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Our Top Picks of Seoul’s Best Fall Foliage Spots For Your Instagram

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Autumn in Seoul is absolutely wonderful – The leaves turn crisp and rich shades of yellow, red, orange and brown, the air is chilly, and you can start pulling out your light coats and scarves.

It boasts the perfect weather to walk around outside, bask in the cool breeze and to take in the gorgeous landscapes. Here’s our list of the best in Seoul for you to take in the beautiful fall foliage and take the best Instapics. Head to them quick before winter hits!

1. World Cup Park

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Made up of five parks, World Cup Park is lined with endless nature paths.

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It also holds the Seoul Eulalia Festival at the top of the park to highlight the blooming field of reeds every autumn.

2. Garosugil (Sinsadong)

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Garosugil means “street with trees” and it definitely is lined with lots of them, especially Ginkgo trees. Enjoy taking in these towering trees with yellow fan-shaped leaves as you shop along the streets or sip a cup of coffee.

3. Samcheongdong-gil Road

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The scenic stone wall road that runs beside Gyeongbokgung Palace is perfect for taking a stroll during autumn.

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At Samcheongdong-gil Road, you’ll be greeted by shades of striking yellow, orange, and red. Try a walking tour to really enjoy it to the fullest!

4. Gilsangsa Temple

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Gilsangsa Temple is surrounded by many old trees and beautiful autumn leaves. It’s the perfect place to take a leisurely walk since the environment is peaceful and airy.

5. Deoksugung Palace

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Beautiful scenery is everywhere along this stonewall road, with the trees that look particularly colorful when viewed against the Deoksugung Palace walls. Enjoy it after a tour of the palace!

6. Bongeunsa Temple

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The summer hues of pink and white are replaced with shades of orange, yellow, and some green at Bongeunsa Temple – all against a serene backdrop of the Buddha statue.

7. Dosan Memorial Park

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A small but peaceful park, Dosan Memorial Park is full of golden autumn leaves and is a popular destination for office workers to enjoy a walk during their lunch breaks.

All the locations mentioned in this post are organized here for your convenience. If you’d like to check out more picturesque places across Korea to enjoy the fall foliage this autumn, try this tour!

As always, don’t forget to stop by our official website,, Korea’s #1 Travel Shop to stay up-to-date on the best things to do and places to check out! button_main 2
a service for travelers to easily share and discover the latest hip & hot travel spots from all over the world. 
We are currently focusing on Korea as our destination and plan to expand to other countries gradually. 

Registration for September 24th Meeting Open!!

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The light at the end of that long dark summer tunnel is clear!  And we have just the place to enjoy some awesome Korean alcohol and equally delicious food.  Our […]

Makgeolli Mamas & Papas

Too Much Tourism On Jeju Island?

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A 50 year old Chinese man visiting Jeju Island recently stabbed & killed a South Korean woman while she prayed at a cathedral. The murder shocked the ROK & also triggered an online petition demanding the end of visa waivers for Chinese tourists on Jeju. However, even before this tragic murder, with the government & tourism industry entrepreneurs taking advantage of the increasing number of tourists to the island, more & more emerging voices say regulations must be put in place to protect Jeju from too much tourism, including one foreign journalist on the island who stresses the need to prevent the loss of what attracts visitors in the first placeKorea FM host Chance Dorland spoke with former Jeju Weekly writer & editorial advisor Darren Southcott & tourism expert Ross Dowling about how making the right decisions now will ensure Jeju’s tourism success in the future.

This episode is brought to you by Podcast Assist & its $30 per hour flat rate podcasting voice overs, editing, mastering, transcriptions & even hosting (select a topic, they’ll create & host the podcast). Visit for more information. 

If audio player does not load, listen to this episode by clicking here.

Interview answers, both in written & audio form, have been edited for length & clarity.

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The post Too Much Tourism On Jeju Island? appeared first on Korea FM.

Trazy’s Survival Tips for Travelers to Thailand: Bangkok’s Public Transportation System

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Welcome to Bangkok: a city full of people, traffic, vibrant nightlife, busy markets, brightly lit malls, tranquil riversides, and captivating history! An abundance of transport options such as buses, taxis, motorcycle taxis, ferries, boats, tuk-tuks, and trains exist.

There’s so much to explore and with this guide, you’ll be navigating the city like a pro. We’ve got you covered with information about the types of transport available, fares, operating hours and more!

1. BTS Skytrain

The BTS (Bangkok Mass Transit System) Skytrain is the swiftest, safest, and smoothest way to get around Bangkok and see everything the city has to offer. Along with the MRT, it connects all of the main shopping, entertainment and business districts.bts-skytrainThere are two lines- the Silom line (runs west to south from the National Stadium to Bang Wa) and the Sukhumvit line (runs north to east from Mo Chit to Bearing). The lines meet at Siam Station and interconnect with the MRT at Sala Daeng and Asok station. Trains run from 06:00 to midnight and arrive every 3 to 4 minutes. Do keep in mind that they can get quite crowded during peak hours (07:00 – 09:00 and 16:00 – 19:00).BTS tickets.pngBTS Rabbit cards can be purchased from machines in the stations with coins only (but change is given at the service desks). There are several options to choose from depending on the duration and distance you are traveling.



Single Journey Ticket

15 ~ 52 THB depending on distance traveled
Unlimited Travel 1 Day Pass 120 THB. Ideal for tourists as you can travel as much as you want all day.
Standard Rabbit Card / Stored Value Card 150 THB (50 THB is a refundable deposit). Can be filled with minimum 100 THB and maximum 4000 THB. Valid for 5 years.
30 Day Pass for Adults

Starts at 375 THB for 15 trips of an unlimited distance. Available for 15, 25, 40, 50 trips at varying prices.

The BTS site includes a detailed map as well as directions showing you how to get to the major tourist attractions. You can also find maps at any station.

2. MRT 

Calm and convenient, the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit) consists of the blue line (runs from Hua Lamphong in the south to Bang Sue in the north) and the recently opened purple line (runs from Taopoon Station in the Bang Sue district to Bangyai district in Nonthaburi). Here’s a map for your convenience.bangkok-mrt-bts-mapTrains run from 06:00 to midnight and arrive every 5 to 7 minutes. You can connect to the BTS Skytrain at Asok station. mrt-trainUnlike the BTS Skytrain, tickets are black plastic tokens purchasable from machines in the station. Simply touch the token against the screen next to the turnstile as you enter and drop it into the slot as you leave. Fares range from 15 to 40 THB depending on the travel zone. Note that the passes bought for the MRT are not compatible with ones for the BTS Skytrain. MRT token.jpg

3. Taxis – Meter and Motorcycle 

Taxis are your next best bet in terms of convenience as they are  easy to hail and ideal for traveling to destinations that aren’t on the BTS Skytrain or MRT map.

The taxis are spacious, new, and come in many colors like yellow-green, red-blue, bright orange, and pink. However, don’t be confused as they all share the same service rates so it doesn’t matter what color vehicle you take.taxiFares start at 35 THB and remain there for the first two kilometers, then rise steadily by 2 THB at a time per kilometer. Communication can sometimes be an issue as many drivers speak little English, so improvise and be imaginative. Also, avoid taxis during rush hour unless you want to end up paying a fortune.

*Always make sure your taxi uses a meter. Drivers may come up with many ways to try and scam you and get you to use their taxi. Meters are always cheaper and more reliable. Carry around change as well since most drivers will not give change under 10 THB.
motorcycle-taxiIf you’re up for an adventure, try a motorcycle taxi. Though it’s probably the most dangerous option, it’s also the fastest. During rush hour, they will dart effortlessly around cars and buses, driving on sidewalks or opposite traffic lanes to get you to your destination as fast as possible.  The drivers are easy to spot as they wear numbered orange vests.

Fares start from 10 THB for short journeys and vary depending on the distance. Certain routes may have fixed rates and you will sometimes see a board displaying the prices. Make sure to always negotiate the price prior to the journey, or you may find yourself being ripped off.

* Make sure you wear a safety helmet. Aside from the obvious reason, tourists are also very easy to spot and fine (up to 1000 THB depending on the traffic officer’s mood).

4. Buses

Buses are a great way to travel from one side of the city to another at an incredibly cheap price. The downside is that they can be confusing to tourists as the routes are extensive and destinations are written in only Thai a lot of the time. Make sure you have an MBTA map (available at most terminals), ask someone around you or call the “184” BMTA hotline for assistance. You can also print out a simple map herebangkok-busesBuses with blue signs take the normal route while ones with yellow signs take the expressway. The fares and routes vary according to the color of the bus. Bangkok buses run daily from 05:00 – 11:00 while night buses run 24 hours a day.

Bus Type


Regular (cream-red / white-blue) 7 THB
Expressway (yellow) 8.5 THB
Air Conditioned (cream-blue) 9~19 THB (depending on destination)
All night (cream-red) 8 THB
EURO II (yellow-orange) 12~22 THB  (depending on destination)

Tickets can be purchased from the conductor once you board the bus. Simply tell them your destination and you will receive a small receipt once you pay. Keep the receipt as sometimes it will be checked.

*Wave your hand if you intend to get on the bus! Sometimes bus drivers tend to just drive past without stopping if no one seems to be intending to get on. Also, carry a copy of your address written in Thai as it will spare you the trouble of trying to communicate with the conductor or driver.

5. Boats and Ferries 

Explore canals, historical attractions, temples, and architecture on boats and ferries. There are several types but the main ones are river crossing ferries and express boat river taxis. river-taxiRiver Crossing Ferries resemble a raft with a roof and operate at 32 separate ferry crossings. As the name suggests, they transport people from one side of the river to the other for only 3 THB. The most popular crossing is between Wat Pho Temple and Wat Arun at Tha Tien Pier. express-boatFor express boat river taxis, there are five different types: No flag, Blue flag, Orange flag, Yellow flag, and Green flag lines. The green and yellow lines are for those commuting to and from work from the northern outskirts of Bangkok.

Type of Boat

Course Fare

Operation Hours

No Flag (Local Line) Stops at every pier from Wat Rajsingkorn (Pier S1) in the south to Nonthaburi (Pier N30) in the north. 10~20 THB 06:00 – 18:30 Monday to Friday.

