How old are you? 35

Did you go to university? No

When did you realize that you were gay? 22. Hmmm…. I didn’t know I was gay, but I looked at boys and thought I liked them maybe when I was around 8.  Later I met some other gays and wasn’t sure if I was gay or straight or bi. When I went to Itaewon I saw that there were a lot of gays and began to realize that I too was gay.

When was your first gay experience? When I was 8 in the basement of a third story house I saw the friend of my oldest brother. I asked if I could play. He invited me over. I went with him. He hugged me and I thought it was kind of weird. He took of his pants and so I did too. I thought it was weird. He wanted to suck my cock and I said no. He told me he would suck my cock so he did. He was older and his penis was much larger than me, which was shocking. He wanted me to reciprocate, but it was too difficult.  It was just a one time thing.

Do you have gay pride? Yes. I live as a gay man and I am proud of that.

When did that start? After fist going to Itaewon when I was 22 it started. Around 25 I really felt gay pride. I went to Japan and I saw a lot of proud gays.

So Japan influenced your gay identity? When I was younger I was still kind of closeted and awkward. When I went to Japan I met all sorts of people. People showed their gay identity, their transgender identity. I met lesbians. They were able to show who they were. It didn’t really matter, they could all hang out. I asked how they could all be so open. They said at first it was hard but after a while it gets better. Maybe Japan used to be the same as Korea. When I came back to Korea I lived more openly.

Are you out with your family? With my sister. But my mom and brothers don’t know. My sister was a bit shocked and asked why I was gay. I answered that I grew up gay. She kept asking questions but it was hard to explain. I gave her a book, but I don’t think she read it. She can be lazy. So my sister asked me if I want to marry a woman one day. If my mind will change. But I don’t think that will happen.

Do you want to come out to your family one day? Yes, but my sister told me not to. That I should wait.

How is life as a gay Korean man? It is fine. For me, I think it is fine.

How is life as a gay Deaf Korean man?  Very different. My gay Deaf friends are very secretive. They don’t tend to talk about their lives. I’m open, but a lot of them are afraid of being exposed. I feel it is hard to be both deaf and gay. Because there are so many speaking people. The deaf world is small. I’m a minority in a minority. Hearing people look at me weird for being deaf. Deaf people look at me as weird for being gay. Gay people look at me weird for being deaf.

Do you have a lot of gay Deaf friends? Yes. A lot. There are many but a lot of them live far away and I don’t see them. It is also hard to meet up because a lot of them are secretive about their sexuality.

There is also the aspect of Korean age culture. Groups meet up based on age. So friends should be similar in age, which makes it harder to meet up with Korean gay Deaf guys.

Are things changing in Korea in terms of gay rights? I’m not really sure. I haven’t seen much information. Part of the problem is accessibility for Deaf people. I think that the conversation tends to mostly focus on sex. Gay communities here don’t really talk about life. If they do have these discussions, there aren’t translators so Deaf queer people cannot participate.

Do you participate in any gay rights groups in Korea?Yes. Well, a long time ago my friend and I decided to make a group on Ivan City. Maybe there were some hidden gays in the Deaf community. We made a group and lots of people joined. We were really happy to have this group. We asked why all these people had been. They had to for school. They were worried about losing their friends. I, on the other hand, didn’t go to school so I didn’t have these school connections that I had to worry about.

I also had a class here. I taught KSL to gay Koreans who were interested. This went on for three months. I was busy so I had to stop teaching but there wasn’t a new teacher and the group just dissolved. So later I went through Chingu Sai to make a group to learn KSL. Only three people showed up. As these numbers got smaller, we stopped.

In Japan, there was a similar class. It had lots of people learning JSL…  It doesn’t seem so popular in Korea.

Do you think life in Japan is easier for gay Deaf Koreans? Yes. Part of it is culture. Age isn’t as important. People can all hang out. It is a little more open minded. I mean, you still can’t get married but Japan is a bit more liberal about it. Japan is better about disabled rights and slightly better for deaf people.

What do you like about being a gay Deaf Korean? Gay nightlife is pretty fun. And I’ve met lots of good friends from sharing this common identity.

Do you want to get to married to a man? Yes. Of course. In Korea, we can’t. But I would love to get married.

Do you think gay marriage will be legal in Korea? Maybe. But how long will it take? After ten years, twenty years… I’ll get old and die.