July 19-21, 2015

Marcus and I were following the rain from Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng, Laos. We opted to take a van which was 120,000 Lao Kip (LAK) or $14.85 USD. With that cheap price comes with absolutely no details, though. I’ll tell you our timeline:

13:30 - Ready to be picked up.
13:40 - Picked up and dropped off in the middle of nowhere.
14:40 - Crammed into a van with 13 other people and all our gear slung up on the roof and wrapped in a tarp, and left Luang Prabang.
17:20 - Our first bathroom break.
17:55-18:20 - Scheduled break to eat and shop, a percentage going to the driver, I assume.
19:20 - Arrive in Vang Vieng.

I tend to be especially nervous about fast drivers in rainy weather, but adding to the fact that the road was full of potholes, mud pits, and hairpin turns, I was feeling especially weary about the ride. Marcus was smart to give me a sleeping pill and remind me that I was packed in like a sardine (just in case the worse happened). And, like the locals tell you, “This is Lao P.D.R. - Please Don’t Rush.”

Big happy sighs all around when we pulled into rainy Vang Vieng. Marcus led the way down the street to Champa Lao where we booked a room with a sweet view of misty mountains overlooking the Nam Song River. I remember saying that it looked like Jurassic Park.

Tubing the river here used to be a hedonistic rite of passage where by 2011, a staggering 20-odd tourists were dying each year from heart attacks, drowning and broken necks, plus there were frequent drug busts. In August 2012 most of the river bar owners were ordered by the government to shut down, thus ending a dark chapter in the town’s history. The drugs are no longer heavy and the party not quite as dark. Still, you’ll hear random tourists asking for a “magic shake” here and there.

So, on a very rainy day with the river water high and flowing fast, we rented inner-tubes to float down a river, bar-to-bar. A tube cost 115,000 LAK (55,000 rental and 60,000 deposit). If you returned your tube after 6:00 pm, you’d be charged an extra 20,000. And, if you lost it, well, you lost your deposit. 

The rules were simple:

• Be careful of bad farang (tourists) stealing your tube.
  
• Drink responsibly.
  
• Don’t be crazy.
  
• Don’t be the bad guy. Be the good guy.
  

With cheap booze, laughing gas, and who knows what else, it’s easy to get sloppy. As you float the river, grab onto ropes and pull yourself into a different party at your convenience. You’re rewarded with free shots and a small braided bracelet just for arriving. Loud music, mud soccer, and crazy zip-lines. People we met lost things (e.g. money and cameras) and even hurt themselves (e.g. broken or sprained limbs).

I’m forever grateful that I was with a friend who I knew would help me no matter what state either of us got into. I’ll never forget him putting his hair in pigtails, eating a bug, and tubing the river stomach-first that day. I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to pull the tube and myself out of the river with out him. Like I said, the river was full and moving fast that day -and there is no one to help you get out. No one wants the party to end.

I probably sound like an old maid, but it can be really dangerous. Be mindful of where you are and what you’re consuming. Be careful about wandering and the company you keep. Have fun, but first, be safe.