Blue Flag (Tourist Boat)

Stops when you want. Operates between Nonthaburi in the far north to Sathorn Central Pier. 40~50 THB per trip.

100 THB for all day pass with unlimited journeys.

07:00 – 18:25 daily
Orange Flag Stops at main piers. Operates between Wat Rajsinkorn (Pier S3) and Nonthaburi (Pier N30). 15 THB per journey 05:50 – 19:00 daily

6. Tuk-tuks

Tuk-tuks were once a major Bangkok attraction but are slowly declining as more convenient and modern modes of transport arise. However, they are still quite popular among tourists and visitors!

Originating from old fashioned rickshaws during WWII, tuk-tuks are a rickshaw with a small engine fitted in. They are ideal for short trips since they cost the same or even less than a taxi and are much faster.  tuk-tukFares vary depending on the distance traveled but haggling is a must as the price named by the driver is always inflated. Negotiate 5~25 THB off the proposed fare and take it from there.

*Be careful of drivers around touristy areas who offer sightseeing tours or say they know “secret” or “special shopping places”. A short and firm “no thank you” will save you from being scammed.

Try a Tuk Tuk Tour if you’re feeling adventurous and want to explore the night lights of Bangkok. You can also enjoy a comfortable private transfer service if you’re heading to or from Suvarnabhumi Airport (BKK Airport) and Bangkok City.

If you found this guide helpful, make sure to stop by, your travel shop for Asia, for more posts with detailed guides and tips like this one! button6

Photo Credits

“BTS, Bangkok” By jo.sau

“BTS Skytrain Ticket” By Harsha K R

“Rabbit card” By Karl Baron

“Bangkok MRT” By billy1125

“MRT Ticket Vending Machine”, “MRT Ticket” By Shinji

“Primary colours on wheels” By Tricycle

“Streets of Bangkok 2015” By drburtoni

“New Orange Minibus in Thonburi” By Ian Fuller

“Isuzu (?) bus” By davocano


“IMG_1210” By 7beachbum

“River Boat in Bangkok” By Michael Rehfeldt

“Chao Phraya river express boat in Bangkok, Thailand”By Uwe Schwarzbach

Into the Wild West: Part 3

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Ugly at the Arch

We had just arrived back into town after our jaunt up the Karakorum Highway, having dinner and beers (of course) at the Chini Bagh’s John’s Café.

We were joined by Simon, a towering Englishman we had met the Olympics opening-night piss-up. He was sinewy and bald and looked a lot like Peter Garrett from the Australian band Midnight Oil. His eyes shone wild as he carried on about a day trip he had just taken to Shipton’s Arch, a rock formation a couple of hours outside of town. Shipton’s Arch, or Tushuk Tash (“Pierced Rock”), is the tallest natural arch in the world, standing at over 1,200 feet, and located in a very remote part of the desert.

“I was just out there today,” Simon said in his lilting Yorkshire accent. “I had the whole place to meself. No one goes there. It’s spectacular. I would highly recommend checking it out.”

He showed us some video that he had shot a few hours earlier with his cell phone camera.

“See! It’s fucking incredible. I mean, look at it.”

I squinted and peered at the footage. It did appear to be a cool spot, but it’s hard to deliver the wow factor on a two-inch screen. I was skeptical, but my two companions were sold. And the next day was special: it was Steve’s birthday as well as his last day in Xinjiang. After nearly three weeks of travelling with us, he was due to fly back to Shanghai, and then on to Korea. It had been an epic trip, and we had to see him off in style.

We made arrangements to hire a Jeep and set out early the next day on the two-hour drive to the trailhead. After a little more than an hour on the paved road, we turned off onto a dried-up riverbed, where the driver switched into 4WD. We slowly worked our way up the rocky bed until we came to the stone-and-mud hut of a goat-herding family, where we were waved down by a teenage boy. Our driver—a Chinese guy in a pink polo shirt—rolled down the window and spoke with the kid in Uyghur. When they were finished, the driver told me that there was a twenty-yuan-per-person “entrance fee.”

I immediately balked. It seemed everywhere we went on this trip had some sort of hidden “entrance fee.” Plus, we were paying the café’s travel desk a lot of money for the Jeep and the driver, so the thought of coughing up extra made all of us bristle. Three weeks of hard travel had made us frequent targets for cheats, grifters, and thieves. Our patience was sapped.

I looked the driver in the eyes and said, “No fucking way.”

Whether this registered or not is anyone’s guess, but he waved goodbye to the kid and drove off.

We proceeded on for about ten minutes more until the road ended in a gravel parking area. Ours was the only visible vehicle. This was the trailhead. We got out of the Jeep and the driver pointed toward the starting point—he would wait for us in the Jeep. We thanked him and began our hike up toward the arch.

As we approached the actual trailhead, I heard the whine of a small engine reverberate up the canyon. It was the sound of a motorcycle—a dirt bike. Soon the rider came into view behind us, quickly closing the distance. It was the kid from the goat herder’s hut. He was coming… to collect his fee.

He rode his motorbike as far as it could go, got off, and broke into a sprint in an attempt to overtake us. We picked up the pace, but we saw no need to get into a running contest with this kid. He eventually passed us, and it was only then when I saw why he was in such a hurry: about one hundred meters in front of us, the canyon narrowed and steepened dramatically. A wooden ladder lay against the face of the rock. Climbing this ladder was the only way you could continue up toward the arch.

By the time we got to the Uyghur teen, he was clutching the ladder like it was a briefcase full of diamonds. He then firmly requested twenty yuan each, about three American dollars. We shook our heads and said no. He gripped the wooden ladder even tighter. It was a standoff and he had us by the balls.

We could have gone easily. We could have each just given up the twenty yuan—the cost of mug of shitty Korean beer—and been on our way, but we weren’t having it. This was the day we would stand our ground. It was Steve’s birthday. Surrender was impossible! We would draw a line in the sand and fight.

At first I tried bargaining. After a few weeks in China, I had gotten a pretty good hold on the numbers, so I had confidence when it came to negotiating a price. I offered twenty yuan for all three of us. I was sure he’d take it. I’d given him the courtesy of saying it in Chinese, which, even if not his first language, would have been easier for him to understand than English. He understood me all right, but just shook his head and held firm. I came up to forty, but the kid wouldn’t budge. He insisted on sixty and that was that. This only served to stoke our indignation—mine especially. I demanded to see some ID. After all, how do we know that he was officially allowed to collect tolls? For all we knew, he could just be some local punk ripping us off. When no official card was forthcoming, I ridiculously threatened him with the police—using my best mime skills to act out reporting him via telephone—as if they’d race out to the middle of the desert over a disputed entrance fee. He met my eyes and stood tall. Sam joined in as I stammered and sputtered and foamed at the mouth. I tried to grab the kid’s ladder but he yanked it away. I shook my finger in his face and called him an “extorting little fucker.” Following my lead, my two accomplices joined me cornering the poor kid and let loose a torrent of abuse. The boy, however, would not be intimidated. He just stared back in proud defiance and contempt.

It was Steve who caved in to reason. After huffing and puffing and thumping our chests, he yelled out, “Hey Tharp. Let’s just pay the kid! It’s my birthday and I want to see the arch.”

I turned to him in disbelief. He just shrugged and reached for his wallet.

That was that, then. We finally relented and gave this kid his nine bucks, though I did feel the need to dramatically spit on the ground when I handed him the cash, likely a grievous insult in honor-driven Uyghur culture.

What is it about righteousness that can be so all-consuming? All three of us were convinced that we were in the right and that this kid—this goat herder—was trying to rip us off, that he had seen an opportunity to squeeze some foreigners for money and was jumping at it. At no time did it occur to us that EVERYONE who comes to the arch had to pay this little tax to the locals who live on and work the land, who make and maintain the ladders. And twenty yuan certainly pales in comparison to the two hundred or more that we had to pay at other sites during the trip, sites run by hordes of uniformed, unsmiling Chinese.

After paying, we continued up the trail—scurrying up five or six more ladders—rattled by our anger and loss of face. We plotted revenge against the kid, even having a serious discussion about shitting on his motorcycle. But our anger quickly gave way to serenity because of our surroundings. We were enveloped in pure silence, save for the light breeze blowing up from the desert floor.

We ascended a canyon of red and ochre, of stone worn into gnarled, psychedelic shapes by centuries of desert wind, only to come across a hole at the canyon’s end.

As we approached the hole, we realized that we were actually on top of a mountain. On the other side of the hole was a chasm, a sheer drop of over one thousand feet.

Shipton’s Arch.

English Simon was right. It was absolutely amazing.

The arch only reveals its true size once you are up on it. It looks slightly dramatic from a distance, but you have no idea of its scale until you are right there, almost on top of it. It is enormous. It ripped the breath right out of us. We were floored. And, like English Simon the day before, we had it all to ourselves. We were at one of the most beautiful sites in the most populous country on Earth and there wasn’t a soul to be seen. Everything about the place simply blew us away, but our euphoria was soon dampened by the realization of the people we had just been thirty minutes before: terrible, terrible people.

Shipton’s Arch is in a very inaccessible part of the desert, and this is why the Chinese have yet to destroy it. They have yet to build a road and a parking lot with souvenir stands, a cable car cranking out awful pop music, and soft-drink advertisements. They have yet to pave a concrete stairway up to the top, with a fenced-off viewing platform and karaoke room. They have yet to open the sieve and direct fleets of tour buses there on a daily basis. They have yet to ruin the place.

Let the Uyghur goat herders maintain their stewardship. And please, unlike us, don’t give them any hassle when they ask for your three bucks.

Consider the alternative.


