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When things we did in camp go wrong.. lol She was going for,...

When things we did in camp go wrong.. lol She was going for, “We did a pirate skit.” ㅋㅋㅋ #funny #honestmistake #learnenglish #cuteness

No idea what copyright laws are like in Korea, but I see a lot...

Korean K-Mart

Kenny Rogers Norebang Karaoke Singing Room

CNN in Busan

Belle & Sebastian Clothing Store

No idea what copyright laws are like in Korea, but I see a lot of what I deem infringement here in Korea. Whether it be a copied business name, musical act, or celebrity… Something seems off –but many times, hilarious. Have you seen anything similar lately?

In Korea, they call corn a “Mexican drug.”

In Korea, they call corn a “Mexican drug.”

Omg hahaha

Omg hahaha

23 Times Your Expat Life Was Like An Episode of Friends


Some Things Never Change

One of the most amusing things about teaching middle school is the constant marriage proposals and date invitations I get from my boys. Today was the first day back after vacation, and within minutes of walking out of my office, the barrage began.

Student 1: Teacher! When we together date?
Me: Sorry, it's impossible
Student 1: I am so angry! My heart is devil.

Student 2: Teacher! Marry me!
Me: Why?
Student: Teacher very pretty.
Me: Sorry, I can't.

Student 3: Mother fucker!

He suddenly noticed I was there, and after looking scared for a moment, put his arm around his friend and, as they walked off down the hall, continued to call out "Mother friend! Mother friend!"


Student 4: Teacher! Please marry me.
Me: I can't. You are too young.
Student 4: No, no, not young. Please.
Me: Okay, fine. When?
Student 4: Tomorrow.
Me: Awesome. Where?

Weekly Quote Collection 2: Questionable Advice

While teaching advice, we had a few gems.

Problem: I don't have any friends.


"You should make boyfriend!"

"Well, how can I meet him?"

"PC bang!"

Okay kids. I'll just hang around the PC bangs until I meet my Prince Charming.

Problem: I'm going to meet SHINee.

"You should bring your soul."

"You shouldn't say ugly. You should say handsome!"

These ones I actually quite liked. How could I not bring my soul if I were to meet SHINee?

The other thing I'm teaching this week is "which do you prefer" and after one day it's already been great.

"Which do you prefer, eating or sleeping?"

"I prefer eating, because my mouth wants."

Then I asked the same student again: "Which do you prefer, singing or dancing?"

"I prefer singing, mouth wants."

Weekly Quote Collection: Shaking my Sausage

My students are constantly saying either hilarious or amazing things, so I'm going to start posting highlights here on a weekly basis. This week was...quite the week.

During a 1st year class:

"Teacher! I'm shaking my sausage every day!"

"Me too teacher! I'm very long sausage!"

Someone had taught them the term "johnson" as well, so there were plenty such jokes as well. Another boy came up to me to ask "Teacher, what is 'Johnson'?" I managed to choke out, while trying to hide my laughter "It's...a boy has..."

"Ah, okay okay. Thank you teacher."

I accidentally wore burgundy tights and a red coat and an orangey scarf today, so the comments about my color choices were common. The best, though, happened during my last class of the day today.

The Weird Thing About Korean Bathrooms

Or rather, things. Or rather, Alfred.

Sorry, that is a joke with an incredibly narrow scope, but I'll leave it in and see if anyone gets it. Maybe I'll give you a prize.

ANYWAYS. I figured that since I spend so much of my time thinking about bathrooms, I'd better make a post about it, in hopes that after taking the time to write about my problems, they might plague me less. Here's hoping!

1. Where the hell is the toilet paper?

Before I moved to Korea, I never realized how lucky I was to be able to assume that all bathrooms would have toilet paper. I took toilet paper for granted. It was always there, unless I forgot to buy it. It was something I could count on.

Daily Snapshot: sister, teacher,

There's all sorts of classes, but my favorites are the ones who share my dumb sense of humor, the ones I can laugh and joke with. A great example happened just recently, in my 2nd period 2nd grade class.

We were playing a game in teams, where each team had a mixed up sentence on strips of paper to rearrange into a correct sentence. First 3 teams to finish got points, so the pressure was really on. However, it's really hard to keep track of which team raises their hand first, so...things get a bit silly.

For instance, in the third round, team 4 was convinced, and I mean CONVINCED that they had been the second team to finish. As I'm scanning the crowd, consulting with my coteacher, I suddenly hear the piercing cry of a middle school student in the wild.

"언니!! Unnie! Unnieeeeeee!" 

10 Things About Korea…

So I won’t be along here much longer, so I thought I’d give this a shot. There’s plenty about Korea that I’m going to miss, without a doubt, and then there’s a fair amount of things I won’t miss about Korea. It would be fair to say the same about anywhere, of course. So here […]

It reads like sodomy… right? It’s funny…...

It reads like sodomy… right? It’s funny… right?! Alright, I’m immature, I get it… Oh well.

I don’t know if this is more funny to me if I imagine (1)...

I don’t know if this is more funny to me if I imagine (1) an energy factory fueling the world with donuts or (2) vegetation that produces edible donuts. English is a hilarious language sometimes, isn’t it?

A Letter to My Seven Month Old Daughter


Dear +1,

Look at you with your smiles and shitty nappies, you are the world too me. You may not realise it as you are undoubtedly focusing on something you just saw and must now touch, but it’s true, you mean so much to me.

I am writing to you today as I wish to part with some advice. As you are young it is hard for you to understand much, and as you are young it is your natural inclination to believe that you are 100% correct about everything. If the truth be told you will not learn the fallacy of this until you are, well probably close to your own deathbed many years from now.

I don’t have a good caption for this picture. Sorry. This...

