Koreabridge Blog Section

  • I Am a Fat Expat. Hear Me Chew.

    Where a torn hoodie, faded jeans, massive white tennis shoes, and barely brushed hair still manages to elicit compliments, why bother?

    I did my hair last week for a birthday party. This was boring; I don't intend on making a habit of it. One of my coworkers, who I have known for about a year and a half, remarked that when he knew me last year, I always looked nice like this. What happened? "Oh, I just stopped trying", I responded. He was perplexed, not quite understanding what I meant by that. Further explanation was required.


    This is a for anyone who's tried to contact me via facebook. It's blocked in China so I haven't been able to access it or respond to any messages. I'll be in Laos later tonight so I should be able to access it there.


    As part of my general Yunnan travel craziness, I, along with my group of scumbag compatriots, went on a three-day jungle/hill tribe trek into the hinterlands of Xishuangbanna. We hiked, swam, drank, and ate steamed bees. I'll do a detailed travelogue of this trip in the near future, but for now you can check out these pics:


    Lock up your daughters and your livestock.


    It was muthafuckin' GREEN out there.


    I recently went on a three-day trek into the hills of the Xishaungbanna region of Yunnan. Our first stop was a crazy market in the town of Menghai. I've been in Asia for five years now and have seen A LOT of markets, but this one may be the most impressive, in terms of variety, color, and the exotic.


    Minority hill tribe woman with disturbing overbite, 17 years old. They age quickly in the hills.


    Orange clad girls.


    I'm currently in Jinhong, China, a town on the Mekong River. It's located in the Xishuangbanna region of Yunnan province, near the border with Laos and Burma. The town has a proper Southeast Asian feel, with palm tree-lined streets and heavy, hot air. Today is my last day here, so I humbly offer you these photos for your perusal.


    A thunderstorm in the making. Or is it a picture of God, like on those Christian posters from the 80's?


    A boil of Koi.


    I recently spent a couple of days in Kunming, China. It's a cool city - pleasant and surprisingly clean, for Chinese standards. Cities in this country can get beyond grim. If I was to live in China, Kunming would be one of my first choices. Here are some pics:


    Bicycles on Kunming sidestreet


    Lady in Red

  • Shanghai None?


    One thing I've noticed about China is the prevalence of truly appalling haircuts on many of the young men. It seems that a most of them sport really faggy anime mushroom-head hairdos. Androgyny is definitely in, and these wispy critters loiter about the innumerable hair salons which occupy every third storefront in this town, at least.

    So if we ever go to war with the Chinese, instead of facing a formidable army, we'll be confronted by a boy band made up of 100 million simpy conscripts.

    No need to quake in thy boots.

  • Mortimer Hayden Smyth on health care

    Mortimer Hayden Smyth on health care

  • Wedding Invitations

    On Saturday September 19th, Heather and I will be getting married in the coastal city of Busan. Being such an important occasion, weddings are stressful to organise. Luckily for me, Heather is a true champion of organisational wonder. She's pretty much putting together the whole event, due to her being in the same city and speaking Korean better than a shmuck like me. At the same time, she's preparing to hand over her job as branch manager. I received the wedding invitations last week and had the dubious honour of sending them out to guests.



    We got back from our hill tribe trek yesterday. I'll write about it in more detail later, but it was full of great scenery and properly remote villages full of colorfully clad locals and hordes of pigs, ducks, chickens, and water buffaloes.

    Last night we celebrated our return by going to the Mekong Cafe and playing poker with three Frenchmen and getting absolutely CANED on some homemade "baiju," the local firewater.

    I think I'm still half blind and probably have been rendered infertile. You could power tractors with that shit.

    Time to go ride a bike and sweat out the poison.

  • A little money for you and your honey

    Mortimer Hayden Smyth on health care

  • For June

    Annie Teacher: What have we been talking about this week?

    Class: Tools!

    Annie Teacher: Good! And what do we do with tools?

    Class: (every kid yells out the name of a different tool)

    Annie Teacher: Good. We can build things with tools, like houses and castles. What do you want to build?

    June: Teacher! TEACHER!!! ME!!!

    Annie Teacher: Ok. June.

    June: An Annie Teacher store ... everything is Annie Teacher. Annie Teacher books, Annie Teacher magazines, Annie Teacher dolls ... ANNIE TEACHER!

  • towers, asphalt and sky- A Busan time-lapse- Music by DJ Lennart

    A little project I’ve been tweaking. Wanted to see how it looked online, still needs some work. Thanks to Lennart Borst for creating the haunting audio.

  • Good Morning?

    Peep Hole
    Originally uploaded by The Green Album
    5:55am ............ my buzzer rings ....... I push the button and see that there is a sober looking mildly attractive Korean guy standing at my door. I push the button and ....
    Me: Hello?
    Him: Hello?
    Me: Hello?
    Him: Is ??? there?
    Me: No, good bye.

    6:13am ......buzzer rings again .............same guy.
    Me: Hello?

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