Yarkand is a town dug into the sand, originally an outpost on the southern Silk Road. It sits on the fringe of the Taklimakan, a place of moving sand dunes so desolate that the Uyghur still refer to it as “Desert of Death” and the “Place of No Return.” The town itself is famous for its knives, which is appropriate: it seems like a very good place to stab somebody. Other than that, it’s dusty and unremarkable, save for the spectacle I took in when I left the bus station that morning in search of a cup of coffee:

As I exited and descended the building’s steps, I noticed a small crowd of people gathered around a cart attached to a donkey. In the back of the cart lay a horribly deformed child. His head was swollen, gargantuan, the size and color of a twenty-pound holiday turkey. His eyes glared out from deep-set sockets; his mouth was a maw of jutting teeth, and his pink tongue writhed wildly. I heard myself gasp as the blood left my head and then shot cold. The boy lay on his back and jerked and twitched, moaning intermittently. The throng of locals standing around the poor kid gawked accordingly. What I took to be the boy’s father addressed them nonchalantly, perhaps appealing to their charity, or just describing the horrific extent of his son’s infirmities. After recovering my breath, I had an impulse to snap a photo, but surrendered to the better part of my nature. Instead I rushed away, half-jogging down the street, where I ducked into an unlikely, garishly colored Chinese fast-food joint called Veary Hamburger. There I ordered an obscenely sweet iced coffee drink and sat down, attempting to erase the image of the disfigured boy from my mind by bombarding it with the radioactive combination of sugar, caffeine, and blaring pop music.

When I returned to the bus station, I found my two travel companions where I’d left them: sitting on one of the squalid building’s metal benches while staring at Olympic coverage flickering from the TV above. American swimmer Michael Phelps stood on the platform and smiled his horsey grin, while yet another gold medal was slung around his neck.

The bus to Hotan finally arrived and we boarded. Sam and I were joined by Simon, the Englishman that we’d met back in Kashgar. During the afternoon bus ride, we passed an overturned melon truck on the side of the two-lane highway. Hundreds of watermelons had been thrown from its payload and now littered the ground around the wreck. Many had burst open, splaying their gory red innards for all to see, acting as a warning to the humans piloting the passing vehicles to slow down and look out, or face a similar fate.


Choking clouds enveloped Hotan, covering everything in a fine desert dust. The air was a brown haze, obscuring the shiny modern Chinese buildings, as well as the mud-built Uyghur warren-like compounds—with their carpet looms, teapots, and dried dung. Even the famous statue of Mao shaking the old Muslim man’s hand was made nearly invisible by the dull screen of airborne grit, surely to the pleasure of many of the locals, who bristled at such an ostentatious display of dominance. There was dust in my hair, granules grinding on my molars, hard clumps up my nose, and desiccated wax in my ears. The simple act of breathing could cause me to cough or sneeze. The dust scratched my eyes. It saturated my clothing. It scoured the skin of my ass and made everyday existence an exercise in irritation. No wonder most everyone we saw seemed so pissed off.

Like so many of the places we stayed in Western China, the “Happy Hotel” was filthy. Despite a glowing recommendation from the guidebook, we were received with casual indifference by the Uyghur owner. Grubby-faced kids—clad only from the waist up—played in the courtyard among the buzzing flies and grime. One of them had left a sickly yellow turd in a small grate in the concrete; judging from its moistness, it appeared to have been very recently deposited. The smell of grease and human waste hung damply in the air as we paid and then waited for the owner to find the key to our room. He rummaged through his box-like, unlit reception office and shouted to his wife, who just shrugged and carried on hanging the laundry on the second-floor balcony. He eventually gave up on his quest, walked over to our room, and easily snapped the cheap metal lock off the door with a small screwdriver. The wooden door creaked open and we were finally allowed access to our new digs.

“For God’s sake,” Simon gagged.

A demonic, eye-stinging stench filled the room. It emanated from the bathroom, which was little more than a tiny sink, a broken mirror, a barely functioning water faucet, and a stained ceramic hole in which to crap. This hole must have led to some kind of septic tank just feet underneath, since it filled the air with a noxious miasma of piss and shit that smelled as if it had brewing for months on end in the blazing desert sun. The bathroom’s door acted as a seal of sorts that made the room barely tolerable when closed, but any time it was opened, a hot, nauseating blast filled the space, assaulting the nostrils, sticking to the tongue, and burning the lungs like some sort of biological-gas attack.

The room’s one window provided us with a modicum of ventilation, especially if opened in tandem with the door. It also gave the dank space a bit of light, which sifted through the greasy, dust-covered glass. Outside, an ancient bed lay in front of the window, on which was piled a heap of stained and neglected laundry. Above it, on the sill, sat a cracked egg. Its amber contents oozed down the outside wall like a waxy drip of hardened snot; it had obviously been there for ages. The fact that—over the course of weeks or even months, no one in the whole facility had bothered to clean it up spoke volumes to the commitment to hygiene at the Happy Hotel.

Hotan is famous for its jade, but unless you’re looking to stock up on the semi-precious gem from one of the town’s numerous Chinese-owned shops, there’s not much to do. We certainly weren’t in the market for any stones, so we wandered through the haze for a couple hours along the ruined sidewalks of the town, at one point pausing to watch a woman burn the hair off of a dismembered goat with a blowtorch. We strolled through a silk market and stopped at a PC room to check our email and illegally access our Facebook accounts through proxy servers. We then walked some more, wrapping our faces to protect our lungs from the dust, taking in the town around us, and above all, marveling at the multitude of donkeys.

“I find it remarkable,” Simon said, “that so many people still use donkeys as transport. I mean, this is the 21st century. China is rapidly developing into a high-tech powerhouse. Just ten minutes ago we were using computers. I sat there and uploaded hundreds of photographs from my digital camera onto Facebook, and now I come outside only to see men driving carts pulled by fucking donkeys. It boggles the mind.”

“They’re such sad creatures,” remarked Sam.

“I find them quite adorable,” admitted Simon.

“I’ve never been around donkeys until coming here,” I added. “We don’t have many in America.”

“Did you go to the livestock market in Kashgar?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, we did,” I said. “We actually priced the donkeys. How much does a healthy adult go for, Sam?”

“About a hundred and seventy bucks.”

Simon raised his eyebrows. “Wow, that’s a bit dearer than I would I have expected.”

“That’s the going rate, evidently,” I said, “pre-haggle.”

“What I loved about the Kashgar livestock market,” mused Sam, “was how occasionally a serious donkey would let loose a loud, harsh bray that kind of rallied all the lesser donkeys to a common cause. Donkeys from all around would follow suit and loudly bray in solidarity.”

“I remember that,” Simon added. “It would catch on and spread, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, like a brush fire,” continued Sam. “The donkey’s bray… man, listen to it. It’s a ridiculous sound… HEE-haww! HEE-hawwwww! It’s a vigorous complaint against all the yokes those poor beasts are forced to endure by our hand. It’s a moan of protest—a sound that tells us just how much donkeys hate having to toil for the benefit of humans. It is an implacable honk of slavery. My heart just bleeds for those guys. You can’t help but pity them.”


Like all towns in Western China, Hotan was segregated, with newer Chinese residents and the Uyghur majority living separately and rarely mixing. But with each year, more and more Chinese settlers were arriving in Xinjiang, urged on by the government’s view that large, permanent populations of Chinese in the country’s far west will act as an insurance policy to keep the province firmly in the Motherland’s fold. In my travels throughout Xinjiang, it was obvious that the Uyghurs had no love for, and little in common with, their Chinese masters.

In Kashgar, a huge television monitor had been erected in the main plaza, directly in front of the central mosque. This giant screen played Chinese Olympic events throughout the day and evening, yet was coldly ignored by the town’s residents. In any other part of the country, it would have been the site of much rooting and revelry, but no crowds gathered to cheer the Chinese athletes on, because most Uyghurs believe neither themselves nor their land to be part of China.

In Hotan, the Communist Party constructed a huge statue of Mao Tse Tung receiving Kurban Tulum, the old Uyghur man who is said to have traveled 1,500 kilometers across the desert on the back of his donkey to “thank” the great Premier for “liberating” his people, making him the only person in China to share statue with Mao. The Uyghurs are forced to see this every day, a constant reminder of who is in control of their destiny. That statue is an insult from the east; it only serves to rub their noses in the shit, and they hate it accordingly.

The citizens of Hotan seemed to chafe under Beijing more visibly than anywhere else we had been in the region. The frustration and hostility toward China and even the tourists they brought in was palpable. As we walked the streets that day, we were subject to hot glances and hard stares. The people we passed were all scowls and furrowed brows, and I could taste their anger and disgust. The air was literally heavy with dust, but it was also heavy with the peoples’ despair, which physically manifested itself in the form of that omnipresent, grey-brown cloud.

That evening we went for dinner at a tiny restaurant. We quietly munched on skewered lamb, thick noodles in savory broth, and the heavy naang bread served up everywhere in Xinjiang. Just two tables away sat a man and his wife, also eating dinner. The man sported a black mustache and wore a white skullcap, looking very much the part of a conservative and pious local Muslim. He sat facing us, and throughout the meal he glared our way with eyes afire. He ate slowly and said nothing to his wife, boring into us with an expression of pure, naked hatred. She chewed in silence as well, in the manner of a woman well accustomed to her husband’s foul turns of humor.

The next morning, we left our room for coffee and breakfast. A fresh, glistening yellow turd once again graced the courtyard’s drain grate. After eating, Simon went back to the hotel, and Sam and I headed to the travel desk of a large Chinese hotel in the center of town in an attempt to book a flight back to Shanghai. The pretty woman behind the desk spoke zero English; this went for everyone at the hotel, and was to be expected in Xinjiang province. With my tiny amount of Chinese I’d picked up during the trip, along with the guidebook—which contained the Chinese characters for all the place names—we managed to convey where and when we wished to travel, and soon our tickets were secured.

Our flight left from Ürümqi, Xinjiang’s capital city. How we would get there was still an open question. We could travel back to Kashgar and jump on the train—a two-day trip—or take the twenty-four-hour sleeper bus through the heart of the Taklimakan. The latter was the cheaper and more practical option, despite the fact that the “beds” on Chinese sleeper buses are generally designed for Chinese-sized people. Tall Westerners such as us find that it’s impossible to fully stretch our legs on such buses, and after a few hours, what is supposed to a comfortable ride becomes an endurance test aboard a rolling torture machine.

When we walked out of the hotel, we heard a man’s voice reverberating through the street.

Sam pointed: “Check it out.”

Across the road, a man was shouting. His cries were a high-pitched wail that seemed to erupt from the very core of his being. He was half-crawling down the sidewalk, carrying a young child in his arms. He was beyond distraught, drenched in misery and inconsolable desperation, appealing to the passersby for some sort of assistance, it seemed.

“What’s he doing?” Sam asked.

