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The Weird Thing About Korean Bathrooms

Or rather, things. Or rather, Alfred.

Sorry, that is a joke with an incredibly narrow scope, but I'll leave it in and see if anyone gets it. Maybe I'll give you a prize.

ANYWAYS. I figured that since I spend so much of my time thinking about bathrooms, I'd better make a post about it, in hopes that after taking the time to write about my problems, they might plague me less. Here's hoping!

1. Where the hell is the toilet paper?


Before I moved to Korea, I never realized how lucky I was to be able to assume that all bathrooms would have toilet paper. I took toilet paper for granted. It was always there, unless I forgot to buy it. It was something I could count on.

Daily Snapshot: sister, teacher, mother...brother?

There's all sorts of classes, but my favorites are the ones who share my dumb sense of humor, the ones I can laugh and joke with. A great example happened just recently, in my 2nd period 2nd grade class.

We were playing a game in teams, where each team had a mixed up sentence on strips of paper to rearrange into a correct sentence. First 3 teams to finish got points, so the pressure was really on. However, it's really hard to keep track of which team raises their hand first, so...things get a bit silly.

For instance, in the third round, team 4 was convinced, and I mean CONVINCED that they had been the second team to finish. As I'm scanning the crowd, consulting with my coteacher, I suddenly hear the piercing cry of a middle school student in the wild.

"언니!! Unnie! Unnieeeeeee!" 

10 Things About Korea…

So I won’t be along here much longer, so I thought I’d give this a shot. There’s plenty about Korea that I’m going to miss, without a doubt, and then there’s a fair amount of things I won’t miss about Korea. It would be fair to say the same about anywhere, of course. So here […]

It reads like sodomy… right? It’s funny…...



It reads like sodomy… right? It’s funny… right?! Alright, I’m immature, I get it… Oh well.


I don’t know if this is more funny to me if I imagine (1)...



I don’t know if this is more funny to me if I imagine (1) an energy factory fueling the world with donuts or (2) vegetation that produces edible donuts. English is a hilarious language sometimes, isn’t it?


A Letter to My Seven Month Old Daughter

20130619-174855.jpg

Dear +1,

Look at you with your smiles and shitty nappies, you are the world too me. You may not realise it as you are undoubtedly focusing on something you just saw and must now touch, but it’s true, you mean so much to me.

I am writing to you today as I wish to part with some advice. As you are young it is hard for you to understand much, and as you are young it is your natural inclination to believe that you are 100% correct about everything. If the truth be told you will not learn the fallacy of this until you are, well probably close to your own deathbed many years from now.


I don’t have a good caption for this picture. Sorry. This...



I don’t have a good caption for this picture. Sorry. This shouldn’t make me laugh, but it does.


What, pray tell, is an Autobahn VAG?



What, pray tell, is an Autobahn VAG?


While in Daejeon, I saw that a lot of banks had statues in front...







While in Daejeon, I saw that a lot of banks had statues in front of naked families. I have no idea what this symbolizes, and I’ve never seen it anywhere else in Korea, but it’s hilarious. Naked families embracing each other or building clouds together… Sure, that’s where I’ll invest my money. Thank you, Daejeon banks. You made my day.


“Getting There”

This is a short narrative post I initially set out to write for Groove Magazine‘s “Share Story, Win Trip” writing competition. The call came out for ‘funny’ travel stories where a lesson was learned. The winning pieces would be read out loud dramatically. Frankly, there just aren’t enough of these kind of encouraging writing opportunities in Korea. I could say more but I’ll get distracted.

I started writing mine and about two paragraphs from the end I decided that it wasn’t a travel story. So I stopped writing. I came back about a week later and took another crack at it, tidied it up but left it loosely over the 500 word limit, which kind of left it for any kind of flash litt and too short to be considered anything else. Still it’s a good story. You’ll laugh. I hope. 

Getting There


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