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Too hilarious not to share

So, I asked one of my ESL students to keep a diary every day to help him practice his English. I told him he could email me the diaries, if he wanted to, and I will correct them the same day.  The other day, what he sent me was too hilarious not to share with the world:

 

I cooked curry.

I ate it.

It was very good.

……….. 

 

Words of marriage proposal.

 

Well,

Today’s study of material is trying to this.

 

In japan.

Could you make me Miso soup every day.(standard)

 

Trying to get married.

Will you marry me.

We together forever.

I want you together forever.

It will become happy together.

Let the future together.

I protects you as long as my life.


Some Things Never Change

One of the most amusing things about teaching middle school is the constant marriage proposals and date invitations I get from my boys. Today was the first day back after vacation, and within minutes of walking out of my office, the barrage began.


Student 1: Teacher! When we together date?
Me: Sorry, it's impossible
Student 1: I am so angry! My heart is devil.

Student 2: Teacher! Marry me!
Me: Why?
Student: Teacher very pretty.
Me: Sorry, I can't.

Student 3: Mother fucker!

He suddenly noticed I was there, and after looking scared for a moment, put his arm around his friend and, as they walked off down the hall, continued to call out "Mother friend! Mother friend!"

~later~

Student 4: Teacher! Please marry me.
Me: I can't. You are too young.
Student 4: No, no, not young. Please.
Me: Okay, fine. When?
Student 4: Tomorrow.
Me: Awesome. Where?

10 Things South Korea Does Faster

One of the first Korean words I learned after my arrival to the peninsula was bbali (빨리). Meaning "fast," it's a term used frequently and, in my opinion, perfectly summarizes the entire country in two syllables. After all, the nation rose from the ashes of the Korean War in a mere six decades to become one of the world's greatest economies. In general, Koreans do a lot of things fast. Here's 10 of them, in no particular order.

Transportation

Human rights guaranteed, if you can afford it!

You can’t marry who you want. Did you know that? You might think you can, but in this country, you can’t.

Now, you might say that’s rubbish. You might say, “This 2014. This is the UK. This is a democracy. I can settle down with any gender of any race, colour or creed I choose. It is a basic human right. The right to a private and family life is protected in the UK by the Human Rights Act of 1998.”

Well, you’d be wrong.


Gayspeak: 동성결혼 Same Sex Marriage


Holding signs reading "동성결혼 합법화" 
(Legalization of Same Sex Marriage) Source

Very simple Korean queer word for my readers today.

동성결혼 (dong-seong-kyeo-ron)

Gayspeak: 위장결혼 Marriage in Disguise

As the theme of Two Weddings and a Funeral, this word kept popping up and it would be good for anyone who wants to watch the show.

위장결혼 (wee-jang-kyeo-ron)

위장 means camouflage or disguise and 결혼 means marriage. In Two Weddings and a Funeral, the main characters have a 위장결혼식 to trick the world into thinking they are not queer (as you can imagine, it doesn't work out too well). The word can be translated as a marriage in disguise, sham marriage, or contract marriage.



Park Won-soon: "Legalization of Gay Marriage Reported by Foreign Press is a Misinterpretation

Sigh. Looks like Seoul Mayor Park Won-soon is backing off from a statement that hinted at a pro-gay marriage stance. Thanks for an anonymous comment for pointing me to this article. From the Hankyoreh (translated by TKQ):



Queer Links from the Week: Mayor Park Won-soo on gay marriage in Korea and Seo Tae-ji Isn't Gay


Seoul Mayor Park won-soo spoke with the San Francisco Examiner last week saying that he wants wants same-sex marriage in Korea as first in Asia. As Park is a possible presidential candidate for the 2017 elections, I hope he can stand by this conviction. This is definitely the biggest news from this week. 