“Probably some sort of extreme begging.”

“Is the kid sick?”

“Could be,” I said. “Or maybe he just drags him out of the house to score sympathy points, like the beggar women with their naked babies on the sidewalks in Bangkok.”

“Hmmmm….” Sam pursed his lips, taking in the scene. “I wish I could understand what he’s saying.”

Puzzled by the man and his child, we walked back to the Happy Hotel to get Simon and then head for lunch.

“The smell is getting worse, I think.” Simon complained as we walked away from the effluvial complex. “I can’t stand it any longer… I can feel the typhoid taking root. This whole town is a shithole.”

“It’s not so bad,” I said, denying the obvious. “Besides, we still haven’t seen that much.”

“Well I’d like to see a restaurant soon,” said Sam. “I’m starving.”

“Okay,” I said. “What are you guys in the mood for?”

“How about some Chinese food?” asked Simon. “I’ve been eating nothing but mutton and bread for two weeks now and am well stopped up. I haven’t had a decent shit in yonks.”

“Yeah, I could do with some actual vegetables,” Sam said.

“And it would be nice to eat away from the glare of Al Qaeda sympathizers,” said Simon.

“Well then, Chinese it is.”

My pronouncement proved to be premature, however, as we soon discovered that actual Chinese restaurants were hard to come by in good ol’ Hotan. We walked around for over an hour in search of an open place serving up proper, oily Chinese grub, but kept coming up short. I would have never believed that one day I would have to look hard to find a Chinese restaurant in China, but this was only China by the loosest of definitions.

Eventually we happened upon an actual Chinese joint and were warmly greeted by the husband-and-wife owners when we stepped through the door. We were their only customers and ordered large, diving into a huge lunch of beef, chicken, and countless veggies, all fried up in heaps of oil in a big metal wok. We washed this feast down with ice-cold beer, far away from the disapproving glances of any local Muslims. For just that hour, we were back in China and glad for it.

After lunch we hiked to Hotan’s main traditional market in an attempt to flatten our now-distended bellies. The markets in the towns and cities of China sell everything, and are often the clearest glimpse into the character and soul of a place. Visiting the local market is always a must, and that of Hotan was no exception.

The market was located clearly on the Uyghur sides of the tracks. The men baked bread and sold intricate carpets, while the women manned the clothing stalls. Kabob smoke filled the air, causing my mouth to gush saliva, despite the fact that I was still nearly sick-full from lunch. Men sat at tables sipping tea and smoking cigarettes, eyeing us warily as we strolled by. The narrow streets were full of jostling locals buying and selling or just passing through on donkey carts or motorcycles. This was a real, working market—gritty, multihued, and expansive—all the mystical splendor of Central Asia laid out for us to see. Simon stopped here and there to snap photographs, while Sam and I walked and turned our heads in 180-degree arcs in an attempt to fully absorb the scene. Suddenly, Sam cried out: “OW!”

He stopped and put his hand on a spot on his upper back.

“What’s up, man?”

“Motherfucker…” He bent down and picked up a rock from the street. “Someone just threw a rock at me.”


“Someone chucked this rock at me and it hit me in the back.”

We turned around to spot the culprit, but no one stood out in the general hum of the scene.

“Did you see that?” Sam asked Simon who was just catching up.

“See what?”

“Did you see someone huck this rock at me?” He shook the stone in his fist.

“Naw, mate. I was taking photos of that hat stall. Why would someone throw a rock at you?”

“That is a very good question,” Sam said, releasing the rock, which fell onto the uneven street below.

We pressed on through the market, basking in the sights and smells, until we heard the familiar sound of man’s howling voice.

“Isn’t that the guy from before?” Sam said. “The one carrying the kid?”

I searched for the source, and just up ahead saw a cluster of people gathered around a man who was kneeling on the ground.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

Again he screamed to the sky, calling to God Himself for comfort. He still held the boy, only as we approached, we noticed that the child’s face was pale blue and his limbs stiffened.

We were wrong: this man wasn’t begging. He was absolutely crazed with grief. He had crawled all day through the dusty streets of Hotan, screaming out to God, carrying the body of his dead son.


Sam and I got out of Hotan as soon as we could—that night—to be certain. We abandoned the Happy Hotel, even though the rooms were paid up through the morning, and bought tickets on the first night sleeper bus back to Ürümqi. From there, two days later, we would fly back to Shanghai and then on to Korea, our home. Simon planned to tough it out in Hotan one more day before moving east, further along the southern Silk Road, all the way the route’s terminus in the lonely outpost of Golmud. I shook his hand, wished him well, and along with Sam, climbed onto the bus and squeezed my body into the micro-bed, settling in for the long ride across the Taklimakan.

Like most bus journeys in that part of the world, it took a near-eternity to get out of town. A bus doesn’t leave until it’s totally full, and this was no exception. I noticed that there were a few empty bed/seats, and hoped in futility that the driver would press on, but this, of course, was expecting too much. He stopped several times on the way out of town to pick up more passengers, at one point pulling over to the side of the highway while he loudly negotiated a fare over his cell phone.

We waited thirty minutes for these final passengers to arrive. They came by taxi, and got out, stashed their bags underneath, and proceeded to take the last four beds, which happened to be directly above us. Each of these men sported the requisite mustache and skullcap of the truly devout.

The bus jolted into gear, beginning its lengthy journey across one of the most inhospitable places on the planet. At the same time, one of the four men above began his monologue.

In loud and theatrical Uyghur, this young man proceeded to hold court among his three peers. He talked and they listened and he talked some more. From his mouth poured forth an uninterrupted cascade of passionate, guttural language. Every few minutes one of his rapt compatriots would humbly interject or finish a thought, but otherwise it was all about this one man and his one voice.

This went on for hours, building in a crescendo. From the frequent Allahs and Mohammeds peppered throughout this ongoing soliloquy, I managed to suss out the general subject of his rant. This guy was endowed as a religious authority by his friends and embraced it for all it was worth, delivering a several-hour sermon for all of the bus to hear. As I looked up at him, his black eyes were animated and ablaze; his chest heaved, and beads of sweat formed above his mustache. The man radiated zealotry. Several times, as if to prove his piety to the rest of the Muslims on the bus, he dismounted the upper berth and prostrated himself in prayer on the ground, only to return to his perch and sing.

I tried to block out this man’s tirade, but nothing I did could stem the tide. I tried to read from a book of short stories. I tried working on a crossword. I tried to nap. At one point Sam and I attempted to drown him out with our own loud American conversation (something about J.D. Salinger, I think, since it was his stories I was reading), but quickly lost focus and energy. I then tried to really concentrate on and enjoy the fantastically violent Uyghur-dubbed Rambo IV that played several times back-to-back on the coach’s TV, but nothing could block out the endless drone of this young man’s fervor. The only thing that gave me any kind of solace was a fantasy played out in my head that involving the use of long, sharp knives.

Eventually the Imam of the Bus simmered down, and like the rest of the passengers, fell into a light sleep. I tried to snooze as well, but the cramped quarters made this impossible. The only way to stretch out my legs was to thrust them out into the aisle, but the metal edge of the bed’s frame just cut into the bottom of my calf, creating a whole new annoying pain to reckon with.

The Taklimakan basin is home to China’s state-run petroleum industry. Most of the other vehicles on the road were oil trucks. The few settlements we passed through were all drilling stations: towering metal assemblies lit up by orange orbs; alien permanence among the ever-shifting dunes. The men that work such stations must be deeply acquainted with the dull ache of isolation and loneliness.

After many hours, we stopped at a wind-beaten outpost in the middle of the wasteland. It was a truck stop of sorts. A large building stood defiant against the perpetual onslaught of dust and sand. Inside the building was a small store and dingy restaurant, along with a brothel, glowing hard against the night in white-and-red neon. A dozen or so bored-looking prostitutes lingered on couches in front of the glass storefront. I lit a smoke and watched them, squinting in the grit-filled air. Several of the girls noticed my curiosity and jumped up, revealing slim hips stuffed into hot pants or miniskirts, cleavage, and brown legs. Wobbling in ridiculous platform heels, they rushed to the edge of the glass and hurriedly waved me over. I raised my hand and waved back. They lingered at the window, smiling, and beckoning with grand, arcing gestures. I went to wave again but gave up midway, dropping my arm and releasing my cigarette, which fell onto the dirt. I snuffed out the ember with my foot, turned, and walked away over the parched ground. As I re-boarded the bus, I tried not to think about the thousands of truckers and oil workers that had been in and out of those poor, poor girls.



In July of 2009, less than a year after our visit, Ürümqi was wracked by five days of ethnic rioting. What exactly set it off is up for debate, though many maintain that the unrest was in reaction to the murder of two Uyghurs in the southern city of Shaoguan. Uyghurs in Ürümqi reacted with protests that quickly turned into a rampage, with mobs attacking Han Chinese in the streets; they in turn organized and struck back accordingly, resulting in blood on both sides. Chinese authorities say 197 people were killed and 1,721 injured, though Uyghur exile groups maintain that the death toll is much higher. The crackdown was swift and harsh, with the Uyghurs bearing the brunt of it: Many men were detained and some “disappeared” in the police sweeps that followed.

The rioting seems to have poisoned the climate for Uyghur-Han relations, with things just getting worse since 2009. Recently Uyghur separatist groups staged bloody attacks within China, both inside and out of Xinjiang. In October 2013, a car driven by alleged Uyghur separatists plowed into a crowd at Tiananmen Square in Beijing, bursting into flames and killing five. Thirty-eight people were injured, including foreign tourists. In March 2014, a group of black-clad Uyghur men and women entered a train station in Kunming and attacked bystanders with knives, killing thirty-three and injuring more than a hundred. A month later, a similar attack was launched in Guangzhou, injuring six. In May 2014, two cars packed with explosives plowed through safety barricades and detonated in a busy street market in Ürümqi, killing thirty-one and injuring ninety. And on October 18th, 2014, just two days before I sent the final edit of this book to the publisher, four Uyghur attackers armed with knives and explosives killed eighteen Han Chinese at a farmers’ market near Kashgar.

