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Gay Dating in Korea Tip #3: There Will Be Coyness

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TKQ is no stranger to the dating world in Korea. Since my big breakup in March (which spurred the creation of this blog), I've seen my fair share of Koreans. Whether it be one night stands, casual dates, lightning blind dates, or investing my emotions in undeserving partners, I've done a lot of Koreans dating in Korea. And one thing that often stands out is a level of coyness upon first meeting.

I don't find coyness sexy at all. Or cute. It makes the date go very awkwardly and slowly. Especially if you are speaking in a foreign language. Tonight, I spent the entire first date speaking Korean, and I had planned a pretty nice evening, including delicious chicken cut noodle soup (닭칼국수) and a walk around the Cheongyecheon lantern festival. It didn't work out as planned. After a couple of hours I just couldn't stand the awkwardness. I was prying information out of him, trying to make conversation. My date, on the other hand, was way too busy trying to look modest and shy. This resulted in him just looking boring. And me feeling like this:
I'm trying my hardest, but you are so not interesting right now

I guess this is where drinking comes in. I try not to drink much during the week, but if we would have had a bottle of soju, I'm sure his personality would have come out. From his physiognomy, I would guess he is normally a flamboyant and fun guy. Probably as gay as Jo Kwon.

So here is my advice: come to a date with a decent amount of questions prepared. If you don't like awkward silences, throw in some of your own long stories. But don't judge the person by the first meeting. I've found that once the physical barrier is broken even slightly, most walls go down. A kiss can change the situation from barely even keeping up a conversation to wild love making. And once you break that barrier, you can probably learn more about the person. Or not. Your call.