만우절: “April Fool’s Day” in SK

 

1Have you received or pulled a prank today? April 1st is April Fool’s Day, 만우절 in Korean. My husband woke up very early this morning, and I thought that he was planning to play a trick on me, but he was just watching the news. Perhaps, he got tired of playing tricks, because we have been pranking each other every 만우절 since we got married. I was tempted to turn off the water heater while he was taking a shower, but I remembered he has a cold. He’s taking a nap right now and I’m thinking of drawing a mustache on his face. A friend is coming later. When she sees him, I bet the reaction will be gut-busting! =)


Much Ado about White Day

Today is White Day, 화이트데이 (hwaiteu dei) in Korean. White Day is another special day for couples celebrated on March 14th in some countries in Asia including South Korea, Japan, China and Taiwan. White Day is similar to Western-style Valentine’s Day wherein men give chocolates, candies, flowers or gifts to their ladylove.


Sookmyung Women’s University Invites Filipina Marriage Migrants to Participate in a Study

All Filipino women married to Koreans are invited to participate in the Filipino Women’s Study spearheaded by Sookmyung Women’s University Food and Nutrition Department. Those who are divorced or separated from their Korean husband may also join. The study aims to to evaluate the health status of Filipino women married to Korean men, as well as their children. Results from this work will be presented in a scientific journal and the mainstream press. Information gathered will help shape health guidelines for Filipino women and their children living in Korea and other countries.


Is all Marriage Created Equal?

 

After watching the now stratospheric speech by Panti Bliss in the Abbey theatre I had an uncomfortable feeling. Why was ‘she’ so angry at ‘me’? Why did she repeatedly utter the words ‘I check myself’ almost to the point of complete irritation. Why was I so annoyed?


Walking Together – One Year Anniversary

I can’t believe it’s been one year since we got married! We started collecting clips for this video right after we got married. It was Evan’s idea to film us walking in different places throughout the year. A lot of you may not know that before we had this website, we had a blog called “Feet in Places”! When we were traveling around SE Asia we took pictures of our feet in cool places and posted them on our blog. It didn’t last long, and eventually got overrun with scary foot fetish people! haha :P

Anyways I think its a unique way to commemorate our first year of marriage together, and I love the video Evan made. <3 We've decided to make another video this year, but you'll have to wait until next year to find out the theme! ^^


Todd Henry on Arirang TV


Professor Todd Henry spoke on Arirang TV last week on the prospect of gay marriage in Korea. Of course, as this is Arirang television the clip is in English.

The video is available at Arirang TV. Fast forward to 17:25 for the interview.  

Why are there more Asian Women with White Guys than Asian Guys with White Women?

I took issue with yet another of Ask a Korean's posts this week (he seems to be good ammunition for the Korea blogosphere at the moment), not so much because I disagreed totally with him but because of what he left out, which was important to say.


Listen at 6:10 PM Today on Arirang News

Todd Henry will be on Arirang News today (Tuesday, October 7th) at 6:10pm to talk about the prospects of same-sex marriage in Korea. Make sure you tune in! Unfortunately, I will be sleeping, but I will try to provide a link after it airs!


You can stream Arirang directly from your computer. Enjoy!

Queer Links from the Week

Queer Links from the Week

All of the news for this week is about the wedding. Congrats! Looks like they got it registered?!?


Hankyoreh: Filmmakers wed in Korea’s first-ever public same sex marriage
Korean Herald: First gay marriage stirs controversy

First Gay Marriage in South Korea Causes a Stir

 


Why Korean Men and Women Marry Foreigners (Matchmaking Poll)

I'm not big on talking about the whole dating and marriage thing, but when I came across this article I figured I wouldn't be the only one who was intrigued.  The Chosen Ilbo recently reported a poll taken by matchmaking company, Bien-Aller, about the reasons why Korean men AND women make their choices to marry someone from outside their own ethnic and cultural group.


According to the poll, 32.1 percent of the men said they felt the biggest benefit of marrying foreign women is their lack of interest in their groom's educational background and financial or social status


For me, the reasons Korean men and women make their choices, according to this poll, were not what I expected.  The next three most popular reasons for seeking a foreign bride?