The situation is clearly deteriorating, which is a shame, since travelers and tourists will avoid Xinjiang out of security concerns. And this is a region that could benefit from more foreign visitors, as both sides could reap the financial rewards that such tourism brings in. I also fear that the Chinese authorities will use the recent attacks as an excuse to further gentrify Xinjiang and suppress Uyghur culture. When we visited Kashgar in 2008, I was told that the entire old town—the real heart of the city—was slated for destruction in the name of Communist Party “progress.” The Chinese are very good at bulldozing, and an agitated Uyghur population may motivate them to do it as quickly and thoroughly as possible. Never underestimate the ability of China to completely accomplish its goals, both those noble and nefarious.

From the outside, China often appears to be this monolithic, rising, unstoppable force that will soon overtake the West. Many people accept this as a given—that it’s China’s turn, that their dominance is inevitable. But traveling inside the country gives you a different perspective. Sure, you can clearly see the outward displays of new wealth and power, and they are impressive. Just how far China has come can be a shock to some visitors. This is most evident in the big cities of the east. But as you move across the country and collect a larger sample, you begin to see cracks in the edifice. You see another China, a paper house held together with the flimsiest of glue. You see a country that may be just one big economic downturn away from coming apart at the seams. It’s a place full of unfathomable inequality and deep unrest, and when you see it firsthand, you understand why the Communist Party insists on keeping things so solidly under the boot. After all, if they let up for a moment, the whole thing could unravel, and then where would they be?

7 Korean Drinks You Need To Try Immediately

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There are an infinite number of reasons to visit Korea – whether it’s the art, the fashion, or the food, there’s truly something for every visitor to make a trip to Korea an amazing experience. What people don’t often talk about, however, are the amazing drinks that are found throughout Korea.

Like Korean meals and Korean snacks, Korean drinks are all insanely interesting and wildly different from one another. Whether you’re looking for something warm, something sweet, or something that’ll fill you up, read through our list below to figure out which Korean drink is perfect for you!

Korean Drink #1: Banana Milk


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Banana milk is one of the most popular beverages on this list by far – nearly one million bottles of banana milk are sold per day in South Korea! While it sounds kind of boring in theory (it truly is just banana flavored milk), something about the combination of sweet and savory notes in this Korean drink have ensured it has risen to popularity very quickly.

Initially, banana milk became popular because the government wanted to encourage South Koreans to drink more milk for their health. Pick up a banana milk the next time you see it so that you understand what all of the fuss is about!


Korean Drink #2: Sikhye


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Sikhye is a traditional Korean rice drink that’s as sweet as it is traditional – so sweet, in fact, that it’s often served as a dessert! This Korean drink contains cooked rice, which gives it an interesting texture as you get to the bottom, and has been served in Korean for centuries as a traditional end to a meal.

Drinking sikhye is such a rite of passage that you can even find it in bottles or cans in most Korean supermarkets! Pick up a can of sikhye (or order it in a restaurant) and treat yourself after your next big meal – you won’t be disappointed!


Korean Drink #3: Coffee Milk

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Oh, coffee milk. Where would we be without you? Coffee milk is pretty straightforward as far as Korean drinks go – literally coffee infused milk. It’s chock full of caffeine and is the perfect drink for when you have a long day ahead of you and need some extra energy. Not to mention, it’s sold in the cool packages in the photo above – how fun is that?

Pick up a couple of packages of coffee milk the next time you have a long week ahead of you (or if you need some extra energy to explore Seoul) – just remember to throw the packages out when you’re done playing with them!


Korean Drink #4: Milkis

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The milkis tagline, “new feeling of soda beverage,” is NOT lying — milkis is definitely unlike any drink you’ve ever had up until this point. Milkis is a Korean drink that combines carbonation, milk, and corn syrup, so what you’re left with is a fizzy, sweet drink that’s oddly refreshing at the same time.

Although the classic, unflavored milkis is great on its own, you can also find this Korean drink in a variety of fruit flavors ranging from strawberry to banana to keep things interesting. You can find milkis in eclectic grocery stores around the world, so you don’t even have to wait until your next trip to Korea to try this Korean drink! Be sure to let us know what you think of your first milkis experience in the comments below.


Korean Drink #5: Omija tea


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The omija berry is named for its unique blend of flavors (‘omija’ literally translates to five-flavor), so it’s no surprise that tea made from the omija berry is versatile as well. While it can be enjoyed on its own or with honey as a sweetener, omija tea can also be flavored with mung beans or flowers to turn it into a variety of punches.

This tea is perfect for when you feel a cold or the flu coming on – it supposedly has a range of medicinal properties that keep colds at bay. According to traditional Korean medicine, omija tea may even help restore the liver over time! I recommend you try classic omija tea before trying one of its variations so you can get a feel for the unique flavor profile of the omija berry.


Korean Drink #6: Chrysanthemum Tea

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Yes, you read that correctly! Chrysanthemum tea is a popular (and incredibly beautiful) Korean drink that’s a crowd favorite for good reason. To make this very visually appealing tea, dried flowers are steeped in honey for several months and then brewed with hot water, producing a light and slightly sweet tea full of flower blossoms.

Both delicious and fun to look at, this tea is a huge hit in the cold winter months while colds are running rampant. We’re not sure if there are actual medicinal properties or if drinking something beautiful makes you feel awesome – either way, we’ll take it! Pour yourself a cup of chrysanthemum tea and experience a Korean drink you won’t want to miss.


Korean Drink #7: Bacchus


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If you need a pick-me-up and coffee milk isn’t cutting it, give Bacchus a try! Bacchus is an energy drink often compared to Red Bull – though its creators originally intended for it to be used as a way to combat hangovers, it’s now marketed as a hardcore energy drink for people who really need a boost. Grab a bottle of Bacchus the next time you’re in a convenience store that sells it – you’ll have a hard time sitting still for the rest of the day, but you certainly won’t complain about being too tired!


Have you tried all of the Korean drinks on this list? Be sure to tell us all about your favorite in the comments below (or all about your favorite Korean drink if it’s not featured in the article)! We’re always excited to try something new.

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Into the Wild West: Part 2

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The Olympic Spirit Comes to Kashgar

“The security forces are here,” whispered Hamish. “They’re on every street corner. You can fuckin’ well guarantae it. You just have to know how to spot them.”

As his name suggests, Hamish was Scottish, and spoke with a heavy brogue. He sipped from a can of Coke while he fiddled with a small, expensive-looking video camera.

“I thought this place would be in lockdown,” I said, “after what happened.”

“Not with the Olympics on, mate. The whole world is watching China right now, and you can bet they’ll put their best face forward. Any real reprisals will have to wait until the glare of the spotlight has been removed. Once everyone’s packed up the cameras and gone home—that’s when the heads will roll. But I’m not gaein’ anywhere. I’m stayin’ right here.” He gave his own camera a little shake, for effect.

We were in the town of Kashgar, sitting at the courtyard café of the Chini Bagh Hotel—the gathering place for the smattering of Kashgar’s tourists and expats—as well as our headquarters for the next few days. The massive compound occupied the grounds of the former British Consulate and was of the few places in town that housed foreign travelers.

The Western media always seem to describe the country’s Uyghur population as “restive”—a word utilized so often that it’s become the default adjective when discussing the region. Despite its overuse, it’s not an inaccurate description, since the Uyghurs clearly bristle at the heavy-handed Chinese rule. In fact, just two days before our arrival there was an attack on Chinese security forces. Sixteen cops were killed by two Uyghur radicals in a combined grenade/knife assault. The assailants were apprehended at the scene and dragged away, where they disappeared into the bowels of the state security apparatus and surely faced a nasty, brutal fate.

We were about to leave Ürümqi on the day of the attack, but the trains were held up due to “sandstorms.” Two days later, we were allowed to move on, and after a twenty-four-hour trip, we now found ourselves in this ancient Silk Road city. I was sure the place would be under martial law, but things were strangely normal, at least on the surface. As the Scottish journalist Hamish said, the Chinese needed to keep up appearances. It was the opening day of the 2008 Olympics, and they weren’t about let it be marred by a couple of Uyghur extremists.

Kashgar has been a vital city for centuries, serving as the seat of the Uyghur Empire and the meeting place of both the northern and southern silk routes that skirted the Taklimakan Desert. Stepping into Kashgar is to be, at times, transported to an exotic past. The film The Kite Runner was shot in the city’s old town, a picturesque stand-in for pre-Taliban Kabul, with its rabbit warren of alleys and ancient buildings. It’s a very traditional place, where the men wear skullcaps and the women cover their heads with beautiful, colorful scarves. While moderate when compared to some other Muslims, the people in and around Kashgar are still quite observant. The city’s main mosque—a looming, yellow structure—is mobbed with men during Friday prayers. Donkeys and carts are the chief mode of transportation. The houses are mostly made of mud and supported by wooden beams. Everywhere are locals selling melons and freshly made bread, known as naang. Bread is not just important in Uyghur culture: it is sacred. To step or sit on bread crumbs is a cultural taboo, a kind of blasphemy. Steve joked about insolent, rebellious Uyghur teens, hanging out on street corners, smoking cigarettes, and crushing bits of bread under their derrieres. We imagined some them picking up guitars and forming a punk band called “The Crumb Sitters.”

That afternoon we explored the town’s labyrinthine streets, walking past the many haberdasheries and restaurants serving up steaming bowls of langman, their staple noodle dish. Wafting smoke from grilled mutton was a constant and made our mouths gush: we eventually gave into temptation and took a few savory skewers down. The streets were alive with people—buying, selling, walking, working, or just hanging out. As we ambled through the shaded alleys, we were followed by throngs of children dressed in brightly colored clothing. Some of them—both boys and girls—had shaved heads, a lice-prevention measure. These kids begged not for money, but for photographs. They were fascinated by our digital cameras, and screeched and squealed as they crowded around the screen to get a look at the photos they posed for. They wanted us to take photo after photo. They couldn’t get enough—like the dog who never wants to end his game of fetch. At one point, we had to literally try to outrun the kids, who, when we stopped, grabbed our arms and shirttails and hung on with all they had.

