By Manley C. Fatz
Editor’s note: The following is a true story but names have been changed.
Profile of a Thief
Now Vincent is a nerd, a nice nerd, a friendly nerd but a nerd nevertheless. When he got a new phone he knew what he was doing–the processor was the best and the fastest, the screen was the brightest and it had the most memory out of any phone on the market. He didn’t even mind that it was a Motorola. When he got the phone he rooted it (“Rooting” is what nerds do to their smart phones but then cannot explain to any non-nerd what the benefits are). Vincent loved his phone, hell, he loved it so much we all loved it on his behalf. That’s why we were so upset when it was stolen.