Why Korean Men and Women Marry Foreigners (Matchmaking Poll)

I’m not big on talking about the whole dating and marriage thing, but when I came across this article I figured I wouldn’t be the only one who was intrigued.  The Chosen Ilbo recently reported a poll taken by matchmaking company, Bien-Aller, about the reasons why Korean men AND women make their choices to marry someone from outside their own ethnic and cultural group.

According to the poll, 32.1 percent of the men said they felt the biggest benefit of marrying foreign women is their lack of interest in their groom’s educational background and financial or social status

For me, the reasons Korean men and women make their choices, according to this poll, were not what I expected.  The next three most popular reasons for seeking a foreign bride?


My Husband’s Serenade

 


Foreign Spouses to Take Korean Language Test for Marriage Visa

Photo from Koreatimes, May 29th, 2013

Photo from Koreatimes, May 29th, 2013

Starting next year, foreign spouses will be required to take a Korean Language test when applying for a marriage visa. As of now, there is no rule requiring foreign spouses to take the Korean Language test, but because there have been many reports of interracial marriages ending up in divorce and several cases of domestic violence and marital problems caused by language barrier and cultural differences, theMinistry of Justice is implementing stringent language requirements.

According to the Koreatimes, the test will be given during a visa interview. If you have acquired the beginner level certificate of the Test of Proficiency in Korean (TOPIK), the interview will be waived. To pass Level 1 of TOPIK, you should be able to understand and construct simple sentences for practical writing and daily life (such as introducing yourself, greeting, shopping and ordering at a restaurant) using 800 basic vocabulary words and simple sentence structures in Korean. To obtain Level 2, you should be able to comprehend and express common and personal topics (such as schedules, hobbies and appointments) using 1,500 to 2,000 words and more basic grammar structures, as well as distinguish between formal and informal use of the Korean language. If you want to know more about TOPIK, you may visit topikguide.com.


Philippine Ajumma

 


By Linda Arnaez-Lee
(Translation from Kinaray-a by Jose Edison C. Tondares)

“Getting a husband is like gambling. You never know if it is good luck or bad luck that will hit you. That is why it is better for you a get a husband from somewhere near. If your husband hurts you, you can easily run home. What are you going to do in Korea? It’s too far. Here, even if it is just a harvester that you marry, at least you are close to us.” These were the last words my father spoke to me when I asked his permission to marry a Korean.

“What? You are marrying a Korean? Why a Korean? Just where did you meet that guy? You have so many suitors and you pick a Korean? Are you sure about that?” All these questions from my friends and co-teachers in a public school where I teach were like rattling gunfire.


Let Me Tell You Something about My Korean Parents-in-law


Honey, Thanks for the Additional Calories! ^^

 

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Reading List: The Wedding Banquet Revisited: "Contract Marriages" Between Korean Gays and Lesbians

Published in 2009 in Anthropological Quarterly Vol. 82, No. 2, The Wedding Banquet Revisited: "Contract Marriages" Between Korean Gays and Lesbians is now available on JSTOR. The abstract:

This paper examines how Korean gays and lesbians negotiate South Korea's heteronormative system anchored in the heterosexual and patriarchal family through marriages of convenience ("contract marriages"). Korean gays and lesbians pursued contract marriages in order to fulfill their filial duties to marry, while maintaining their gay and lesbian lifestyles. Yet, in pursuing contract marriages as individuals but in the service of conforming to the family, they both reinscribe and transform the heteronormatie values of marriage, family, and children. They also challenge the Westernized model of the "out and proud" gay or lesbian. 

Who Snores Now, Huh?

 

The-Snoring-Beauty-disney-princess-21730006-754-603


Terms of Endearment

 

Last night, while I was doing my usual beauty ritual before going to bed, my husband said: “You know what, sometimes I forget your name.”

I turned to look at him, a bit amused: “That’s a joke, right?’


Toothbrush

 


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