That night the three of us went to back the one restaurant attached to the compound—John’s Travelers’ Cafe— where we drank bottles of watery beer, nibbled on oily piles of stir-fried vegetables, pork, and beef, and took in the full spectacle of the Olympic Opening Ceremony with the rest of the Kashgar’s truly international crowd. About twenty of us sat in the cafe’s wobbly plastic blue chairs, cheering each other’s countries as the teams paraded across the small television screen set up in front. When the camera zoomed in on the dopy visage of George W. Bush, the café erupted in a chorus of boos, most virulently trumpeted forth by our trio of liberal Americans. I ended up sitting with a group of English guys who, after enough beers, began hurling abuse at everyone both on the screen and in the café. I like this idea of affectionate insults and, as a result, often find Brits good company.

The ceremony lasted a good three hours, with coverage and previews afterwards. We continued to make merry. We were eventually joined by Chris and Ian. Chris was an Aussie who was working as a travel guide for rich, middle-aged tourists along the Trans-Siberian Railway. He was enjoying his downtime by doing a little touring himself. Ian was from Tennessee and taught English in China. He claimed to be wanted by the IRS for eighty thousand dollars in unpaid taxes.

“Hell, I might live and die right here in China,” he said between sips. “I can never go home again.”

When the staff tired of us and John’s eventually closed, we ended up in the courtyard of one of the compound’s grungier buildings, which also happened to be the permanent home of a bunch of guys from neighboring Pakistan, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan. We non-Muslims had been drinking for hours and were good and sauced. The café may have kicked us out, but the party’s heart was still beating. At one point someone handed me a guitar and I drunkenly serenaded all of Kashgar with howling renditions of rock standards. Nirvana figured in prominently. Some of the Muslim guys came down and joined us, and before I knew it I was arm in arm with a huge bearded Afghani, pledging international love, brotherhood, and world peace.


Up and Down the Karakorum Highway

I woke up to banging.

“Yo! Time to get up!”

Someone was pounding on the door. I jerked up, shook myself awake, and ran my hands through my hair.

“It’s time, boys!” It was Steve’s voice. He knocked some more. “Wakey wakey!”

Sam put a pillow over his head and groaned in agony.

“Yeah, yeah… we’ll be right there,” I shot back.

Sam was a wreck, passed out on his bed without pants, but still wearing his boxers and white tennis shoes. He had raged through the night with a handful of other travelers and was now gripped by a hangover of Nagasakian proportions. I’d taken the evening off and was glad for it; I’d enjoyed a nice, sober sleep, and so had Steve, who also had his own room and was always the earliest riser. He continued his knocking.

“Well hurry up. I’ll be down at the café getting some breakfast.”

“Sure thing.”

I kicked Sam on the soles of his Nikes and ripped the pillow from his head.

“Wake up, asshole. And for the love of God, put some pants on.”

“Urnnnngggg… huh?”

I picked up his jeans from the floor and fired them his way. They landed on his face, which helped to rouse him. In ten minutes, he had them on and the both of us were seated in the café, next to Steve, staring at the menu. Steve sipped coffee, nibbled toast, and worked on a crossword. Sam looked brain-dead and was likely seeing in duplicate, but he managed to order some eggs, and this was a good thing. We needed our sustenance, because after breakfast we were heading up the highest highway in the world.

Our driver’s name was Bao. He was a compulsively laughing Chinese man whose rank breath was an affront to all things living: it smelled like a cocktail of road kill, cigarettes, and dog shit. To make matters worse, he drove like a thrill-junkie high on bath salts. Like so many Chinese drivers, he piloted his vehicle with a surging insanity, careening down the road as if his very manhood was at stake. Bao drove as fast as possible at every moment, laying on ten-second horn blasts to warn any other motorists, pedestrians, cyclists, dogs, cats, goats, or donkeys in the vicinity that he was pushing through. He passed ore-laden dump trucks on blind curves with thousand-foot drop-offs without blinking. He screamed over mountain passes slick with mist and condensation. It seemed he had a death wish; more than once, I had flashes of twisted metal, mutilated flesh, and shattered bones. Was this all worth it? Did I really want to die on the road in one of the most remote corners of Asia?

The Karakoram Highway links Kashgar with Pakistan’s capital, Islamabad. On the Chinese side, the road starts by shooting through the arid flatland of the desert—past dusty Uyghur towns packed with donkeys, chickens, and melon carts—before climbing toward the Pakistani border. This atmospheric route jumps over the continentally dominating mass of Kunlun, Pamir, and Karakoram Ranges—all of which converge atop one of the mightiest plateaus on the planet. This area is most famous for K2, the mountain which claimed had the lives of eleven climbers just a week before our journey. We never got within eyeshot of this deadly peak, but we did manage to skirt two of her impressive sisters, Kongur Tagh and Muztag Ata—both behemoths in their own right.

The road slowly rose into the mountains through brilliant red desert hills—reminiscent of the American Southwest—and then entered a sheer gorge, down which the Gez River tumbled in a violent froth. A few pedestrian suspension bridges crossed the canyon, linking the highway with the hardscrabble stone villages on the other side. I was astounded that people were able to eke out a living in such a hostile environment. Things looked tough enough in the summer; the winters must be brutal.

Soon we were stopped at a military checkpoint—one of several on the route—involving stone-faced soldiers sporting flak jackets and automatic weapons. There were sandbags and a couple of armored vehicles on hand. With the Olympics on, security was tight, especially given that the Karakoram Highway is China’s one link to that hotbed of arms and extremism known as Pakistan. One of the men—clad in a camouflage uniform and wearing a helmet—checked our passports, along with Bao’s paperwork, before gruffly waving us through.

The road wound out of the gorge and continued to rise. At this point the elements began punish the hapless pavement. Rivulets ran over the surface of the road like a streambed, partially washing it out in some places. Large rocks sat defiantly on the roadway, deposited there by the water flows and periodic slides.

We were now solidly in the mountains. The temperature dropped and the air became wetter, with periodic patches of mist and grey clouds pouring over the ridges and peaks. The landscape then opened up into a wide valley, with a few small settlements and free-roaming horses in the frost-scarred fields. To our left stood the fattest mountain I’d ever seen, a rocky gargantuan that dwarfed everything nearby. Its top was shrouded in clouds, and much of its rocky face was covered in snow. A few glaciers stretched toward the earth like long white fingers, the beginnings of rivers seeping from their tips.

“Kongur Tagh!” Bao pointed and shouted over the warbling Chinese tunes blasting forth from the van’s cassette player.

“Holy shit,” said Sam.

The three of us stared agog, gut-punched by the mountain’s glory.

Eventually the road entered a huge drainage full of grey runoff and glacial melt, an upper holding tank for the Gez River. Bao pulled over for a pit stop and we got out for a short break. A pack of merchants had set up on the roadside, selling trinkets and handmade rugs. “Kyrgyz,” Bao said, motioning toward them. As soon as we stepped out of the van, we were enveloped by these desperate hawkers, who buzzed around us like hungry mosquitoes. The high mountains are a difficult place to scratch out a living. No creature is immune, and this breeds desperation in all. These Kyrgyz were no exception; they were relentless in their pursuit of a sale. They just swarmed us and repeated the one word in English they had mastered: “This? This? This? This?”

In the end I succumbed to “This?” and bought two small rugs woven from yak hair, but my purchase only served to kindle the fire of the other sellers. They followed me every step I took—grabbing my arms and jostling with each other until I managed to make it back into the shelter of the van—and even then, the rabble banged on the windows and shouted while displaying their wares. These people were hard poor, and stared through the tinted glass with sad, starving hope.

After four hours on the Karakorum Highway, we arrived at Karakul Lake, a glacial-fed alpine reservoir that has become a regular stopover for travelers. Bao dropped us off at the main Kyrgyz settlement on the near shore of the glassy lake. This village consisted of a couple of dilapidated buildings and a cluster of yurts. A young Kyrgyz man met our driver and led us to a vacant yurt. His name was Sereket. He wore a filthy red jacket and black baseball cap. His features were pointy and sharp, his small black eyes friendly and smart. He spoke some English, and once we negotiated a price (meals included), he handed us the keys to our very own yurt.

“What about Bao?” I asked, nodding to our driver.

“He come back tomorrow,” said Sereket. “He stay other place.”

Bao smiled and waved as he got back into the van. He started it up and shot off, peeling out in the gravel. A plume of dust followed the dirty black van as it screamed up the dirt road toward the main highway.

“At least now he’ll only kill himself if he careens off the road,” remarked Steve.

This Kyrgyz village was an actual village—a real, lived-in place—despite the fact that they hosted tourists. It was my first time in a yurt, and it was tidy and inviting: colorful rugs covered the floor, and the rental fee included a fat pile of blankets. The yurt also contained a small metal wood-burning stove in the middle, with a chimney sprouting up through the roof. It was pleasant and cozy and looked like a good place to spend the night, but once I stepped outside, I was greeted with a less-inviting world. The village was nasty, a living garbage dump. Animal and human feces littered the ground, along with trash of all stripes—beer and soft-drink bottles, bits of plastic and paper, discarded clothing, motorcycle tires, and animal bones. The squalor was real, but contained to the area where the people lived. The natural wonder that surrounded the village was staggering in scope—goliath peaks, endless sky, a pure, glacial lake—and luckily the villagers’ hygienic shortcomings did little to diminish the area’s greater effect.

Also, like the roadside carpet hawkers, the touts were unstoppable. As soon as I emerged from my rented yurt-dominium, they converged like zombies. Dead-eyed women held up carpets and mumbled, “Yes? Yes?” Men dangled trinkets and baubles and necklaces in front of my nose when I attempted to breathe in the cold air and absorb the view of the lake. Personal space and privacy meant nothing. “No buy, no buy,” I said firmly, shaking my head. But these hawkers were undeterred: they followed me as I walked away and thrust their goods back in my face when I returned. These were the most persistent touts I’d ever encountered, anywhere. Summer is brief in the Pamirs: it’s the only time the tourists come. The villagers know this, and they milk the teat for all it’s worth, pushing their goods on an endless sales-pitch loop. They’ll even attempt to barter. One man walked up to me holding a massive crystalline geode. It was a giant hunk of geology, a dark stone broken open, with a thick purple-and-white bloom of crystals inside. It was gorgeous but looked impossibly heavy; the skinny old dude visibly struggled as he placed it on ground for my inspection.

“Very nice,” I said, leaning in.

The man gestured to me: Will you buy?