I don’t have a good caption for this picture. Sorry. This shouldn’t make me laugh, but it does.

What, pray tell, is an Autobahn VAG?

What, pray tell, is an Autobahn VAG?

While in Daejeon, I saw that a lot of banks had statues in front...

While in Daejeon, I saw that a lot of banks had statues in front of naked families. I have no idea what this symbolizes, and I’ve never seen it anywhere else in Korea, but it’s hilarious. Naked families embracing each other or building clouds together… Sure, that’s where I’ll invest my money. Thank you, Daejeon banks. You made my day.

“Getting There”

This is a short narrative post I initially set out to write for Groove Magazine‘s “Share Story, Win Trip” writing competition. The call came out for ‘funny’ travel stories where a lesson was learned. The winning pieces would be read out loud dramatically. Frankly, there just aren’t enough of these kind of encouraging writing opportunities in Korea. I could say more but I’ll get distracted.

I started writing mine and about two paragraphs from the end I decided that it wasn’t a travel story. So I stopped writing. I came back about a week later and took another crack at it, tidied it up but left it loosely over the 500 word limit, which kind of left it for any kind of flash litt and too short to be considered anything else. Still it’s a good story. You’ll laugh. I hope. 

Getting There

10 Reasons North Korea Should Wait to Launch its Rocket.

Dear North Korea,

Here are 10 reasons you should postpone your rocket launch.

10.  It’s too cold outside to watch a rocket launch- It’s cold in Seoul this winter.  I wouldn’t even go outside to meet a naked girl with chicken wings.  It must be freezing for the under-clothed, starving, rural North Koreans.  Not feeding them is sad enough, but providing them with an explosion they won’t enjoy or watch (too cold outside) is unusually cruel.  You should wait until it gets warmer to launch the rocket.

9. South Korea blocked all the good porn sites- Actually, this is a good reason for you to launch a faulty rocket.  If we can’t look at porn in South Korea, explosions from crappy rockets are the next best thing.

“Call Me Maybe, Teacher?” -Phone Teaching with Korean Students-

Obvious signs of Vampire infiltration of the South Korean populace

Today, in a grocery store, I finally put the pieces together and felt like a dummy for not seeing it earlier. Korea has a huge number of vampires and they have infiltrated the government to hide the fact.  It’s so obvious!

Was this a documentary?



When Animals Get Wheels

Last weekend, along with finding the Love Bug, I found the weirdest mode of transportation- at the same mall. 

There's this cool below ground mall in Seomyeon set within the apartment complex called 'the Sharp'.

Saturday morning cartoons*

Instead of watching saturday morning cartoons, we are entertaining ourselves with some great commercials

Cracks us up every time

Notice the “illegal money” they are actually saying ill ill gu which is 119.. we laugh every time here watch this one on tv.

You too have have beautiful skin like this man

Morning Chuckle

Just a little funny for this Wednesday morning.

Adam and I were researching how much food to give Eunee (we can’t really read the back of the Royal Canin Mini Starter Puppy Food, it’s in Korean)

upon finding it sold on a European site (On the actual Royal Canin site it has been edited to be PC and says mother), we read the details and both had a nice immature laugh.


My Eyes are Cracking

I don't remember exactly when this started in class, but according to my kindergarten students, my eyes are "cracking". 

Now almost daily one or more of them will get really close to my face look into my eyes really hard and proclaim that my eyes are cracking. It's becoming one of their new favorite things.

I will admit I don't help matters, and kind of egg them on by going on to tell the kids that my eyes crack a little more each day and that one day my eyes are going to fall right out.  Then I move my contacts around in my eyes and really freak them out.

  They're not that used to seeing hazel eyes and my eyes do have weird patterns in them, but it's just one of those great things that only a child's mind could think of.


Because it is Monday,  and I feel like this:

 because I am in a fight with my dear friend writer's block, and feel like I'm about this good at hiding from it: 

Sighns II: the Next Chapter

I've had more than a few requests for another round of Sighns, so I've been keeping my eyes open for some really awesome ones just for you.


Korea really does have a lot of English signage. Definitely a lot more than I had originally expected.  And a lot of the time it's perfectly fine... and other times it's not. 

Sometimes you come across a sign so wrong that there's nothing more you can do except take a picture and share some giggles with the world. 

Make-up shops in Korea are almost the same...

I feel like this one pops up frequently amongst residents of Busan, but it's too good to not include:

personalization can be too personal: ESL experiences

In almost every unit of almost every ESL textbook, there is a part where students use the grammar or vocabulary to describe themselves or their experiences.  Even without a textbook, teachers quite properly, try to elicit personal statements from their students.  Usually, this is a good idea.

On his blog, “An A-Z of ELT, Thornbury discusses where these discussions could take you:

In his novel, The Folding Star, Alan Hollinghurst (1994) recounts how the protagonist, a young Englishman recently arrived in a Belgian town, sets himself up as a private English tutor. One of his pupils suffers from asthma, and our hero idly asks him if he knows how he got it.

rats and badminton

Happy New Year, Everyone!

My post today isn’t about the New Year, but about two events that occurred this past week.  They have a surprising number of parallels.

First, on Wednesday night I played badminton for the first time in ages.  My friend Tom invited me to play.  I am a terrible badminton player (indeed, this is true for most team sports) but thought a friendly game would be fun.

It turned out I had an edge, a wonderful advantage.  Tom’s shoes just didn’t agree with the gym floor.  For whatever reason, he had almost no traction and I did.  To win a point against him, all I needed to do was to shoot to one side then the other, or anyway to shoot where he was not and he would be unable to get into position.

Sounds simple, right?  It did work a few times despite Tom’s long arms.  There were a few occasions where I did get him to the left side then forced him to run unsuccessfully to the other side chasing (shuttle)cock.

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