The trees are stretching arms above the road
These too-familiar turnings let me dream
Adrift in thoughts that never make a sound
Above glass beach I hear the Puget Sound
The crashing waves that once were called whale’s road
And wonder if a fish can ever dream
From autumn wind, the sky becomes a dream
While naked branches dance, mad with the sound
Of raindrops pelting gently on the road
In dream, I run along the road—with silent steps that never leave a sound.
This one was, surprisingly, not as difficult as I'd anticipated. It's a variation on the sestina, a tritina, which uses a set of repeating words and usually iambic pentameter. Apparently all I write about these days is my hometown, the good old Northwest US of A. Plus, it gave me a chance to be sneaky about my 3rd word. :3
Well, it didn’t matter. He’d had enough. He wasn’t going to try to understand anything anymore. He was going home.
Except that wizards can never go home.
-Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
I come back to that quote every once in a while. When I first read Sourcery, back in high school, I breezed right past it; during a more recent read, it jumped off the page and lodged itself in my brain, and so far, despite my best efforts, I've been unable to kick it out.
Home is something I think about a lot. I've moved so many times that it's taken on a sort of hazy, unfocused quality. There's my hometown, where some of my family is, the place when I spent my childhood. There's my mom's home, in a town I've never lived in. Is it Seattle, where I graduated college? When I say "I want to go home," what do I mean?
It happens abroad
To explore is a great gift
But the tug of the deeply familiar in the midst of differences
Emotions too hard to deal with
Sometimes can be a blessing
Away from home will help you to remember that you love home
Being homesick sucks. Some days when I wake up in the morning, I roll over and hope to magically find myself back in my own bed. Or, as I’m shuffling through the line in the lunchroom, I take one look at the food in front of me and wish like hell that I was about to eat a hamburger. Harder yet is seeing new pictures on Facebook of friends and family from home as they continue to live their lives…without me.
I knew this feeling was coming. It was inevitable. But that hasn’t made it any easier to deal with. What has helped, though, is when I:
The oddest thing about being back home for two weeks was the way it made my life in Korea seem almost...unreal. As if it was nothing more than a very vivid dream. Now, part of this was caused by how much jetlag was addling my brain, making everything a bit more confusing and strange. It was a scary feeling, though. Before I moved to Korea, my life wasn't great. I was done with Seattle, and I felt like my life was on hold, like I wasn't moving in any useful direction. I was anxious all the time, frustrated, unclear about what I was supposed to be doing with my life.
Wow, it's been a long time. All my grand intentions to keep up on my writing while I went back home for 2 weeks evaporated under the pressures of 3 towns in 2 weeks and more family and friends to meet than seems possible. I didn't even see everyone I wanted to, and I still felt like I needed a personal assistant just to manage my social calendar.
By now you will have gathered that I haven’t been blogging with the same level of ferocity as you may have been familiar with. I have given the blog a bit of a rest so that I can settle into life back in Ireland, as well as concentrate on other projects and writing goals. It […]
If you’re not already aware I’ll be leaving in about a week. I know I’m going on about it a fair bit, but it is what I’ve been building up to for quite a while and it feels appropriate to me to talk about it a lot. Right now, in terms of being in Korea, it doesn’t feel like there is much else I should be talking about. One thing though that I’d like to make clear though is my intentions.
Never at any point have I turned around and said I have to get out of Korea for some abhorrent reason, like the usual tripe you hear about the inadequacies of Korea, Koreans, or indeed the inadequacies of those who cannot accept that this is a very different country to the one which they were raised in. I could go on here, but I won’t.