It was a brilliant, mesmerizing stone, and for a moment I savored the thought of a purchase before the practical side of my mind assumed command.

“Sorry. No, no buy. Very heavy.” I pantomimed lifting the thing.

The man then looked toward my feet. I was wearing a brand-new pair of hiking boots purchased for this trip—a two-hundred-dollar set of footwear. He pointed to my boots and then pointed at the geode, offering a trade. I looked at his shoes: they were in a sorry state, beaten to hell and hardly ideal for such taxing surroundings. Quality boots must be a prized possession in such an environment and I felt for the man, but politely walked on. After all, I needed my boots. I couldn’t wear a cluster of crystals.

At one point I asked our host, the impish Sereket, where I could find the nearest toilet. He gleefully pointed me in the right direction, without a hint of shame on his face. Now I understood that I was in China, which, let’s face it, has some of the worst toilets in the world: on this particular trip, I’d shat in open, filthy, collective troughs (just inches from other men) which were flushed out every minute or so, blasting whole cascades of crap right underneath; I’d pooed in reeking, fly-swarmed squatters, and once even evacuated into a tarpaulin-covered ditch on the roadside, next to a rotting dog carcass. Yes, I was in China—Western China—in a mountain village without running water or even electricity, let alone sewers. My expectations were pretty low… but I was still not prepared for the horror which I was about to face. The toilet—or WC, as they’re universally labeled throughout the traveling world—was little more than a shack that covered a creaky wooden platform built over a pit. Three holes were cut into the platform, with black shit towers rising out of each at least a foot above the rim of the holes. The pit below had been filled to capacity. Things had gotten so that most people forwent the holes altogether and shat anywhere in the shack they could, resulting in countless turds littering the dirt floor and other parts of the platform. You could barely walk without hitting one. I later found out that most villagers had given up on the toilet altogether, electing to crap in the field behind the yurts instead, which resulted in a veritable minefield of human excrement.

What was abundantly clear was that the WC needed a thorough shoveling-out, but no one in the village (understandably) was willing to undertake the task. In my opinion, the best course of action would have been to drench the thing in mutton fat and burn it to the ground.

Soon after arriving in the village, Sam crawled into his sleeping bag to sleep off his booze binge from the night before; Steve and I decided to take a hike around the lake. It was a great afternoon walk, though I felt myself gulping for air in the thin atmosphere. Oxygen was scarcer at such elevation, and it was difficult to get a really satisfying breath. At one point, we scurried partway up the loose scree of the mountainside to get a good view of the turquoise water below. The panorama was impressive, giving us a sense of the sheer scale of the place. Just northeast of the lake, Muztag Atta stared down. She was nearly as huge as her sister, Kongur Tagh. Steve and I sat on the rocks and gazed back, looking permanence in the face, filled with a thrilling sense of both wonder and dread.

As we continued our hike, bruise-colored clouds blew up the valley, suddenly menacing our afternoon outing. The wind sliced through our meager summer clothing and into our flesh like blades of ice; soon the clouds opened up with a frigid rain. We were stuck in the open without umbrellas or raincoats: Steve hadn’t packed any, and I’d left mine behind in our hotel in Ürümqi. Our luck prevailed, however, in the form of a villager and his horse, who, for a few yuan, offered us a ride. Steve and I mounted the grey mare while its minder walked, leading us back to the village and the warmth of our yurt.

We returned only to find Sam wrapped in his sleeping bag with several blankets on top. He was near comatose. The rain had chilled Steve to the bone and turned his mood foul. Like Sam, he made himself into a human blanket burrito and set about trying to warm up. He was soaked and shivering. Young Sereket pulled up on his motorbike and entered the yurt. He started a fire in the woodstove, which took an eternity to heat up, eventually providing a modicum of warmth. I sat down just inches away and basked in the welcome radiation of the wood fire’s heat.

Whether Sereket was determined to be a good host or just wanted to escape the constriction his mother’s yurt—which he also shared with his sister and her baby—was anyone’s guess. After he lit the fire, we assumed that he’d head out, but he stuck around, stretching out on the floor and endlessly yapping into his cell phone in whiny and guttural Kyrgyz. A girl’s voice drifted from the speaker. Sam and Steve lay in silence while I sat and sipped from a bottle of whisky I’d brought along—which, along with the wood fire, succeeded in warming my insides. Sereket chatted and chatted away for over an hour and a half, impervious to Steve’s groans of protest.

“Was that your girlfriend?” I asked.

“Yes,” Sereket blushed.

“Would you like some whisky?” I held out the bottle.

“No. I am Muslim. It is forbidden.”

“Fair enough,” I said, taking another pull.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. “Is time for dinner.”

“I’m starving…” groaned Sam.

“Not me. I’m not leaving this yurt,” moaned Steve.

Sereket mounted his dented bike and kicked it into life, while Sam and I followed on foot. We walked through the cold drizzle and over a rocky rise to the second part of the village, made up several concrete yurts. This area was much cleaner, with little refuse on the ground and no human shit—definitely the good side of the tracks. Sereket’s mother lived in one of these more permanent structures, where she served us hot milky tea, followed by huge bowls filled with a kind of buttery Central Asian pasta. It was hearty and delicious, the type of food eaten by people living in a place that even drops below freezing on summer nights. We were also joined by his shy sister and her very new baby. I didn’t ask where the men were. His mother had a soft, gentle way, with a smile and voice that matched. Once we finished up, she laid out a few of her hand-woven carpets and tapestries.

“Maybe tomorrow,” I said, smiling.

“We’ll bring our friend,” Sam said, setting Steve up. “He is very rich.”

Sereket’s eyes glowed at the prospect.

After leaving, Sereket ushered us along the path, back to the humbler side of the village that we were calling home. Once we got back to the yurt, I was expecting him to bid us goodnight and be on his way, but again he came in with us and made himself comfortable, plopping on the floor and calling his girlfriend once again for another interminable puppy-dog conversation. I got the impression that he hung out in this yurt every day, with guests or without. After all, he had the keys.

“How was dinner?” Steve asked. His spirits had improved.

“Great,” Sam said. “You missed out.”

“I should have come. I got hungry and ended up going to the little restaurant near the village entrance, which was a mistake. It was the direst bowl of noodles I’ve ever eaten. I couldn’t finish it.”

“We were properly stuffed with some homemade, Kyrgyz stodge,” I added, rubbing it in. “His mother makes beautiful rugs. You should check them out in the morning.”

“That’s great and all,” Steve said, “but can she knit me a cheeseburger?”

He then motioned to Sereket and lowered his voice: “For fuck’s sake, does he just plan on staying here all night?”

“Maybe so,” I shrugged.

“He lives with his mother, sister, and her baby in a yurt,” said Sam. “I’m sure he’s just happy to be out of the house.”

Sereket was an oddball, with dark, clever eyes and a mischievous grin. He was motivated and ambitious, and had obviously ingratiated himself with the drivers who ferried in the trickle of tourists from Kashgar. His English was self-taught and minimal, but enough to communicate with the people who came to stay in his village. While I understood Steve’s annoyance with Sereket’s continual presence in our yurt, part of me was glad to have him around. The three of us were run down from a combination travel, altitude, drink, and the elements, but Sereket seemed invincibly happy. He helped to cheer up our gloomy little world.

Eventually Sereket left. By this point, we were wrapped up in our sleeping bags and blankets, totally spent, craving only sleep. I heard him walk out the door into the rainy night, start up his dilapidated motorcycle, and putter away, back to the cramped confines of his mom’s concrete yurt. We lay on the ground, staring up into the dark, listening to the rain hit the woolen domed roof. The only other sound was the lull of a man’s voice floating in from the neighboring structure. Though I couldn’t understand the mysterious language, I knew it at once as poetry. It was lyrical and metric, delivered with reverence. From the frequent utterances of “Allah” and “Mohammed,” I took it to be passages from the Koran. The man was reciting holy verses to his family, before they, and we, drifted off to sleep.




The next morning, we had more yak milk tea and the Uyghur version of bagels back at Sereket’s mother’s place. We were joined by our driver, Bao. The bagels were incredibly thick and hard, with “the density of a neutron star,” according to Steve, who joined us for the meal. They were only rendered chewable after a prolonged dip in the steaming hot tea.

After breakfast, Sereket’s mother laid out her handicrafts and her son made the pitch; Steve bargained hard, but in the end walked away with an impressive, hand-woven carpet.

“Where do you go?” asked Sereket as we shook hands.


“Oh. You meet Tajik people. See fortress.”

We said our goodbyes, boarded the van, and shot off with our mentally unbalanced driver for a cruise further up the highway through some of the most stunning country yet.

Just as we were leaving Karakul Lake we saw two Western travelers by the side of the road. They were packing up their bags outside of a yurt of their own.

“Don’t we know those guys?” asked Sam.

“Hey Bao,” I said. “Stop here.”

It was Chris and Ian, whom we had met at John’s Café in Kashgar.

I leaned out of the passenger-side window. “Howdy strangers.”

Chris was stuffing some clothes in his pack and looked up. “G’day.”

“Well sheeit,” said Ian, Tennessee twang in full swing. “Did y’all stay here last night?”

“Yeah, down on the lake shore,” I answered.

“Damn… I wished we’d have known.”

“How was it?” asked Chris.

Steve replied: “Wet and cold.”

“Same here.”

“Y’all headin’ up to Tashkurgan?” Ian inquired.

“Yeah,” I said. “We want to check out the fortress. Have you been?”

“Yeah,” said Chris. “We went up there yesterday.”

“How was it?” asked Steve.

Ian put his hand on his hips and shook his head. “Y’all can go if ya want, but there ain’t much to see. It’s just a pile of rocks.”

“It is a beautiful drive,” admitted Chris.

“Yeah… it’s nice drivin’, and all,” continued Ian. “But that fortress? It’s just a pile of rocks.”

Tashkurgan is the end of the line, the last main town before Pakistan, and an ancient trading post. The Chinese wouldn’t let us continue on without the proper visa and no doubt some other onerous permits issued by the local Public Security Bureau, the government cops who regulate travel through “sensitive areas,” of which there were many in the summer of 2008. The place is mainly occupied by Tajik people—close cousins of Persians known for their tall hats, fierce tempers, and large hook noses. There is little in the way of tourist diversions in the town, save taking in the ruins of an ancient fortress.

