing a lot more options involving ‘XL’ now more before – It’s best to bring a fair amount of clothes with you. The modern department stores will typically carry up to size 36 waist (91 or 92 cm), while some stores may stock a 38 waist (94 or 95 cm) as well. T-shirts tend to be short and tight – two strikes for bigger guys.

There are several clothing stores in the Itaewon area specifically for bigger people, and the sky’s the limit here. Since much of what’s sold is imported, there’s a better chance of a good fit. While you probably won’t need them, the area also has enough older Korean gentlemen promising to make you a tailored suit. I would also check out a second-hand store in the Hongdae area – from Hongik University station on line 2, take exit 8 to street level, then take the first right to the T – it’s on the corner to your left on the 3rd floor. I’ve seen some jeans as large as a size 42 waist there.

[1a.] Also, are shipping rates from the U.S. fairly reasonable?

I wrote about shipping during last year’s holiday season from Korea to your home country. If sending something fast, prices get expensive faster than you can say ‘How much?’ Using USPS’s handy ‘international price calculator’, sending a 20 pound package from the US to Korea via ‘Express Mail International’ would cost $134.05 and arrive in 3-5 business days; if you could cram it in the USPS-provided 12″ x 12″ x 5-1/2″ box, the Priority Mail shipping would be $58.50 and arrive in 6-10 business days. A 50 pound package can only be sent via Express Mail, and would cost $306.55.

I’d love to say UPS is cheaper – but according to a personal real-world scenario (e.g. shipping a 20 pound box from my former hometown to here), it would cost $247.68 and take three days to ship. FedEx isn’t much better, costing $241.31 and taking a week to ship the same 20 pound box; an additional $13.67 would magically make it arrive two days earlier.

Bottom line – pack what you need in your two suitcases and a carry-on – you’d be amazed how many clothes you can fit in there. Once arriving, a relative or trusted friend can send you anything else you might need. Be sure to Paypal them the money to cover the shipping costs!

2.  Do you have any friends that went over there as single guys? A coworker I trained with a couple of years ago had taught in South Korea for a year or two, but anything he’s said has been kind of fuzzy other than the fact that Korean women can get a bit crazy.  Is dating a foreigner over there considered chic and am I going to have to fend over crazy Korean women with a stick while over there?

At the risk of offending half of my wonderful readers, women do have the propensity to ‘get a bit crazy’. That said, any number of things men do could likely be perceived as crazy as well. I’ll leave the psychological / sociological discussions in The Grand Narrative’s extremely capable hands. If you haven’t already found his writings online, I highly recommend them as an academic – and picture-ful – source of information.

Put simply, the story often goes that Westerners are perceived as ‘exotic’, or perhaps even a bit of forbidden fruit by Koreans. Enough older Koreans still object to foreigner and Korean relationships, and they tend to make life more difficult for couples of that type. However, you will see quite a few foreigner-and-Korean couples walking the streets of Hongdae or Gangnam. Those relationships may just be for fun, for ‘benefits’, or for serious. Taking the waygook home to meet mom and dad, though? Consider that a big step.

Virtually everyone I know came to Korea single. Whether through mutual acquaintances or mutual interests, more than a few find themselves seeing a local on some level. While there’s always the bad seed (and that goes for foreigners as well as Koreans), there are plenty of intelligent, interesting, and talented people out there. So long as the language barrier isn’t an issue and both are adults, people ought to see whomever they like – foreigner or Korean, male or female, black, brown, yellow or white. I wouldn’t say that dating a foreigner is considered ‘chic’ – but for some it’s simply what they prefer. Since I started dating the Lady in Red (a fellow American English teacher), I haven’t looked back. We’re still full-fledged observers of the Korean condition – especially when short skirts are involved – but I’m quite happy with the lady I’m lucky enough to call my own.

The bigger question becomes one of what makes you happy. Dating / seeing a Korean is relatively easy, but spend a bit of time considering what you’re looking for in a partner. At the risk of calling specific people out, I’d love to hear Roboseyo‘s take, as well as any other foreigners that have gotten serious with their Korean partner.

Readers: what are your thoughts on dating a local?

© Chris Backe – 2011
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