As I mentioned before, I don’t like taking taxis very often. I especially don’t like taking them alone because I don’t look like a typically foreigner.

Once they detect my accent, taxi drivers will usually ask me where I’m from. I realize that I look somewhat Korean; maybe even chaemi kyopo (재미 교포). Sometimes it is funny, but most of the time, it is just very sad. The cryptic looks on their faces and disgusted tone of voice seems to imply the inevitable “shame on you, shame on your parents, and I’m sorry that your crappy Korean speaking ability is making your ancestors turn, shamefully, in their hallowed graves.”

Once in a while I’ll initiate a dialogue and the driver and I will come to some sort of understanding, but that kind of thing takes a lot of effort and patience. When I’m not up to doing it, I used to just tell the drivers that I was Japanese. And when I did so, instead of insults, my speaking ability would be greeted with compliments and encouraging words. “Why, if you study just a little bit longer, you’ll be able to speak Korean like a regular Korean person!”

I say USED TO, because one day I got bit…

So one day I was all, “Oh, I came from Japan. I’m Japanese.” Then the taxi driver busted into what sounded like fluent Japanese. Damn. I was too shocked to whip up a plausible lie to cover up the one I had just told, so I stammered that I didn’t understand what he said.

He didn’t get mad; he just seemed really disappointed and bewildered. “Why’d you have to lie to ahjusshi? I don’t understand.” I felt terrible and thought I should excuse myself quickly; even though I was still a ways from my destination, I said, “Uh, why don’t you just let me off here.”

During the extra 15 minutes it took to get home that evening, I thought about what I had done, and resolved never again to lie to a taxi driver about being Japanese. Because obviously, Chinese was the way to go—if I ever encountered a Chinese speaking cab driver, I’d always have that “sorry, but I think we speak different dialects” thing to fall back on.