awkward

Training Day 1: A Terrible Afternoon at the Medical Center

I know I said I wasn’t going to post this week because I’d be too busy, but my first day of orientation was a special form of hell that definitely merits a ventpost.

Part of training with my company (that shall remain unnamed) includes, on the very first day of orientation, a medical exam. I never expected that a job position as an English teacher would demand such a humiliating, physically draining medical exam.

For one thing, we were told to fast before the medical exam, so during the morning training session I wracked with hunger. That’s why it was physically draining. It’s no big deal for me to skip breakfast and be a little hungry, but something about the jetlag and the act of being in a completely foreign environment made me SOOOO motherfucking HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I could hardly pay attention to the material we were covering!


Backcountry Camping in North Carolina

I’m leaving for South Korea tonight! Finally! Wish I were more well rested. My dad was super excited to get breakfast with me this morning and woke me up at 7:30AM!

Last week, I said goodbye to the Great American Wilderness with a backcountry camping trip in the Great Smoky Mountains with said dad.

The art of backpacking isn’t hard to master. If you’ve never gone backcountry camping before, I strongly encourage you to do so at your earliest possible convenience. I feel like there are two people in the world: Those that backpack and those that do not. Why the polarity, betches? Backpacking is easy. You need to invest the money in a solid set of gear (see below) but once that’s over with, you have many cheap vacations ahead of you. It’s not just for outdoor nuts…it’s for anyone who wants to explore what it means to be human.


5 To Do’s When Waiting To Move Abroad

Moving abroad soon, are you? Just finished up college? Grad school? Or just quit your day job? And now you’ve got some time to spare before the big trip?

You’re lucky, they say.  You’ve got time to relax, they say…

Perhaps you’re one of those people that relishes long stretches of free time. Good for you!  That’s fantas! But, if you’re anything like me free time is your nemesis. When I have nothing to do, my mind implodes and I start questioning everything in my life.

 

…EXPECTATION

beetle

 

 

…REALITY!


Too hilarious not to share

So, I asked one of my ESL students to keep a diary every day to help him practice his English. I told him he could email me the diaries, if he wanted to, and I will correct them the same day.  The other day, what he sent me was too hilarious not to share with the world:

 

I cooked curry.

I ate it.

It was very good.

……….. 

 

Words of marriage proposal.

 

Well,

Today’s study of material is trying to this.

 

In japan.

Could you make me Miso soup every day.(standard)

 

Trying to get married.

Will you marry me.

We together forever.

I want you together forever.

It will become happy together.

Let the future together.

I protects you as long as my life.


The FBI customer support sucks!

Before applying to teach ESL in South Korea, whenever I thought of the FBI (which was not often) I would free associate it with things like American’s Most Wanted, bad-ass secret agents and secret agentesses, and possibly cocaine-sniffing German Sheps. As an American, I guess I felt a certain amount of confidence in our Federal Bureau of Investigation. I thought it was pretty powerful. And pretty cool.

BUT THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED…

fbi

 


10 Mysterious Google Image Results of “South Korea”

 

I’m going to South Korea in exactly a month! I can’t contain my excitement! South Korea’s been on my mind, so this morning, I did a little Google Image survey of the country using the search term “South Korea.”  The results were confusing, thought-provoking, and mysterious. Here are ten of the most mysterious image results of my search:

 

1) This pink woman proudly riding a faceless green whale…

whale

 

2)…and this melty red-white-and-blue acorn!


On being a totally unqualified private ESL tutor

This past winter, I quit the fifth and last job I would have in 2014. It was a waitress gig at the local contemporary American restaurant. My boss was a bipolar alcoholic. That, combined with his penchant for playfully slapping my ass was enough for me to say good bye and fuck you very much to the restaurant industry.

Here’s a clip of my boss asking me if I wanted to see his cock (yump, I sneakily voice-memoed at work sometimes):

 


Would You Rather?


How to cope with the stress of moving abroad

I bought my plane ticket and am leaving the country on May 12th. I’m having a hard time conceptualizing what my life will be like in a few short weeks. It’s stressing me out, to be honest. I’m also worried about graduate school applications, which I’ll be completing when I’m over there. Today, I toured Duke Law and was really impressed by what I saw. And stressed. LSATs…wut?

But instead of worrying about the unknown, I’ve decided to spend a couple hours this evening focusing on the present and reflecting on the past and all the wonderful things I have in my life. (THAT I WILL MISS SO DESPERATELY ONCE I LEAVE THE COUNTRY!!!) I found GIF-making to be a helpful way to cope with stress, and I hope you enjoy the finished product of my efforts, entitled THINGS I WILL MISS SO DESPERATELY ONCE I LEAVE THE COUNTRY. 

 


Um..

 

In all honesty, as fun as it is to think that I’ve been going through some sort of early midlife crisis, the lack of comics has actually been due to two factors. The first is that I’ve been insanely busy, especially since my schedule has been getting switched up on me quite often. I guess that’s the price you pay when working odd jobs, especially during the season where everyone else is going on vacation.

The second reason? Well…let’s just say I’ve been struggling a bit. I fear I may be reaching a point where I’ve been in Korea too long. Ideas are getting stale, and I’m left feeling like I have no excuse to play the wide-eyed, confused foreigner card. It’s very possible that I’m just being too rough on myself, but it doesn’t make the creative process any easier. Maybe I just miss working on personal projects?


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