On the way to Tashkurgan we went through another military checkpoint, this one more sinister than the first. Again, we were all made to get out of the vehicle and present our passports and travel permits. A dour military officer questioned Bao in Chinese. I understood just one word from his response: Meiguo, or “American.” When the officer heard this, his expression turned grave. He slowly perused our documents, repeatedly looking at the photos and faces and back again, examining each stamp and visa for the slightest irregularity. Two soldiers—each clutching a Chinese AK-47—came up just inches behind our backs. The one nearest to me was a towering, broad-shouldered brute. He stood so close that I could nearly feel his breath on my neck, as he menacingly clicked the safety switch on his rifle on and off, on and off.

After about fifteen minutes we were allowed to press on. We drove along a vast, flat region, rimmed with even bigger mountains. A couple of tiny villages dotted the plains, like clusters of dollhouses against the imposing landscape. We then switched back up even higher, until the road came to a slick pass absorbed in moist white clouds. The surroundings took on an eerie, otherworldly flavor, and the road was covered with visible patches of snow and ice. These treacherous conditions did nothing to deter Bao, who pressed on at terminal speeds, chain smoking and singing along with his stupid tapes. I felt the blood pour out of my face. I looked to both Steve and Sam, who were just as scared as me. We were now screaming along the highest highway in the world, when in fact we were in no hurry to get anywhere.

Steve erupted first: “SLOW DOWN!” he yelled. “SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!”

Sam and I joined in: “SLOW DOWN!”

We all pressed our hands down in unison, making our point absolutely clear. Bao gave us a sheepish grin and lay off the gas pedal… slightly. We were paying him to deliver us in one piece, and he was putting everything at risk. He lost some face, but a lot more was at stake.

Bao managed to get us to Tashkurgan safely, just in time for lunch. I wanted to try Tajik food, but he instead brought us to a tattered joint owned and run by people he knew—Chinese—which I’m sure was the plan all along. The meal was oily and unremarkable but did the trick, and after lunch he took us out to see the fortress, driving us to the back side to avoid the entrance fee. He stopped the van, pointed, and signaled for us to get our cameras out. We obliged him and shot away.

Ian was right. The vaunted fortress was indeed “just a pile of rocks”—so ruined and rubble-strewn that it held little interest for the three of us—historical and architectural philistines that we were. After a few clicks I looked at the shots on my camera and realized there was no way to make the object come alive, so instead I pointed my lens in the opposite direction, shooting the herd of yaks grazing in the brilliantly green field to the side of the road.

You don’t have to guess which side gave me the better photo.

Britain’s not full; You’re just empty

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Britain is full!

The United Kingdom is so full of radical “muslamics”, scrounging economic migrants posing as refugees, and weird ex-soviet gypsies that there is literally no green or pleasant land left to stand on.

So desperate are the vast swathes of asylum seekers over in Calais for the £35.39p a week the government bestows upon them that the native born Brits are being shoved off of England’s clouded hills and pushed out into the freezing, polluted seas…

Clearly a literal interpretation of this argument is absurd.

Of the 64 million people living in the UK, only 8.3 million, or 13.1 per cent of the entire population were born overseas according to the latest estimates from the Migrant Observatory at the University of Oxford. That means 43 in every 50 people living in Ol’ Blighty were actually born here.

So in a very real sense, Britain isn’t full of anyone expect Britons.

Nevertheless, some would have you believe that we can’t accept any more refugees because the country’s economy and services are at breaking point. They say asylum seekers are scroungers living off of your coin, yet at the same time they‘re somehow taking all of ‘our’ jobs. Others dilute the vast complexities of the European Union into a squabble over Britain’s borders.

In these times of relentless austerity and the contradictory fear mongering amongst the establishment’s Brexits and Bremains, the “Britain is full” argument could almost sound credible. Look closer however and you’ll find anyone who actually raises this point is either egregiously misinformed, hoping to divert our attention from other dastardly deeds, or just in need of a dictionary.

Take a look at Westminster. Take a good hard look at the people responsible for running the show. They don’t much look like refugees or economic migrants, do they. In fact, of the 650 MPs in Westminster 590 of them are white British men.

Take a look at the Conservative MPs – 48% of whom were privately educated compared to just 7% of the overall population. They are the ones responsible for slashing the funds to our essential public services like the NHS, mental health treatment, pensions and benefits to poor families, the disabled, the unemployed, etc, etc.

At the same time as gutting the social support to those most in need, they have allowed billions of pounds to be siphoned out of the economy and into the Swiss bank accounts of fewer and fewer people by cutting the taxes of large corporations and flogging off public assets to dubious companies like G4S on the cheap. “Britain must live within its means”, they say, yet hundreds of billions of pounds is coughed up to fund catastrophic military misadventures in oil rich countries and on replacing Trident, a vanity project which Reuters estimates is likely to cost in excess of £160 billion.  

Austerity is a political choice, and an especially dubious one when the money to help those most in need is so clearly available. And yet the government, UKIP, most of the press, Facebook fascists like Britain First, and the pseudo-intellectuals at Migrant Watch UK choose to ignore this. Instead of directing their anger at those with the power to fund our services properly, they point the blame at foreigners and maintain that “Britain is full.”

Parliament Square transformed into a 'graveyard of lifejackets' using 2,500 lifejackets worn by refugees crossing from Turkey to the Greek island of Chios surround Churchill's statue at Parliament Square, London. The event is in support of refugees and coincides with the UN Migration Summit.

Parliament Square transformed into a ‘graveyard of lifejackets’ using 2,500 lifejackets worn by refugees crossing from Turkey to the Greek island of Chios surround Churchill’s statue at Parliament Square, London. The event is in support of refugees and coincides with the UN Migration Summit.

A major problem is that Britons of all political persuasions tend to “greatly overestimate the number of immigrants in the country”, according to a 2015 survey by IPSOS MORI. And with the way the media tends to cover migrants, it isn’t hard to see why.

All manner of neoliberal horrors are being perpetrated by the current government, however, instead of investigating the root causes of inequality the press would much rather focus on a non-existent Romanian invasion, portray British muslims as ISIS loving fundamentalists, boil down human lives to nothing more than an economic cost on the taxpayer, or dehumanise refugees.

After the Sun published a hideously bitter Katie Hopkins editorial last year in which she referred to refugees as cockroaches, the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein urged the UK government to closely examine the incident in terms of hate speech. They didn’t, of course. And neither did the Independent Press Standards Organisation do much about it, despite receiving hundreds of complaints.

However, Murdoch’s rag was far from the only paper to raise the High Commissioner’s concerns. He added, “Asylum seekers and migrants have, day after day, for years on end, been linked to rape, murder, diseases such as HIV and TB, theft, and almost every conceivable crime and misdemeanour imaginable in front-page articles and two-page spreads, in cartoons, editorials, even on the sports pages of almost all the UK’s national tabloid newspapers.”

Perhaps we expect too much of the corporate media. At the end of the day, their raison detre is to make money. In their bid to make more profits from advertising, truth and accuracy are set aside in favour of a wild, profit-driven race to the bottom where ever more ludicrous and outrageous stories are printed in order to ply on their readers’ irrational fears and latent prejudices. Like a heroin dealer or the arms trade, the media barons care little for the effects their products have on humanity and the political hyperreality they create.

Studies have shown that UK’s foreign born population are less likely to be receiving out of work benefits, partly because they are not always entitled to them in the first place. While it has been shown that migrants are slightly more likely to claim tax credits, a 2014 study by the UCL’s Centre for Research and Analysis of Migration concludes that the UK’s recent foreign born population “have contributed far more in taxes than they have received in benefits.”  

Assuming that all foreigners who enter the country are unworthy of shelter, health care, education, child support, or the opportunity to work is a denial of their humanity. Why is it that we who happen to have been pushed from our mothers on this particular bit of land are privileged to more rights and benefits than those who emerged on some other piece of land? Why should those who happened to have moved across arbitrarily drawn, imaginary lines on a map and ended up in the Calais jungle have their shanty houses raised and their human rights denied?

There is plenty of room over here to settle the approximately 5000 desperate souls hanging out in Calais permanently or at least temporarily. It is not the finances our government lacks, but the political will and basic human compassion.

Britain is not full!

A note from the editor-in-chimp: I wrote this one originally for the Morning Star. Give ’em a read, eh!

The post Britain’s not full; You’re just empty appeared first on Monkeyboy Goes.




Kahuku Fried Coconut Shrimp

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This is a sweet and crispy shrimp recipe. This was the most popular dish at the Kahuku Grill in Hawaii.



  • Ten Medium to large shrimp – skinned and deveined
  • ¼ c flour (for batter) + extra flour for dipping
  • ¼ c water
  • ¼ c coconut flakes
  • 1 c bread crumbs
  • frying oil

Shrimp Sauce:

  • 3 T Ketchup
  • 1 T gochujang 고추장 or Korean red pepper paste
  • 1 T garlic
  • 1 t soy sauce
  • 1 t sugar


Clean and cut the shrimp first. If you have whole, shell-on shrimp, remove the shell and head, leaving the tail. Remove the ‘vein’ and make a butterfly cut.


Next, prepare the batter by mixing the flour and water in a small bowl. The batter should be pasty and not too runny.

One one plate, add some flour for dipping. On a seperate plate, mix the bread crumbs and coconut flakes together.

Coat the shrimp with flour in the first plate.

Now, take one shrimp, holding it by the tail, and dip it into the bowl of batter.

Move the battered shrimp to the bread crumbs, coating the shrimp thoroughly.

Place the coated shrimp onto a plate and continue the batter- and breading process for the rest of the shrimp.


In a cooking pot, add enough frying oil to cover the shrimp completely.

Turn on the heat and wait for the oil to get to a cooking temperature between 175ºC to 190ºC or 350ºF to 375ºF. If you don’t have a frying thermometer, drop a few bread crumbs into the oil. The crumbs should sizzle steadily without popping or jumping when the temperature is in the right range.


With the oil heated, dip the shrimp in and let them cook until golden-brown.

Remove the first batch and continue cooking the rest.



To make the shrimp sauce, combine all the shrimp sauce ingredients and stir.


Coconut Shrimp 1

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