Kim Jung Un

The Return of The World Famous (but all too infrequent) If I Had A Minute To Spare Global Caption Competition of Death and Love and Harmony

It has been over one year and six months since my last submission, and frankly I’m apologetic. But as a means of earning your forgiveness, I present to you the grand return of everyone’s favourite World Famous (but all too infrequent) If I Had a Minute to Spare Global Caption Competition of Death and Love and Harmony (yes, regulars will now not the World Famous (but all too infrequent) If I Had a Minute to Spare Global Caption Competition of Death and Love is now harmonious).

Imagine, December 2011 was the last time this competition graced these humble pages. It’s not because I don’t love you and your love of this wonderous competition, it’s just that I haven’t found the right moment captured by a humble lens, if I have bothered looking at all.


Feeding the North Korean Troll

Enough is enough. Kim Jung Un this is for you:

20130412-174335.jpg

We’ve had enough of your unappreciative tone, and like a screaming and whining little misbehaving child, we are giving you exactly what you want; a big plate of fried chicken (from Suwon’s finest 진미통닭 no less).

You see there appears to be no other solution. You have trolled the international media far too long, and I for one have had enough.

For starters, my twitter feed is full of newspapers making you out to be important, while all the while we just see is you hiding under that big black coat and looking at really old looking phallic military pariphenalia.


10 Reasons North Korea Should Wait to Launch its Rocket.

Dear North Korea,

Here are 10 reasons you should postpone your rocket launch.

10.  It’s too cold outside to watch a rocket launch- It’s cold in Seoul this winter.  I wouldn’t even go outside to meet a naked girl with chicken wings.  It must be freezing for the under-clothed, starving, rural North Koreans.  Not feeding them is sad enough, but providing them with an explosion they won’t enjoy or watch (too cold outside) is unusually cruel.  You should wait until it gets warmer to launch the rocket.

9. South Korea blocked all the good porn sites- Actually, this is a good reason for you to launch a faulty rocket.  If we can’t look at porn in South Korea, explosions from crappy rockets are the next best thing.


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